How can I make up for losing his ring?

If it can’t be found, you’ll have to fess up, and definitely buy a new one… perhaps a better one, if he’d like that? Just explain to him exactly as you did to us. While he may be disappointed, I’m sure he’ll understand that you treasure the ring and wouldn’t have lost it on purpose. The very fact that it was in your pocket points to that. Good luck in your search!

by being honest with him… you never know you and he might be able to find the ring together… this reminds me of William Shakespeare Othello…where Desdemona lost Othello’s Handkerchief…and Othello had it the whole time and I like @augustlan‘s advice on buying him a new one… or you could check your town’s lost and found centers for the ring… good luck on your search

@talljasperman Unfortuneatly, we can’t really find the ring together, as he’s in New Hampshire, USA and I’m in Washington. But I do plan on being completely honest with him. The Othello thing is funny, though hopefully he doesn’t have it!

@augustlan Buying a better one is a great idea! Thank you for the good luck!

It’s the sentiments that matter. Maybe you could make a small scrapbook or something for him, fill it with your memories of him and get a few friends to contribute. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just show him that you value what the ring represented. On the last page, you could have the apology. Just an idea. Just an apology may be all that’s needed.

@zophu Thanks for the advice! And you are right about the sentiments, which is why I’m particularily concerned about losing it. Unfortuneatly, neither of us really are picture-taking people, so there wouldn’t be much to scrapbook. But you are right, it’s a good idea to show him that I value what the ring represented and that an apology is necessary.

Personally I think you should move on and NOT buy a new one. Ask anyone who’s been out of school for a few years… school rings end up in a box in the back of the closet. Nobody in college would be caught dead wearing a high school ring, and nobody in the real world wants to appear stuck in their college days. I’d suggest taking him out to dinner instead.

@GeorgeGee That’s true that he probably won’t wear it again, but I think it’s more of a sentimental thing for him. And you’re right, he’ll likely never wear it in college. I’ll talk to him and see if he wants the replacement before I order a new one, otherwise it’d be a waste. Thank you!

Send him the link to this fluther question and ask him what he would want if it were his girlfriend asking?

I’m old. And the one thing I have learned in my life is that when you screw up it is best to admit that you did it without making excuses and then apologize. 99% of the time people will forgive you.

Or make it sound like you are pregnant and have something big to share that might be distressing. And then just tell him you lost the ring. I would go with the first option.

@Blueroses Haha, that’s a good idea. Though I’m not too sure he’d be very plussed.

@johnpowell Thank you for your experienced advice! And I sure hope he’ll forgive me. We’ve been together for a year tomorrow (fantastic timing, of course…) so I’m 99% sure he will.
And I actually considered calling him up and exaggerating the size of the problem before telling him what it was, but that’s not the mature way to handle it, unfortuneatly, so your first option is the best, like you said. Besides, considering he’s been away for a few months now, I think he’d be very alarmed if I gave him the impression I was pregnant, haha, considering that would mean a) I’d been hiding it so long, b) it wasn’t his, and c) I was turning into the Virgin Mary, as I’ve never had sex before.

@MNCgirl :: I gave a girlfriend some jewelry that had a bit of sentimental value once. It was earrings that my grandma gave me and she forget them in a hotel and we are pretty sure the maid swiped them. I was bummed but I wasn’t mad. Everybody forgets/loses stuff. And to be honest I knew once I gave them to her I pretty much gave up the right to ever see them again. She forgot them or we could haven broken up. Either way they were gone and I knew that.

@johnpowell That’s a very interesting way to see it. Hopefully he can understand that the same way you do! I’m a very forgetful person and my boyfriend is usually very understanding of that, luckily. The fact that class rings can get pricey, though, is part of the issue. I think his was around $300. Since it was so expensive, it makes me feel worse about losing it, especially if I don’t replace it.

He may be more open to you replacing his high school ring with a college ring when he graduates. He might actually wear the college ring.

Revisit every place that you went the day you lost it and ask if it was found.

Contact his school and find out the name of the company that manufactured the ring. Then contact them about getting a replacement.

Only after you can detail your efforts at finding it and replacing it, tell him about losing it.

I had the exact same situation. my girlfriend, back in 1962, went to wash her hands and left my ring on the sink in the theatre. it was gone forever. was i mad? absolutely, since my parents paid for it and i had to explain the situation to them. here is the kicker. many, many years later, a 3X5 card was posted on the Ford Glass Plant bulletinboard in Nashville. a friend of mine worked there and called me. he saw my initials inside the ring and knew it was lost back in 1962. i identified the ring and it was mine!! unbelievable.

Point here is this might just happen to you. not to give up hope. i would at least offer to replace the ring or replace it without his knowledge. technically, you are responsible for replacing the ring. i did not ask my then girlfriend to replace my ring. she was truly heartbroken and it took me a year to convince her that it was okay.

Fess up and tell him the truth.

Just in case the ring can be found – it may not be totally ‘lost’ only mislaid – try asking St Anthony for help. No need to get weird about it, or pray vehemently, just a quick request with help in finding the ring, if it can be found. Don’t ask with help ‘looking’ for it, that could go on forever…!

I’d like to say this only works sometimes, but actually, it always works for me and for my Husband. Something to do with distraction maybe – while asking and thinking of the thing, the place it might be just becomes apparent!

Failing that, admit to the loss. Your own concern about it is enough to show how much you care. Possessions are temporary anyway and the feelings between you are far more important!

Have you checked the car or with any transport system you used to run errands? Sitting in a vehicle, especially wearing a seatbelt, could work it out of a pocket.

Hurrah! I have found the ring- it was in one of the store’s dressing rooms. Thank you very much to everyone for advice!

Hurrah is right! great news. just be a little more careful, next time.

@MNCgirl Thanks for the update. I’m so glad it’s all worked out!

@augustlan @john65pennington Thank you! And I’m glad it worked out—I’ll be much more careful from now on, either keeping it on the chain or putting it in a zipped pocket.

I lost a small but important ring in a compost heap once, it appeared a year later in the lawn! Congrats on getting back the ring, very best wishes for you and your boyfriend!