How much of the parenting you do to your own children is consciously different then the parenting you got from your parents, and how much is similar?

I stick to a lot of the same methods that my own parents used, but there are a few situations that I have and will be approaching differently.

My children recently came of age and went off to college and the future. I pretty much copied my father, since he was a pretty cool guy. The only thing I conciously did different than my dad was tone down my language a little bit. My dad was the classic “bad ass with a heart of gold” ...sort of like the guys Clint Eastwood always plays. But he used pretty course language at times, and I cleaned up my own act for the sake of my children.

I have consciously tried to do the opposite of my parents in most things. However, in times of stress, I find, to my chagrin, that I revert back to some of the things that they did or said.

I have done many things drastically different than the way my parents did them. I have not forced my children to attend a church that taught them fear and hate from the earliest age. I have taught my children by example that violence solves nothing. My children know to never bully others or mock them for their race, creed, sex, sexual orientation, or anything that makes them seem different from the norm. My children are learning to respect themselves and hopefully even love themselves. They are not afraid to show emotions.

I’m afraid I could go on a very long time on this question, but I don’t want to. It’s too depressing.

There’s a lot I try to do differently. We kiss and hug our children. I never got that growing up. We try not to sneer and make our children feel ashamed for not knowing something. We actually tell them we love them. Novel idea, eh? We try to make sure they understand that we will love them no matter what; no matter who they are; no matter what they do.

My parents believed in putting their children through college and that is something I plan to do for my kids, too.

I make such an effort to do it differently! My mother was very negative. I feel a negative comment bubbling up in me and get the plunger and push it down.

I did no spanking what-so-ever, and I encouraged them to exercise their imaginations. My Mother hated imagination and regularly disparaged it.

95% different than my parents. I did a LOT of thinking before I had kids about how I was going to raise them because my mom was extreme in discipline.

I think I did a lot the same way as my father did. With love and patience and by trying to understand them and connect. And some things like my mother. Being firm and consistant. But my approach was somewhat different. I attact being a mom the way a person attacts being a professional. I read a lot and would impliment different things if my parents methods were not effective.
I didn’t look at it as just a job but the most important job I would ever have and under no circumstance could I fail them because they were relying on me to get things right.
I made sure to know them so well that they had no problems comming to me for advice.
And they knew they were both always very wanted even though they were not planned. They are blessings in my life and I still remind them often, even thought they are grown.
I would also always tell them, when we would cool down from an arguement that I love them very much and always will.
I do not have that kind of close relationship with my mom as they both have with me.

Yes, my parents were very slack, and my wife’s parents were strict in the extreme. We have consciously tried to be like neither of them, and strike a balance. I think it has largely worked, although we are far from perfect.