Would you be happy with your wife opening mail addressed to you?

Doesn’t bother me. He opens my mail all the time, I open his. We don’t even think twice about it. No big deal.

Put me is the camp that doesn’t give a fuck.

I’m not married, but I think it would depend greatly on what type of letter. Bills, notices, etc, I don’t think I would care. But personal letters – say from a family member or old friend – might be a different matter.

The only circumstance where I would mind would be if she read a personal letter from someone she didn’t know. That would be weird to me if I got a letter from an old girlfriend, but it was my wife that read it first.

Sometimes we open each other’s mail, sometimes we don’t. It is no big deal one way or tother!

i agree with @papayalily

I would not care. I have told my husband about all my friends I have made. Internet and in real life. I would call him nosy LOL I have read his email and they are boring.

I am a wife, and I do open mail addressed to myself or my SO.
I take care of the bills, so my SO is more than happy with this arrangement.

We open each other’s mail all the time. Sometimes we don’t. Never really thought about it. Should I be hiding something?

Geezz… my now ex., not only opened it, but forged my name and deposited my pension check in her account when we were separated. She had a good job and making good money…not like she needed it.

I’m torn. On the one hand I believe two married people should feel secure enough with each other not to mind. But on the other, I feel one’s mail, whether a bill or a letter, is private. I guess the way I’d square these conflicting feelings is, I would prefer my spouse felt as I do about privacy and personal space and not routinely open my mail, at least not without asking—but if she did because she had no issue with it, I’d live with it because I’d have nothing to hide.

I would be pretty annoyed if anyone opened mail addressed to me, including my husband. I can be picky about privacy issues like that, but not for any particular reason.

Then again, I’m not married yet, so I have no idea if I would eventually come to be indifferent… this is just speculation.

Fine by me as long as she doesn’t use MY letter opener.

I suppose I’ve never received anything in the mail that I wouldn’t be comfortable sharing with any of my loved ones. It’s hard for me to imagine being offended by my husband opening up a letter or a card, or obviously a bill. Of course I don’t want strangers or acquaintances opening my mail.. but I’m curious to know why some people feel differently.

We aren’t married or living together yet, but my SO has given me carte blanche to open his mail. When I take over the finances, I’ll open the bills, but anything personal will go untouched. It’s the same for his e-mail. We have each other’s passwords, but I wouldn’t dream of reading anything he receives.

@TheOnlyNeffie For me, it is because I know he’ll share any pertinent information with me. Also, I find it fun to open something personal…the actual tearing of the envelope to find the hidden treasure inside.

He doesn’t open my mail (why would he need to?) as I am capable of that,sometimes with my teeth ;)

@lucillelucillelucille it isn’t really a need, in our household anyhow. Whoever grabs the mail usually just sifts through it and opens as they go. I guess it doesn’t matter either way.. just never thought about it before. I find it interesting that some people do mind. Not bad, of course.. just interesting.

girlfriend no, wife no problem.

@TheOnlyNeffie -I know alot of people do that but I can’t imagine why he would want to open my business correspondence or anything personally addressed to me anyway.I like to open my own mail so that I can be organised and keep track of what I need to do,especially regarding my business.If I saw a letter that was opened (by him) I would assume it was taken care of and not bother.If he did that with my mail,I would kick his ass ;)

@lucillelucillelucille makes sense.

We both open bills and other non-personal mail addressed to each other.
We usually don’t open anything that looks personal or is unknown.
We try to respect each others privacy and the fact that opening your own mail can be satisfying and fun.

If I didn’t open my husband’s mail right now, it would just stack up for the year. When he is home, we usually open our own mail, but sometimes one of us will open all of it. It really doesn’t matter to us. We also have each others e-mail passwords and have checked each others e-mail in the past when requested to do so by the other. I don’t think either of us would do so without a really good reason though (such as a request from the other or if we knew there was a specific e-mail we were waiting for and it was only go to one of our e-mails).

@Seaofclouds, sounds like a good arrangement. I like it.

Only if he/she asks first and you say o.k. There are (or should be) boundaries in every marriage. Respect for anothers privacy, shouldn’t go away just because you are married.

I’m not married, but I wouldn’t open my SO’s mail. If we got married and it was a bill that we both paid, that happened to be in his name rather than both of ours, I would open it. Anything personal, no. I have no worries about trusting him and personal mail is personal. If I really wanted to know, like a letter came addressed in an unfamiliar hand or with a name I didn’t recognize, I might ask him about it, but I wouldn’t just open it. I’m sure he feels the same way. This is a man who won’t go into my purse for any reason, not even to get some aspirin if he has a headache. He’ll bring it to me. I don’t care, but he says some things you don’t share and a woman’s purse is one of them. I think he’d feel the same way about personal mail if I asked him.

I’ll open mail that is clearly a bill. Anything that I know is personal I leave for my hubby to open. But mistakes sometimes get made. Oh well. We have bigger problems than that lol.

I can’t remember the last time I got anything in the mail that was remotely personal. We don’t usually open each other’s mail out of disinterest, but I would not be upset if he did. However, we don’t usually look at each other’s e-mail unless requested to.

It wouldn’t bother me if my husband did that, i have nothing to hide or that i don’t want him to see. The fact of it being an issue hasn’t even crossed my mind.

I would be disappointed if I didn’t get to open a card or an invitation that was addressed only to me. I can’t imagine opening my husbands birthday cards that come in the mail. I think it’s important to respect each others “stuff”.

The only things I open that come in his name are bills. We have season tickets to our local hockey team and I don’t even open that, though he wouldn’t care. (It’s addressed to him.) Anything else that his name on it I leave for him. Anything with my name on it, he leaves for me, on the rare occasion that he picks up our mail. Would I be happy if he opened something addressed to me? Depends on what it is. Junk mail – eh. Card or letter from a friend, I would be disappointed but not mad. And I would wonder why because he just isn’t curious about personal things.

He can look through whatever he wants. He usually doesn’t open my mail and I don’t open his but if it was necessary, he can absolutely open and look so that he can tell me what it is.

Actually to put this into perspective, I have much more important things to get annoyed with him about, such as STOP SQUEEZING THE TOOTHPASTE TUBE IN THE MIDDLE! hehehehe

@rooeytoo Oh my gosh, I do that! and Alex can’t understand it…lol…he fixes all the toothpastes along the way.

Household bills, stuff addressed to us both, I wouldn’t care and it’s not been an issue in the past when I was married. Something addressed to like a greeting card or package then yeah, I want to open it first.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir – it’s just not right!

I don’t care. My partner and I open each others mail all the time. It’s usually just household bills anyway. I wouldn;t open anything with a handwritten envelope

The only mail issues I have is he lays it down every where. I have one spot I want the mail, and no where else. We don’t open what appears to be personal mail, but everything else is fair game.

I usually don’t open my husband’s mail because that was what I was taught. As a teen, I really appreciated the fact that it was considered a federal offense to open someone else’s mail…

Now I open bills and throw away credit apps in hubby’s name, but I don’t open his buisness stuff or anything personal. I doubt anyone would ever mail me something I wouldn’t want my husband to see (more private stuff would probably be shared through phone call or email.) It’s not a problem, but my husband is always puzzled why I don’t just open his cards and stuff. It’s just ingrained.

Happy? Nope.

But it would be something we’d have pre-determined.

Having given it more thought, if I had a “wife” to take care of me like I take care of others then YES, they can open whatever mail of mine they want!

Ok, your question really got under my skin. In a good, introspective way…

So, I can’t imagine being ok with someone else opening my mail and not feeling hugely violated, bill or otherwise. But I think, why would I want to marry someone that I didn’t feel comfortable with opening my mail? So mostly what I’ve come up with is that I fear the codependent relationship that is marriage (as I see it). GQ.