What is the best sewing joke that you know?

Um I don’t know any really but I know a cliche. I would say“Sooo” She would respond “Sew buttons on your under wear.” Grandma used to say that. LOL. Oldie but goodie. I know I am pathetic that is the only thing I could think of. I am not good at jokes.

A recent study has shown that fabrics give off a certain pheromones that hypnotize women and cause them to purchase more and more and more until they become addicted.

This question?

1. Always buy fabric no matter how much you
already have
2. Sew All Day and All Night absolutely no
cooking allowed
3. Use a lot of spit for tiny droplets of blood, this
always makes the quilt personal
4. Always start a new quilt before the last one is
finished, this requires you to go back to step # 1

Honestly, never heard many sewing jokes. I’ve told by upper management once that I should stick to the subject and not be a stand up comedian….well, this is one time, I can’t think of “nuttin”...

I’m not much of a comedian. My jokes are sew-sew.

Sewing joke? Are you kidding?
What is funny about sewing?
And if so, sew what?

…then the woman said, “No, you’re sitting on my thimble.”

This is about the best I can come up with:-

Angus Broon of Glasgow comes to the little lady of the house, exclaiming, “Maggie, cud ya be sewin’ on a wee button that’s come off of me fly? I canny button me pants.”

“Oh, Angus, . . . I’ve got me hands in the dishpan right now. Go up the stairs and see if Mrs. MacDonald could be helpin’ ya with it.”

About five minutes later, there’s a terrible crash, a bang, a bit of yelling and the sound of a body falling down the stairs. Walking back in the door with a blackened eye and a bloody nose, comes Angus. The little lady looks at him and says, “My God, what in hell’s name happened to YOU? Did you ask her like I told you?”

“Aye,” says Angus. “I asked her to sew on the wee button an’ she did. Everything was goin’ fine, but when she bent doon to bite off the wee thread, Mr. MacDonald walked in….”

Here is another one:-

What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly? Try sewing buttons on a mosquito!

I’m a wizard with the needle,
and a master of the cloths,
but my crocheting is feeble,
and my silkworms have unfortunately metamorphosed into moths…

Q: What is a seam ripper?
A: Jack’s cousin.