Do you grieve over the death of a pet like others grieve over the death of a person?

yes, i’m not species bias.

I just had to put down my companion a Golden Retreiver and she was like a child to me. I went in with her and held her head as she passed. Her lungs were full of cancer and I could not see her suffer any longer. It has been really hard to go through and I am so grateful for the joy she brought into out lives. They are like family and grief is very hard. Many do not understand this because they can’t relate to it. I have a sister that gets angry when someone does grieve so much for any animal.

@JustmeAman Aww, I’m so sorry. Some people just don’t understand the love some of us have for animals, and they don’t understand that for us there’s this big gaping hole in our hearts and lives when we lose a beloved animal.

I can’t stand to think of it, really, either of my babies dying.

I am crying right now for the beloved dog that passed away one week ago.

Unconditional love and companionship. It is a special bond and when they pass it hurts like hell.

Absolutely. Whilst I try not to put human emotions on my dogs, they are definitely an important part of my family and losing them is very hard indeed.

Yes I certainly do because they don’t ask much of us, they just want to be near us, are always faithful and are our best friends… right up to the end.
They are part of our family and there is a gap in our lives when they are gone.

@Dog It isn’t easy when we lose our animal friends is it? {{hugs}}

25!

That has to be a record for cat longevity!
Clearly between the cats genes and your uncles TLC it was a winning combo! Most amazing, and heartwarming to be sure!

Yes, I have always had a special tenderness for animals and do grieve for them when they go.

My most recent losses have been my 14 yr. old cat last May who was in heart failure and had him euthanized in my arms on Memorial Day weekend by a wonderful vet that makes housecalls.

Prior to losing Gadwicke it was my 12 yr. old Embden goose ‘Babby’, whom was suffering from a crippling leg condition.

I carried her around for months, from sun to shade, to her swimming pool, she had stall mats put in her barn for extra comfort and was on Rimadyl for pain.

Everyone thought I was nuts for spending so much on a ‘mere’ goose.

Fuck that…she was worth every penny, the sweetest goose in the world.

Gadwicke and Babby share a gravesite under a beautiful Oak tree down my hill at the edge of a pasture.

I think of them everytime I pass by.

My last cat was named Boo and he lived for 26 years. We came home from a dinner for one of our sons birthdays and he was laying on the driveway. I have such fond memories of him.

I never have adored my dogs like children. I love them as my closest, most trustworthy companions. My dogs don’t repeat private conversations. My dogs don’t make cutting remarks about my appearance. My dogs don’t tease me because I snore. My dogs don’t complain if I have to work late. Sure, sometimes (especially when they get old), they have accidents in the house or they get nippy if they’re scared and they all shed like… crazy shedding things. But they all were always delighted to see me and be near me. People are complicated and sometimes it’s hard to love them even when you do love them. But a dog has never let me down.

When my dog died. I was a crying baby for a week and took a month to stop the weeping.

I will tell you how I act when someone close to me finally dies.

One of the things that bothers me are those that get a pet and keep it outside all the time and never do anything with it. We have neighbors who tie up their dog and feed him. That is all that dog ever does and I think that is an awful thing to do. He crys all the time but never leaves the length of the chain he is on.

@JustmeAman I simply don’t understand people like that. Why have the dog at all?

@JustmeAman I wish someone would put up a fence and unchain that dog! and all dogs chained up. Terrible!

When my pets die, it is exactly like a family member dies. A few months ago, my mother and I lost our wonderful cats a week apart. First to go was Datsin, a lovely little fuzzahpuffahkit there was more fur on her than there was actual kitty who we suspect was around 19 she was a stray when our neighbors found her. It was the most awful thing. First, she had awful breathing troubles and we took her to the vet, My mother instructed the vet to put her down if she got worse because it had reached the point where even if her life could be extended, she would have been in pain and had no quality of life. She had to be put down. A week later, her 17-year-old daughter had to be put down as well. She was so dependent on her mother for love and comfort that she went into a kind of depressive spiral. I still miss those cats and wish they were still here with us.

People who don’t have pets don’t understand.

I’ve had both pets and people die. Although I grieve my pets it is nothing compared to losing a person you were close to.

@KatawaGrey

Awww…I know.

When my Babby goose died the vet put my gander Marwyn on anti-depressants.

I found his second wife and they have been happily together for almost 2 years now.

Geese will accept new mates contrary to popular belief, but they do remain faithful to a mate and can suffer terribly when they lose them.

I didn’t tell too many people about my goose being on medication for greif.
Only my closet friends that honor my eccentric side. lol

I can cry for animals, but the death of people, no matter how close, has little effect on me, though i think the death of a child might. I guess I grieve for those I consider “innocent.” But all in all I’m pretty nihilistic.

@tranquilsea: I have lost people close to me and both times, it wasn’t sudden. Both my uncle and my grandfather had long deaths. I think it may have been worse simply because I had to watch these two people suffer before the end. However, the lingering grief is just as bad. My grandfather was a cat person and my uncle was a dog person. I don’t think either of them would mind if they knew I miss my dead pets as much as I miss them.

Perhaps I’m cynical or heartless, but when I get a pet, I thoroughly plan on outliving it. I love my pets, but when they’re gone I will get new pets that I will love as well. I have lost several cats in my life and I still miss them on occasion, but I wouldn’t say that I grieve for them like I do for humans.

Actually, come to think of it, I’m kind of the same way about people. Except that I won’t go out and get a new grandma or anything.

@crazyivan I’ll let you borrow my grandma… she’s pretty damn cool!

@crazyivan I know it does not make sense on a rational level.

I do know I will likely outlive my pets. Even that firm knowledge and seeing that they are aging… I know that they will be leaving. But that does not heal the gaping, open, painful wound in my heart when they reluctantly leave my side.

I have lost loved ones very close to me. The grief is different (just as the relationship is different) but just as painful.

I think it depends how far you let either one into your life and your heart. If you let them all the way in, it’s going to hurt if you lose them,maybe differently, but it still hurts.

Losing my Pet Parakeet was my first real pet and a very hard loss for me, and burying my two dogs was heartbreaking and I was down for many many months. I have lost grand parents and uncles so far and all were hard losses but my pets were my companions and they were very much harder to get over and still very missed.

Do animals that can outlive us grieve if we die? Parrots, for example.

Yes. I know when I get a pet that I will most likely outlive them. But it does not change the fact that, when my pet dies, I will grieve just as hard and deep as I would a human that I love. My pets are my family ..my friends. Of course I will grieve their deaths. Pets have been known to grieve over their human companion’s death as well. It’s an emotional and spiritual bond that has the strength of any human relationships.

People get hung up on “oh it’s just a pet, get over it” ...they miss the point. This pet…. this being ..obviously has had a large enough impact on my life to cause me a tremendous amount of grief when they die.

@KatawaGrey I have seen cases where the pet gives up on life and dies after losing their owner.

I lost my opossum and it still hurts to this day. Thinking of her can bring me to tears. I loved my opossum, Sylvia. She was the one of the best pets and I had a very strong bond with her. I still think about how she would nestle up on my shoulder and sleep, or how she slept in the hood part of my hoodie (I also kept it pushed to the front so it hung over my shoulder near my heart).

So far in my life i’ve had 3 dogs, 2 hamsters, 1 guinea pig & a partridge in a pear tree…..... sorry, several goldfish die. Fortunately as of yet i’ve had no close family/friend’s death to deal with. All I will say is this, when those dogs died it hurt like shit. Don’t even want to go there with my current dog, she’s only just turned a year old & she means the world to me & my kids. That’s one mighty bond that’s really tough to break.

To me I love my pets passionately as much as most people love other people because I form a very strong bond. I take pictures and keep many memories. I get to know them all the way threw and I can count on the fact that they will never lye or back stab me. When I loose a pet it hits as hard as loosing my Dad or my friend would. My cat Daytona died years ago and I still think about all the good memories and even though his body isn’t there anymore I visit his grave. I keep it clean from anything growing except the flowers that grew and I talk to him. My cat Mistic disappeared on june 17th and I still cry and write about her.

I read somewhere about the perversity of human nature in that we who live 70 plus years choose for our closest companions creatures that have much shorter lifespans. I have often wondered that myself. Now at my age I would like to get a new bird but I would have to arrange for a caretaker in my will because I know it would live much longer than I have left.

But yes, I grieve the loss of my dogs horribly. I have 2 oldies right now and I treasure every moment I have with them because who knows how much longer I will have them with me.

@Coloma – I admire you for your devotion to your goose. But I keep wondering how the hell do you give your goose a Rimadyl, that is in pill form right??? Creates an interesting mental image. My old akita boy gets an aspirin every day for his aches and pains, we haven’t graduated to the rimadyl stage yet.

@rooeytoo

Well…you straddle the goose and pry her beak open and shove the pill way down the back of her gullet.

It’s challenging to be sure. lol

Yes. My dogs are part of my “pack”, which is family. I lost my Blaise back in May and I still cry for him and miss him terribly.

Losing pets is very sad, but in my case, I didn’t have the same kind of expectations for the future that I have with people, so it works out to be a different scale.

Oh, @KatawaGrey , you’ve just laid me out. This morning I had a black shirt on my bed (the room was dim) and started to stroke it…but it wasn’t Tasha. This is a lovely but difficult thread to read, and @ChazMaz‘s post brought back losing Micro (our Westie). I have to go now and love the hell out of Zup for a few minutes.

I would far more likely cry for the death of my cat than my ex wife. My cat is a much better “person” than my ex wife could ever hope to be. Way more trustworthy, dependable, caring, affectionate…

The difference is one of degree. I have three children, a loving husband and a loving dog. If one of my children or my husband were to die at the same time as my dog I would not grieve for the dog as much as for my kids or husband.

That is not to say that when my dog dies I won’t grieve for him. He is loyal, obedient, doesn’t talk back and follows me every where. It will be very hard on me and my family when he eventually goes.

I see my dog every day. I don’t see my aunts, uncles or various cousins every day. I believe that accounts for the difference in degree of mourning.

I still remember the day my childhood dog died. It crushed me. I look back very fondly on our time together. He was a loyal friend and beloved family member. In comparison, I still want to pick up the phone and call my dad. I am way past childhood, but could still use one of his hugs. I still cry and still remember all the sights and sounds from that day. It never goes away.

I didn’t love my dog less, he’s still discussed during family gatherings, but my dad. Not convinced that pain ever truly subsides.

I prefer to think that our affection for our pets represents an effort by our subconscious to remind us that our primary purpose for existing is to defend and nurture all that lives.

@cak: A parent’s death definitely eclipses a pet’s death but then again, I think it would just be the worst thing in the world if @JilltheTooth died but, having never lost a parent, I think it’s safe to say that my mom was comforted by our dog and our cats when my grandfather died. Your childhood dog would have eased the pain you felt for your father.

Glad to see you answering questions!

@Coloma – yep that was the mental image I had but I thought it couldn’t be, there must be another way! My admiration for your devotion is elevated!

No

It’s the unconditional love, respect, and companionship…..just feed and water.
I’ve had a few that nearly tore my heart out when they died. Which is why I don’t have any at present.

I almost forgot, various vet schools, rescue groups etc, have pet grief counseling services. Here is a partial list.

My son’s first dog passed yesterday. He is mourning more than I thought he might. Luckily he as some photos of her when they were hiking. She was carrying her own backpack and looking out for him as he for her. He will have the photo blown up and framed. She was a very loyal hiking partner and friend. The grief is the same, a loss is a loss of someone you loved with your whole heart.

I’m still grieving for my cat. She ran off to die March 15th of this year after being with me since summer of 1996. Yeah, I still get really low and don’t want another.

@Trillian…beware the ides of March…

Shit, I never thought of that.

Sorry if it seemed I was making light of your grief. I’m definitely an animal lover in general (and a cat lover specifically) so I understand the kind of pain that causes. I’ve had cats disappear and I’ve had them pass away. I find the disappearance to be much harder to deal with because somewhere in the back of your mind you’re always still expecting to see them on the porch when you get home.

@Trillian

What is the ‘ides of March’ ???

For the Romans it was a celebration day. Every month had an ides, some on the thirteenth. March ised was dedicated to Mars. A seer foretold doom for Julius Caesar with the warning “Beware the ides of March”. He was killed by members of his senate on the ides of March.

@Trillian

Aaah…interesting!

Of course not.

@mattbrowne: Care to elaborate on that deathless prose of yours?

Well, losing a 25-year-old cat is terrible and the grief is very intense, no doubt. Our cat is 5 years old and when this happens to us at some point in the future it will be overwhelmingly sad and depressing. Our daughter is 21 years old and I don’t even want to imagine how her death would feel like. That’s all. We are human beings and the intensity of our emotions is part of our humanity. We can love both other humans and animals. But the way we feel love is different.

I mourned the death of one of my babies (snowshoe cat named Tommy) for three straight days after I had to put him down. Remembering how he looked after his life left him still brings tears to my eyes and it has been almost a year since.

@tigress3681
Awww, I know!

I had my old Himalayan put down last May.

I covered him up in blankets in a wheelbarrow in my garage to bury him the next morning.

He looked so angelic, his little face tucked between his paws, I’ll never forget that. ;-(

Wow, stumbled across this, a whole YEAR since my Gad has been gone, as of today!
The 2 new ‘kids’ are sprawled out on my bed on this breezy afternoon in bliss. :-)
The cycle of life continues…

Our dear pet is adopted after her very dear previous companion person passed away. Our dear pet is a frequent reminder of that very loved person. ..And she’s a hoot and very special on her own. I would howl loudly and long.

My long-time canine companion, Walker died last week. He was my close friend and his absence is still painful.

@Dr_Lawrence – sorry to hear that. It takes a long time for the wound to heal. I always adopt a new one as quickly as possible. Not to replace but to distract and love all over again.

I have another dog who is much younger and I’m getting to know her better.

That’s good therapy!

It’s not funny, it’s ironic. I just posted a question in the same vein. I feel closer to my animals than I feel to most people. I’m going to cry my heart out when my little cat passes. My sister in law had a mini-break down when her baby from her 14th birthday had to be put down (she’s 30 something now).

We can tell these friends everthing, anything and they don’t care, whether they understand us or not. They’re looking at us with a different lense than we or anyone else ever views us. Animals are the only friends that we never believe can’t see what we really are.

Hasn’t happened to me in my immediate family for a while – it was always shocking as a kid to lose one of the family animals – but in recent months some relatives have lost pets they’ve know for a few years. It was not the same as when fellow humans pass on. At least because civil officials don’t have to be involved and there are more options for disposition of the remains of a companion animal. Some folks we know put the cat in a favorite towel and buried him in their backyard where he used to hang out a lot.

Our current pet could easily outlive us, at 22 going on 60+
We adopted her a few years ago when her original companion human, her home flock, passed away.
Now we are her flock and we hope to hang on as long as she does.
And in the meantime we are on the lookout for ‘godparents’. just in case.
Already I’m quite sure if something happened to her I’d be devastated for some time.