Will boys like me if i'm more feminine?

Are you comfortable in your style? It sounds to me like you are just not hanging with the right type of boys… based on your description of yourself, if we were to meet I would saw we would be great together.

Your friend cares about you or she wouldn’t be offering advice. Unfortunately, she is wrong. There is nothing more attractive than people who are comfortable being themselves. Your style and interest may be a bit out of the norm of the stereotypical female, but you are more likely to attract the type of guys who find you classy in your own way.

Alot of guys like girls that are natural and your lifestyle seems you would have a lot in common, dear. Don’t change a thing. Don’t change for noone, be yourself. Be happy. Oh! Welcome to Fluther, by the way.

I should think that tons of boys would share your interests. You may not always want to be better than them at it though. I had a boyfriend who loved to take me hunting until I proved better at it and then it didn’t have the appeal of showing me his machismo anymore. I’m not saying to deflate your skills…just don’t flaunt the fact you can probably pick a hummingbird out of a flower bush 200 yards away.
And just for the record…all males may have proclivities towards soft, feminine, blond and frail looking but it’s only genetic. Most of them get over it and look for competence. Stay who you are. I know alot of older fellas who would rather have a female warrior princess than a powder puff anyday!

Be who you are or you’ll only attract the kind of guys that will bore you to tears!

Be yourself. You sound adorable and sound like you are comfortable in your own skin and do not need to be fake. The boys you like will like you.

Ain’t gonna lie: femininity in a female is attractive.

she’s being annoying, guys who respects you and perhaps enjoys a little competition in “manliness” will be coming around, expect them within the next three years.

btw, .22 is weak, its all about S&W .40, lol

My dear girl, don’t let anyone advise you on how you should be/look. Be yourself—that will attract the boys. I guarantee it.

Some boys might, but there are plenty of others who appreciate the active, tomboy type. Actually, you may have a better chance of getting into a relationship because you will have more shared interests in common with the guys you like.

Some boys might, but they will be attracted to the image not to you.

Just be yourself, and you will find someone that likes you for who you are, not what you pretend to be.

@Winters it ain’t the size of the hole the bullet makes, but where it makes the hole that counts. There was a time when the WR grizzly bear was taken with a .22LR.

@WestRiverrat yeah, yeah, yeah, I am well aware when it comes to shoot to kill (which is one of the things that I may or may not be paid to do within the next 2 and a half years depending on my branch choice) the placement of the round is what matters, like you don’t shoot a wild hog in the shoulder, unless you want a very pissed warthog chasing you with a death wish (good memories). however when it comes to incapacitating someone and all you have is a handgun, the S&W .40 is the best to put someone into hydrostatic shock, which is much faster than waiting for the target to bleed out for a bit. Sometimes you need them alive, unfortunately. And it just feels good in my hand, wish I could use it instead of the 9mm M9.

(I apologize for this being off topic)

@Winters, I’m fourteen. U seriously don’t need to get all defensive and stuff it’s a question about boys. The guidelines say to stay on topic so DO IT. I totally admire you for defending our country if that’s what you’re talking about in your branch of choice thing but honestly it sounds like you are threatening people. Plus i am AWESOME with a .22 so I’ll shoot that if I want. I shoot for the competition and to kick the butts of other kids my age at it. Not to kill anything. If thats the goal I’ll use an AK-47 duh.

@Spidermanrulezzz While I think being yourself is the best course of action, learning how to be feminine won’t hurt.

You may run into a guy you want to be feminine for. There is no reason you can’t learn both, then you will be ready for whatever comes along.

Finding the right balance is the hard part.

If you are not naturally feminine, then you shouldn’t try to appear to be. I grew up as a tomboy most of my life, and trying to pretend to be more feminine didn’t fool anybody. Some boys are attracted to the values they see on TV, some are attracted by a more realistic person.

Most boys I know are attracted to someone who knows how to have fun and who enjoys being with them.

Hahaha, I apologize that it seemed I came off as threatening and defensive, just a little bit of a gun nerd and couldn’t resist defending my sweet S&W .40 (and I now have a sudden urge to cap on the AK, lol).

But back to the topic (with all seriousness). I’ve known a couple girls like you, and my suggestion along with the others that have answered, is be who you are, don’t change just for the sake of trying to attract boys, it’s really not worth the effort. They’ll eventually pop up, as I said, within the next three years probably, and from what I’ve seen with the girls I’ve known that seem similar to you from what I understand from your question, it’ll probably be either male friend you may have currently or another guy that you know who has similar tastes as you.

And as you made clear to me, you are a fourteen year old girl, having only one boyfriend so far is not something to be ashamed about at all (then again, despite me being 19 right now, the thought of anyone under the age of 15 being in a boyfriend girlfriend relationship seems little weird/awkward/peculiar to me). Having a few but long relationships shows that you are capable of steady, stable relationships, which is a lot better than having many but short relationships that simply show you’re controlled by your hormones and not the other way around. It’s the quality and not the quantity (as with anything) of relationships that should matter.

Don’t buy the “learn to be feminine” bit.

You are what you are, Revel in it. Don’t try to change yourself for anyone. It doesn’t work. Yeah, you might attract more boys by play-acting- but so what? It isn’t quantity, it’s quality.

@Winters

Hah, we crossed in the mail! Or something like that.

On the other hand, if you want to be more feminine, go for it.

Also, what is “more feminine”?

Usually, it’s stuff designed to turn you into a stupid, helpless sex object. Think about things that are considered “feminine”- dresses, makeup, acting dumb and helpless, flirting. Ugh.

@crisw The “acting dumb and helpless” business is the puppeteer’s hand. :|

@Nullo @crisw yeah, that acting dumb and helpless = the Siren’s song.

@Spidermanrulezzz if you do become desperate for a boyfriend, the acting dumb and helpless is almost a guarantee to at least snag one or two guys.

Just be yourself, why bother trying to be what you are not… put the shoe on the other foot and imagine what it would be like to find that the boy you were interested in wasn’t actually who he pretended to be… life takes enough energy as it is without attempting to be who we are not… teenage is such a steep learning curve :)

Be yourself.

@xxii Sometimes that is not actually the best advice. People should be what they want to be, which might be something other than they are now.

At 14 you shouldn’t even be worried about boys liking you right now. Trust me, at your current age nothing good will come from having a boyfriend. Concentrate on schooling right now. Just be yourself. If you change what makes you happy about yourself to begin with just to please other people it will come back to bite you later on in life.

There are many guys that actually admire down to earth women who are intelligent and not “girly”. Think about what is best for you and not about fitting some stupid label. Stay off of most of these dating advice forums that further encourage women/girls to be stupid and not think for themselves. You can only be yourself, there is nothing else.

@Paradox In some cultures, 14 is the proper age for getting married.

@Nullo yes, but those are arranged marriages for the most part, nothing in common with dating.

@Winters @Nullo In some countries, ie, Muslim countries, 14 is way too old to be getting married. Under 10, even under 6 is preferred….to grown men in their 20s, of course.

Thank God girls can be their own person in a free country and it’s one of the many reasons we should keep it free.

@Winters A hundred and fifty years ago in this very nation, 14 was an acceptable age.

Don’t change who you are. It usually doesn’t work and you’ll end up hating yourself/others.

If you want to attract boys who don’t like you or your style, then change to be more attractive to them. If, on the other hand, you want to attract someone who actually likes you for who you are are, then wait and they will come along, as there are plenty of boys out there who aren’t attracted by the more feminine ideal. And remember, there are some girls who always attract boys, and then there are some who become women and then attract men.

The same men who are telling you to be more feminine are the ones who want to go on and on about how men and women are so different, now here they are confronted with a female who has what could be called stereotypical male interests and they want you to change them. It’s a bunch of baloney, be who you are, do what you want and don’t worry about boys. When you run into a male who is secure with his masculinity he will not care if your interests are “feminine” or not. He will like you for who you are and not be intimidated by you.

@meiosis

“And remember, there are some girls who always attract boys, and then there are some who become women and then attract men.”

Wow, that is a wonderful. and very true, line. I just wanted to point that out.

You sound HOT the way you are.

Be yourself, nothing’s sexxxier.

If you act differently, you might attract more guys, sure.
But you’re going to attract guys that like that. Not guys that like you. What good does it do you if they’re attracted to something that you’re not?

Be yourself. You’re into hobbies that typically guys enjoy. You will never have any issues with not being able to find men who’re your “type”. You won’t have troubles with not being able to understand them.

@Nullo May I remind you that the Civil War ended 145 years ago? 150 years ago it was acceptable to own slaves. Sometimes, it’s best to not talk about the ways of the past.

@Sarcasm That doesn’t mean that all of the ways of the past are bad, you know. That line of yours is as good as a reductio ad Hitlerum. Just sayin’.

Not to be rude or anything, but she did ask that responses remain more or less on topic, just saying.

I gave you a suggestin some time ago. I’m sorry but I cannot keep being biased by the inital post.

Are you being yourself, the only thing you can be, try me.

I understand the whole less than feminne yet no less a woman mentality.

Talk to me.

- Noel S