Should one help a group of people who hurt him/her in the past?

Well… The question is pretty vague, because there are a lot of variables to consider.

However, if the abuse was horrible, I myself would probably not help.

Yes. The question is extremely vague but without further details I guess I would say you have to decide whether you want to be a better person than any of them are or were. Are they all equally guilty? You talk about current and past generations… if you didn’t help would you be refusing to help babies and children who had nothing to do with what happened to you?

I would think it depends on emotions completely. If the person decides not to take action in order to take revenge on the group, this is what should (or probably did) happen. On the other hand, if the person is a “future thinker”, he/she might have other plans and help the group.

Sort of time heals all wounds [rather than going the route of it wounds all heels]—I have helped and befriended the ex-wife of my former lover even though made life difficult for me then as an ex-wife, not a then-current one, but that was many years ago. Sometimes just surviving to re-meet each other many years later changes the playing field. Why not help? How can it hurt your karma?

It really depends on the person and what effect helping the group will have on them. If helping the group is going to be detrimental, I think he should do what they need to do to take care of himself. If helping the group could possibly help him, then I think he should help if he feels like he is emotionally up to it.

Are you talking about Joseph whose brothers beat him up and sold him into slavery? Then he became a trusted advisor to the Pharoah and when their country fell under a seven year drought and famine he had the power to help them or not and they didn’t know it was him?
Just wonderin’.

I agree with the Biblical instruction on this.

Matthew 5:43–48 43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shall love thy neighbor, and hate your enemy. 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he makes his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? 47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? 48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

Becoming no better than your enemy only perpetuates the evil

I can’t tell you Exactly, but lets say it’s something like: the current generation, growing up and having to take on all the problems that have been handed down to them. Or a swimmer who was never put on the team because of the way he looks [face], but now he has invented a new suit that makes you swim faster. (if it’s still vague, I’m sorry, that’s the best I can do)

@Trillian no sorry, I don’t know that story. I’m gonna look it up right now.

If I were in the that position I would leave then and try and enjoy the rest of my life and also try to ignore those people. They have made my life bad enough.

To withhold help in order to punish the group would be wrong, IMO. But, if helping the group would actively harm the individual, refusing would be just fine. One is no good to others, if one is damaging oneself. So:

Would the person actually have to spend the rest of his/her life helping the group? Meaning, that’s all the person can do with his remaining time? If so, that’s a huge sacrifice to make, even for a group that hasn’t harmed you. I don’t think I’d be up to that task.

However, if I could do something to help the group that wouldn’t irrevocably harm me or eat up the entire rest of my days, I would do it.

If the group consists of exactly the same individuals as were involved in the original abandonment, I would choose not to help. However if the group has changed and there are now new people in it, then I’d be more inclined to help.

But they would sure as hell owe me a BIG favour.

Help hurts, love sucks. That being said, this person has a chance to redeem his/her self to the group and play savior, thus possibly gaining some prestige. It does matter what kind of group this is and what him/her willing be promoting, based only upon his/hers moral compass. Though the fact that you said him/her made me wonder if this was based on a real situation.

Without details, its hard to say.

How much pain did the group cause the individual?
How much will the group suffer if the individual doesn’t help?
How much of a sacrifice is it for the individual?
Will the group continue to hurt others if the individual helps?
Will the group recognize what its done and either a) make amends or b) change its ways?
How much influence does the group have on those outside the group?

Overall, I’d like to say its best to forget the past and forge on to a better future… but thats also just a broad statement.

You are the only one who can answer this question. Two questions to ask yourself: “Would more good come from my helping this group than not helping them?” And, “What sort of mark do I want to leave on this planet?” Each of us leaves our mark on the world. Mine will be the good I did in the lives I touched as a civilian, and the lives I saved as an infantry officer. Those actions of mine will reverberate down the years in the offspring of all those people ( including my own offspring ); not a bad mark to leave.

But if the cost is going to be too high for you, creating resentment and bad feelings through the years, you could actually wind up doing more harm than good. This is why I say that you are the only one who can answer this question.

Good luck, and I hope you make the right decision for you.

What an awesome situation to be in, this guy/gal is the only one who can save this group from imminent destruction, and their the ones that dicked him. Perfect situation to make a power play, to establish a toe hold into this group and hang a few of them out to dry in the process. The question is, how to do that. This group that dicked him or her, at least we should know if it’s a him or her, yeesh, this group, needs to pay, but the best way for them to do that is for them to realize they need this guy or girl, then he can see where he or she, fits into this whole thing, and to hopefully find ways to make it last for maximum benefit. But he-she must also realize, that this group ultimately will not except them, and not to mistake tolerance for acceptance in this period of give and take. So leaving oneself an out would be prudent.

It sounds like the plot of many movies and books. Yes, I think the person should help the group with an eye toward changing their attitudes towards others like him or herself.

What would the Sacrifice” be in helping? That would probably be the big question that I would need to know before I answered.
I’m invisioning someone who broke away from a group of Gypsy thieves and now the patriarch is going to prison for a crime he didn’t commit unless you provide a real alabi.

I like what @truecomedian wrote: … (do) not mistake tolerance for acceptance in this period of give and take…
Will the sacrifice of the rest of the life be valued beyond the action? The odds are against it.

I would not waste my time. If someone hurt me like that and then abondoned me and then needed my help. I would say screw you! I sure as hell would not waste whats left of my life to fix those idiots problems.

I say go for it, being a hero.