Why aren't parents required to take a parenting class?

No the more we try and make everyone conform to requirements the less freedom we enjoy. It is getting out of hand how much control we are allowing government to take in our lives.

How could this possibly be enforced, logistically?

I think we need good criteria for who parenting class are mandatory and optional. I’m a strong supporter of mandatory classes for parents who can’t do their job right. But how can we agree on criteria? Just brainstorming here:

Criminal record, drug habit, high school drop out, excessive debt, divorced more than 2 times…

@Likeradar – I would introduce an incentive-based system such as tax breaks or extra vouchers for people depending on welfare.

If it were taught in school, that would cover most potiential parents. There were classes about children in Home Ec. back in the day.
I do not believe in the US gov. telling anyone how to child rear, that is just wrong.
Getting in a persons business that close. Not unless requested anyway.

I’m with @JustmeAman. Who is going to pay for it and who is going to enforce it?

Are we talking about how to change a diaper, or how to discipline a child? What type of skills will be taught?

Not everyone would agree with the way my husband and I disciplined our children, but they have turned out to be smart, loving and thoughtful children. If someone else had told us how to discipline them, they could be snotty brats right now. No thanks.

Because it represents a costly intrusion into our personal lives, and offers the government far too much control over our young people.
We get our norms and values from our parents. These classes would essentially become efforts to instill whatever values happen to be popular with the institution at the time. Right now, those would all very likely be at odds with conservative values.

I wouldn’t have issues with a voluntary practical course – nutrition, health and safety, etc.

If I ruled the world I’d make a license necessary before you could have sex. 10 1-hour courses that covered:. STDs, Birth control, Drug abuse, Parenting classes, Financial planning, Education, etc….

Oh, and you can take the classes when you reach the legal age for your state.
Good thing I’m not in charge. 98% of us would be in violation.
(I’m only 75% kidding…)

Ooohh, I like @Nullo ‘s idea of the Nutrition class.

My husband and I were worried we wouldn’t be good parents so we enrolled in a class on parenting. He had been abused and I had suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury. Once the other people in the class found out that we, as of yet, were not parents, we began to feel unwelcome as EVERYONE else was taking the class due to court orders. It turns out that I am not able to have kids and we doubt that we would be aproved as foster or adoptive parents, so we aren’t going to persue either avenue. I don’t know if a class would be a solution because of reasons already discussed. No one likes to be told that they are unable to do something and where would we draw the line? In the perfect world people would think about their ability to parent and decide but who are we to decide for other people?

I think offering a parenting class to everyone is a wonderful idea. I would love to see a class in high school that has a section on relationships, communication, parenting, money matters, basic ettiquette like shaking hands, and how to hold a fork and knife, basic life skills. But, requiring a parenting class is a different thing, there have been discussions on fluther about requiring a license to be a parent.

Fostering a child is different than having your own children, because you will be responsible for someone elses child.

In general, I consider something like that to be intrusive. But if it were allowed, what would this parenting class entail?

the right to pro create is considered an innate right.. got sex organs…. will have babies….

Well, bottom line is that it is none of the states flippin’ business how one chooses to raise their children. I find it most unfortunate that many seem to think that citizens are subjects of the state, when it is, in fact, the state who is subservient to the will of the citizenry.

Of course the state should (and does) step in in cases of abuse and neglect. However, this is quite a different thing from state mandated parenting rules.

Parenting classes are an excellent idea but in the U.S. we’re still pretending that you can’t make people do things they don’t want to do. But even parenting classes puts the cart before the horse. Relationship classes should be a part of social studies (is that still in the curriculum?) beginning in the sixth grade. A foundation in how to relate and have healthy relationships is the beginning of not only being a good parent, but having good relationships in general.

I’d like to know exactly who thinks they know the “rules” well enough to teach a class. I’ve never met two people who agree wholeheartedly on how to raise a child. We have been raising children since the beginning of our existence.. suddenly people need classes?

@YoBob well said.

I think Keanu Reeves put it best in 1989’s Parenthood:

Tod: You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car – hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they’ll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.

Yeah, but who is “they?” Nature, God? Making babies is viewed as a natural right. It is not in the same category as driving a car.

Sad time in life when we have to be taught how to raise our children.

Not saying that we do not learn those skills from example. I guess with no one home to care for the children, there is less of an example.

But still… Handing over that responsibility of to the “system” to handle. You would eventually loose most if not all your rights.

@YoBob It’s weird how quickly people tend to forget that they’re not subjects.

@Nullo Yep, for many it is a whole lot more comforting to think that the “nanny state” is going to care for you from cradle to grave rather than having to take responsibility for your own life.

@YoBob @Nullo I think related to this Q people are not saying they want the government to take care of someone in lieu of people taking personal responsibility; but rather, people concerned that some parents are not well equipped to raise their children. No one here seems to be suggesting the government provide for parents or children, you are twisting things.

I think a license should be required to raise children. There are so many unfit useless people out there having babies left and right. Then ..those children get abused, neglected, passed around, used, etc. In saying that, I’m also not saying that requiring a child rearing license would rid us of the problems I listed. But I certainly think it would help tremendously.

How would this happen or work? I have no idea. And I know it would be a massive stab in “human rights” ..so most would be opposed of such a thing (although the future children of these bad parents have no choice in the matter). I guess I don’t view it as government control in a sense ..I see it more as planning our future.

But, with anything such as this, there are huge risks involved. It may push us in the direction of breeding perfect children ..eugenics. Intellectually, I guess humanity probably isn’t ready for such a leap (child rearing licenses). Ex: the movie Gataca.

So, yeah.. not sure really. But it would have to be done with extreme care.

Ooops… I mispelled the movie. It’s Gattaca.

I feel that people should get parenting classes, we hear about so many mistakes that parents do and I don’t see nothing wrong with that. Especially new parents… When I had my first daughter the hospital brought a nurse in and she taught me a few things, like handling a baby, and being careful with the head and for sure the neck, the basic things, and the importance of burping which I have heard many people have forgotten and the baby died, so I think its a subject that should be brought…just my thought

@JLeslie I certainly have no objection what so ever to the availability of parenting classes. In fact, I think they are a great idea. What I object to is the implication that they should be mandatory.

@YoBob we agree on that point.

I would love to see a life-skills class such as @JLeslie described, taught in middle and/or high school, and I think it should be mandatory. I’m not saying you’d have to pass the class to be allowed to have children or anything like that. Just that it would be beneficial to future generations if everyone were taught the basics of life, including parenting.

@JLeslie Oh, I’m aware that there are unfit parents; I’ve known a few. I do not, however, feel that it is the business of the state to certify fitness. Ideally, the family will step in, as they did in the cases that I knew.

@augustlan- I agree. I think the life skills should be taught in high school in the upper grades. Too soon and I doubt it would be taken seriously enough to make a difference.

As far as a parenting class, I think it would be hard to enforce and just create more big government. I see hospitals in my area offer ongoing classes that are free to the public, yet they are never full and are often cancelled.

@JLeslie : I disagree that it should not be the business of the state for the classes being mandatory because with predicaments happen the state is the one that usually has to take the children and place them in homes and so I feel that if youth are taught how to be better parents for they are already trying to be grown having sex in a young age, i feel that they should be mandatory to pass… Another thing would be CPR…
When it comes to the state being involved I feel that there is no reason unless something is going on that should have them involved… I think that this world is changing and in reality if reality is shown to children maybe they would not want to be so caught up with trying to grow up so quick… Teen pregnancy has become a trend which is not an easy task, and in reality the government in many predicaments are paying for these extra children that are having children… Or just my view..

@cak Unfortunately, the people who need the classes at your area hospital the most are often likely to not take them.
I went to a free parenting class with my boss (I’m a nanny) once when the kids were little- lots of people were there, but they were all people who didn’t need to be and the material was so basic and dumbed down. Sad.

@Marodr13 I know you are fairly new to fluther, welcome by the way, so you are unaware about how much I harp on teen pregnancy, and how concerned I am about it, and feel it is a major contributing factor to many of our problems in society today, especially poverty. I don’t think a teen getting pregnant is them wanting to grow up too fast. I think teens want to grow up, and act adult, because adults appear to be free relatively speaking. I think teen pregnancy has more to do with teens not accepting, or believing, there are consequences to actions, misinformation, and being pressured to have sex before they are ready. The realities of having and rasing a baby, how difficult, exhausting, and time consuming it is, is not even understood by most adults before they have a baby. I think teens need to have goals and future plans, something to look forward to that having a baby will screw up. I think the teens most likely to get pregnant are those who have no hope regarding the future, but of course any teen can make a mistake, even when everything is done right parenting them, and educating them.

About the state. I think we need to know exactly what the state will be looking at regarding parenting. Already the state can intervene if a child is being beaten or neglected. I don’t think we want the state to be able to evaluate the IQ of a parent, how much money the parent has, if they are married, or gay, literate, or whatever else someone might come up with.

Now, how are you going to make this class mandatory to take and pass? When a woman becomes pregnant she has to take a class and pass, or her baby is taken away when it is born?

@JLeslie: Actually, thats exactly what I was trying to ask in the first place.
”people concerned that some parents are not well equipped to raise their children. No one here seems to be suggesting the government provide for parents or children, you are twisting things.”

I meant people who are not exactly equipped to raise children properly. I’m not talking about the government.

@augustlan and @PluckyDog and @cak : Yeah, I don’t know how it would be put into action, but I like the idea of having to go through a class that taught good ways to raise children. I mean, things like discipline, better ways to go around big issues… etc.

@troubleinharlem I’m confused. Are you agreeing wih me?

@JLeslie: Thanks for the welcome :)
I agree being a teen wanting and craving freedom so they are going to connect adults with freedom… Which is not so… Actually far from it… I wish I could go back in time and change many things, lol
But you are right we really dont want to have the government more into our business… It hard enough with income taxes..

@Marodr13 I disagree, I think as adults we have more freedom, more control over our environment, and life in general. children are told what they have to do almost every minute of the day, rarely getting to decide things for themselves from their perspective.

@JLeslie: We have freedom when it comes to controlling what we do, but the government has others upon us, for us to drive we have to have a license, we have to pay taxes.. being a adult is hard, its no play time… and we may not listen to our parents but we have to listen to rules.. red means stop and green go… I think depending on the teen its not tough, but it does depend on the enviroment…

@Marodr13 yes, but as a child we are in the process of learning so many of the rules, and as adults they are more second nature. I think this makes a big difference. We are no longer being told what to do, we simply are living within the rules. It’s easier as we get older, because the rules make sense, seem logical, and seem less like we are being controlled, and more like the basic rules of life bring order to chaos, and we appreciate them. Also, as we get older we care less about pleasing others, and we understand ourselves better. You are thinking more in terms of obligations we must still conform to, I am speaking of how we feel psychologically. I wonder, how old are you?

What of the children that are different would the class cover all possible personalities? Would they cover children who have autism, would it cover kids with aspergers how about blind or just plain different than others? I have 7 living children and I could not discipline them the same. One thing would work for one and another thing for the other. Each were separate distinct individuals and needed different things from me as their father. They still do need different things and they are grownups.

@JustmeAman just to defend the class a little, you would be surprised how many people don’t realize there are other options besides hitting a child to discipline them. Corporal punishment is still alive and well here in the south, in the home and in schools, even public schools. So, some very basic basics, which would be second nature and boring to many people, might be worthwhile for the couple people in the class who have no idea there are several ways to raise and discipline children.

I would agree that a general course is a good thing but it should not be forced.

I have always said that a parenting class should be required in high school, as well as a class about basic finances. There are other classes that I feel are not as important that are required, yet, most high school graduates must meet the challenge of parenting and handling finances, but are often not prepared. I think that by learning basic childhood developmental milestones might prevent some instances of child abuse, (i.e. the 6 month old baby that died from inhaling red pepper because her ignorant mother was trying to keep her from sucking her thumb. At 6 months they are Supposed to suck their thumbs, they are teething!) Or children who are abused because they are not potty-trained or have accidents during potty training, (they are neurologically not able to control bowel/bladder function completely til sometimes 3 years of age, especially boys). When you are armed with facts and have some idea what to expect, one might do a better job as a parent. Just sayin….