If at the moment of your birth you were able to talk, what do you imagine you would have to say?
Asked by
ucme (
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October 28th, 2010
Yeah, strange question I know but could be intriguing or at least funny, who knows? You’ve been cocooned inside the womb for nine months. Your own little aquatic world, safe warm & secure. An abrupt rude interruption is about to puncture this little haven however. A journey from which there’s no return. Along the birth canal into a world that is totally alien to you. A loud bright cascade of sound & colours greets you. Just what do you say at the moment that mark’s an epoch in your existence? Funny as well as thoughtful answers shall be treat with equal enthusiasm.
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40 Answers
I think I would also go with the “Look Who’s Talking?” route – “Put me back in…put me back in!”
‘Oh boy….43 years to go before I wake up out if this stupid dream!’ lol
“Whachyu talkin bout Willis?!”
What – another hypothetical question? (I was a vey precocious baby!)
Holy fuck! Now wipe me off or put me back!
“You shall rue the day I entered this world! ...and why is my head shaped like a football?”
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“WTF did you eat last night?”
“Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas any more.”
I don’t know, but I heard Chuck Norris was born with hair on his chest and he round house kicked the doctor. Nothing he could have said would have explained his awesomeness.
“Anyone got a pair of sun glasses?” :)))))
I think I’m not going to like this world.
It has happened before and you would talk about where you had just came from. The pre-existance and those you associated with there.
Isn’t there a better way to do THAT??
I always get annoyed with questions like this because my instinct is to try to imagine them literally, and of course, that’s not what is wanted. Literally, even if you could talk, you wouldn’t say anything because you wouldn’t know anything. And so on. It’s just that it then is difficult to figure out what the OP really wants. Joke? Zingers? What we might really think of being born if we had the consciousness we have now? All of the above?
I mean, thinking about what I would think at my birth if I knew what I knew now might be an interesting question. Making jokes…. seems a bit tired. It’s been done.
Ok, so I’m feeling irascible and I know I could pass right on by if I want to. On the other hand, maybe I like being querulous and literal. I’ve been like that most of my life, so why change now? I don’t mean to pick on you, @ucme. You just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
If I were able to both talk and think at birth, I might think and say, “Finally! It was damn stuffy in there and I was getting real nervous that my pee would break through and pour all over me.”
“And also, it’s about time you let me out because you guys are in deep shit and don’t even know it. I’ve got my work cut out for me.”
“Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to work I go…..”
“I’m a boy, really. Take a closer look!”
@Aster Chuck Norris was 5’ tall when he was born? Damn, he is awesome!
” ok; I’m worn out. Now, where’s dinner??”
@wundayatta Oh I don’t feel in the slightest bit “picked on” not in the least. Feel free to vent your spleen if you wish. My questions are a veritable open book. If this one has afforded you the oppurtunity to indulge in…...well whatever you just did, then it’s all good, as someone once said.
Dam!! wrong worm hole! :-/
Lordy what a ride. Can I do it again?
I hope that’s not my twin behind me!! Cos if it is, they’re one ugly M/F :-/
Hey Doctor quit hitting my bum and get that thing out of my nose.
Apologies in advance.
“Can anyone smell fish?”
@lloydbird There’s a time & plaice for that young man & ......well, this is that venue! :¬)
“Whaddyamean, ‘it’s a girl’?!”
Wait, you’re telling me that I was forcefully born against my will nearly a month over due, and I’m only the 2nd biggest baby in this hospital? WTF, put me back in…. Ooooh, look at the rack on that nurse…Mommy, can she be my wet nurse?
“Whew! How about that ride in?” or “I knew I should have made that left turn at Albuquerque!”
“Aw man, I was just getting comfortable”
My mother said (kidding) I was born talking and never did shut up. “What does that say?” “What time is it?” “Why?”
My son spoke several very clear, loud and recognizable words just after he was born. Nothing too profound, just a couple food items. He didn’t talk again until he was a toddler, but on that first day he spoke loud and clear, and yes, I have witnesses!
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