@Aster Im not saying heaven is torture, rather that it would become torture. because of the element of eternity. after you have lived for a googolplex of millenia, it would not even be half way towards being finished.
look at it this way, imagine i put you in a fair ground for eternity, eventually, you would have been on all the rides, seen all the shows, done everything there is to do. now imagine that you want to leave the fair ground, but never will be able to.
if it is in heaven, or in hell, existing forever in a conscious state will always become torture. not only that, it would become the ultimate torture, the worst torture possible, therefore, indistinguishable from hell.
imagine a 1 followed by a trillion zeros, and each unit in that number represents a trillion years. and you have been in heaven for that long, it is not even half way to the end, in fact, its as good as having just got there because the path ahead is eternal, and by comparison, you have not even started. maybe that is not long enough for you to want to leave, if thats the case, multiply it by a billion, if its still not long enough, multiply it by a billion again, and again and again, and again, until you have done it all, until you want to leave but cant. at that moment, it becomes a torture.
there are two possibilities.
1— i exist as i am in heaven forever, so long, that all i want is to die and cant, in other words, a torture.
2— i am fundamentaly altered in some way to make me compatible with existing for eternity, and in that case, i would no longer be me.
so really, you either never go to heaven because what goes to heaven is an altered version of you that is not really you, or, you eventually wish for a death that will never come and suffer forever.