How do you and your SO groom each other?

I don’t advise my husband, nor does he advise me. We’re independent enough to take care of ourselves in that way. Presents from each other, of course, there is obvious influence.

My wife helps me with fashion and looking better when I dress up. I’m not so good at picking those kinds of things and she is. Other than that nothing stands out. I have been taking care of her 24/7 for over a year now because she has been so sick. I had to bathe her and all else she has needed including feeding her from a tube that was in her small intestine but now she is getting strong enough to care for herself. So things are getting back to normal again.

Occasinally we take a shower together, that’s about the extent of it. It feels great for someone to scrub your back once in a while. We help each other with the weight, or try to.

sometimes I pick crumbs of food out of his beard… lol

He will very rarely ask me for advice on a tie and I will – very rarely – ask him if something looks o.k., but other than that, we groom ourselves. My Mom had to cut my Dad’s toenails after a certain point and I hope we don’t come to that. The question conjured up images of bonobo chimps, for some reason.

After being married to someone for 45 years, you become one person. sure, i still have my ways and she has hers, but its a team effort now and not individualism.

Wife mostly buys my clothes. she does this, because it makes her feel good and besides, she loves to shop. thats okay with me. she tells me when i need a haircut and i tell her when she has root rot. she does the laundry and i help fold the clothes. taking a shower is done daily, so this is not a problem.

Ahhhhh…........45 years.

I tuck in his tag when it escapes the back of his shirt, and I remove the occasional stray eyelash from his face. I let him know if he has something stuck in his teeth. He does each of those things for me, as well. We each usually wear the fragrance the other most appreciates. I also pick fuzzies and my hairs off of his shirt.

I buy my husband’s clothes, cut his toenails, trim his beard, trim his ear hairs, and lots of other things. He never ask me to do these things, I just wanted to…I spoil my husband. For me, my husband gives me anything I want (within reason).

We have zero boundaries with each other. We pop each other’s pimples, we deal with each others’ ear wax or dandrfuff or teeth plaque, if necessary. We’ve been in some ways in places where I don’t think other people would go, lol, but that’s why we’re together.

We groom each other without being persnickety or rude about anything. We pick out clothes for each other (and may I say my hubby has fabulous taste in what would look good on me) and we buy each other colognes and perfumes that we like. We help each other pick out new shoes. My hubby loves buying me pretty new pajamas and nail polishes, too.

When it comes to body grooming, he knows when it’s time to trim his brows and such, but I have helped him cut his hair or totally shave his head if that’s what he wants at the time. He has gotten in the bathtub with me to shave my legs for me before. He lit candles and turned off the lights and brought me wine, then shaved my legs. It was actually pretty romantic and sensual, when everything was said and done.

We enjoy picking the lice from each other’s hair—we get a snack in addition to some intimate contact.

I have a habbit of scanning over my husband’s face and hair and often start preening him unconsciously. I have to try to balance my habbit and being over critical. I tend to be more critical than he is, but I don’t want to be, it’s just something I do naturally when looking at him….. I certainly don’t want to be perceived as being naggy.

I point out his out-of-control nose hairs, unibrow hairs, hairs he missed shaving, and I cut his hair when he asks. Funny, I never realized I focused so much on hair before answering this question!

But I have to be tolerant of his feedback too when he notices a faint tint of upper lip hair :/

Usually, my husband will just ask if something goes with the other thing he’s picked out. For me, he makes sure I don’t walk out with post-it notes stuck to me. I’ve walked out with one on my butt before, he tries…I think…to prevent that from happening.

About the same way you and I do.

My SO will lovingly scrub me in the shower and massage me with lotion but that’s about it. I’m sure if I asked then he’d do just about anything he felt I’d appreciate or think he did well but most of the stuff he sees as “girl stuff” and thinks I do a really go job already.

I groom him a lot, lovingly and he likes it enough to ask for it. Here’s a list of usuals:

I do buy him shirts, shoes, ties and colognes.
I do pluck “wolf hairs” from his body.
I do clean his ears (he lurves this)
I do clip and file his nails.
I do scrub him clean and massage him with lotion.
I do color his hair.
I do clear blemishes from his skin.
I do trim/buzz the love jungle.
I do his laundry and organize his clothes.

He sees this as spoiling and so do I, I enjoy it and he enjoys it so no harm done, no imposition made.

This is a brilliant and daft question – I’ve just laughed my way through all the other answers..!

Guess I’m with @Simone_De_Beauvoir really, no boundaries, partly from necessity. Hubby has Aspergers and is very keen on self-grooming and doing the laundry. I help him choose clothes. When I first met him he had one pair of shoes – yellow trainers – that were too long for him and resembled bananas. He looks rather more stylish nowadays.

I have MS, so he has helped me shower a few times. I cut his hair as it saves money, keeps him tidy and my hands in use; which helps us both. I think ‘independence’ is a bit over-rated, physical closeness is very human. If there is some mutual care within a relationship, it can make things easier when necessity strikes and calls for more.

@janbb‘s comment about Bonobos made me hoot – toenails are strictly out of bounds between us two!

We rides our bikes through the car wash and the spray wax rinse at the end seals in that squeaky clean feeling. ;)