Would you marry if it was only to ensure someone else's happiness?

I wouldn’t I never ever want to marry, it’s way too much trouble, and doing so for such a fickle cause as the well-being of another would be ridiculous; I’m not sacrificing the rest of my free, happy life to help someone else. Selfish, I know, but I just refuse to do so.

No, that is crazy talk! I might try to find other ways to help them be happy, but certainly not marriage.

No. I’m not selfless enough to give up my life happiness just to cheer someone else up.

I will only marry someone for my happiness and the happiness of the person I am marrying. Outsiders have no say in it and they have no part in that decision. That is my and her business. No one elses.

Uh, no….

@Rubrica
I don’t think that’s selfish. You don’t owe it to anyone to radically change your life for any other reason than because you want to.
Marriage is a choice you need to consider carefully, and for the right reasons.

Let them get some freaking therapy, like everyone else with issues.

Yes, I was about to make such a move, but luckily my family got some sense into me. They had to literally get sick to try to wake me up. That issue still remains one of the sources of stress and confusion. I am NOT trying to appear as a saint/martyr, but I thought I owed it to him in some way. Very complicated story!

Nope. I consider marriage to be a big deal and it’s not something to enter into lightly (in my opinion). I take my vows very seriously and the only people whose happiness mattered in my marriage was mine and my husbands.

I’m not sure I understand your question.

Would I marry my partner because someone else is so in love with my partner that me marrying my partner would hammer it into the head of the someone else that my partner will never love the someone else back and us marrying will allow the someone else to move on and no longer be a nuisance to me and my partner?

Not unless my partner and I were already planning to marry in the first place. I’d kind of have to wonder if my partner were somehow encouraging or feeding into an obsession like this. Scary.

No. I would end up resenting them and then divorcing. I am much too selfish to marry someone for only their happiness.

No. It would be hurting myself and others. it would not really be ensuring the other person’s happiness.

@chyna nothing wrong with that because their has to mutual hapiness otherwise it won’t work.

So, there are persons A, B and C. The situation is that A dates B, and C is interested in B, but B is not interested in C, which results in C having health problems, which can only be resolved by A marrying B, yes?
Then, considering that A marrying B would be the natural course of events anyway, regardless of C’s situation, it would be natural to proceed with A marrying B, not because of C, but because that is the standard course of events, and C’s improvement in health would merely be a beneficial side effect.
Now A marrying B negatively affecting C would be an interesting scenario to ponder, but the original one really is a simple matter to resolve.

@ragingloli Thanks for that simple breakdown. :-)

@ragingloli Yes it is simple, but what if the relationship between A and B hasn’t progressed to that point yet? Should they get married just so that C will get better?

I don’t think they should. I think C should have no impact on their getting married either way (for the good of C or not) because their marriage should be based on their relationship and what they want out of the marriage, not based on helping someone else get over their infatuation of one of the people in the relationship.

If B says to A “Hey, let’s get married so C will stop liking me so much”, I personally wouldn’t say yes if I was A. I would want B to want to marry me for me and because they want to be with me in a marriage, not just to get rid of C.

No. I wouldn’t make a lifelong commitment based on the notion of another’s happiness. It makes no sense.

The worst reason to get married.

Not a chance.

I’m with @josie .

Absolutely not. My dad wanted me to marry a guy I once dated because his family had money. I married for love. We may not be rich in money but we’re rich in love.

A friend of mine from back in the days actually did this. She was dating a guy that she wasn’t really into by her own account. But then she found out that the guys ex-girl was still in love with him and pregnant & was trying to win him back. So my friend married him to spite the girl and to keep her from having him. They spent the next 16 yrs fighting, name-calling and being miserable and just recently she emailed me to tell me she finally got rid of his ass and found herself a real man. It’s not worth the stress to commit your life to someone you will end up detesting and holding accountable for all your unhappiness. They were the worst couple and I didn’t think they would last this long. I would be over their house and be witness to the worst behavior between them. Physical abuse, cheating, total disrespect towards him by her in my presence. She never seemed happy with him. The poor shlep didn’t know what he was doing wrong. He was completely oblivious that he had been nothing more than a pawn to get back at his ex.

@ragingloli Well, actually, A and B weren’t dating in the first place.

@Rubrica
”Perhaps the “someone” is so deeply in love with your new partner”

How else was I supposed to interpret that?

Sorry, I realise that’s a little vague in retrospect; what I meant was that they are your new partner now, because of the fact that they love them. Or something…

No, because if I’m not happy and the other person is, then they don’t deserve my sacrifice. So basicly it all comes down to…both parties would be better off if they were mutually happy.

That’s a good question.
Some people may marry someone to ensure his happiness,some may not.
Those that would do it,I think they’re insecure or somethin like that.But maybe the one they should marry to make happy,it’s a friend,and he/she would marry him/her just because they’re friends and he/she cares about her/his feelings and wouldn’t want to broke his/her heart.Honestly,I wouldn’t do it,even if it would be my best friend,beacuse if there’s no love..i couldn’t live,kiss with somebody I don’t love. :)

Depends who it is.

I can not ensure anyone else’s happiness, nor can anyone ensure mine. We each must find our own happiness, and hope to find a partner who has found their own happiness. I have done so, and we do plan to marry – not because it will change anything about our feelings for each other, but because it entitles us to certain privileges under the law.