Are threesomes bound to be devastating in some way to a relationship?

It depends on the people in the relationship. Jealousy can sometimes be a major factor after a threesome and it can tear relationships apart.

I understand that aspect and took that into consideration. The way I see it is if him and I are meant for each other, he will fully understand who I am and what I feel inside and appreciate that more than any thing else that would have caused one jealousy

There’s really no knowing before hand. Do you want this to be an ongoing thing? One time? Do you have ground rules? Are you going to keep it about sex, or are you going to try to include emotions? What is the existing relationship of the three?

Sometimes the man thinks it’s cool (which is to say, hot) if his girl and another are getting it on. Some men like to have both women attending to them.

It’s best to talk it through before hand so you know you’re all on the same page. Be as detailed as you can. Continue talking as you do it. If someone is uncomfortable, talk about it. Try not to hold in resentments for later. It’s hard, but if you can do it, it’s better.

I will tell you this. My wife is not one of the women I ever had a threesome with. I’m pretty sure that those extra relationships played some role in the breakups.

No…they are not “bound to be devastating” in any way to a relationship generally.

However, they are bound to devastating to certain people – you need to know what kind of person you are before you do anything like a threesome in a relationship. If you’re not sure about it, or not sure that you can come to terms with the negative effects it might cause in a manner that you and your partner can talk through the issues to save the relationship…then it’s best to stay away.

Ask yourself how hard is it to keep the two of you in a good relationship and then add a third. It will usually cause trouble in the long run.

It’s a rare person that is enlightened enough to be able to drop all attachment in these sorts of ‘relationships’.

By participating in these situations one is, by default, accepting the possibility that one party might find favortism with one of the others on a sexual or psychic level that could lead to the dilution or separation of the primary relationship.

You must have your own experience (s) to determine if this is a lifestyle choice that works for you.

Personally I have never known of a relationship lasting longterm under these conditions and I have encountered many examples in my 50 years of living experience.

You might want to consider some things about how you might react as well as how he might react. Such as:

How will you feel if it looks like he enjoys having sex with her more than he enjoys having sex with you? And the same thing for him, just switch you and him.

How will you feel if he expresses an interest to do it again with that same girl? And same for him?

It’s hard to know how people will react, but think about it before making a decision to do it if this is a relationship you want to keep for the long term.

We have had a few experiences together with other women already and as far as open communication we have plenty I believe… I just wonder sometimes if it will eventually lead to a failed relationship or if its possible that everything will work out even if we do decide to do this occasionally…

If you’ve already done it a few times and it has gone well, it’s hard to say. Perhaps one of you could get tired of doing them at one point and the other could be disappointed that it will no longer be a part of your relationship. If things are going well, I’d just focus on that right now.

It can be. It can also bring something new/interesting into the relationship thats fun for both. Communication is key. The two of you in the relationship should be focusing on playing with this third person together as a couple instead of just yayyyy another girl for the guy to fuck. And always ALWAYS pay at least three times more attention to your SO than the third person. If anyone feels uncomfortable at any point cease and desist.

@amberrae Has it been with the same woman more than once or just once and done?

oh yea to add what I said. The third party being involved shouldnt really be a friend of either groups IMO as it can cause tension/awkwardness with that down the road. Itd probably be best to pick up a random person have the fun of that night and be done with it. That way there is no possibility for continued lust by one party for that third person

we have been with a few different women… we still talk to most of them though….I am just the type of person who isnt bothered by this… I just DONT feel weird at all and genuinly enjoy them as people and lovers

@uberbatman Thats why I asked my question. I like the thought from a physical side, but I most likely could not let someone get that close to me repeatedly without feeling something more and then kaboom. Problems.
@amberrae Ok thanks. Interesting.

I think you can never predict the outcome of a relationship once you introduce someone else into the relationship. Its not like your bringing home a puppy. Even if you intend to just keep it about you two with an extra helping once in a while, you will no doubt find someonone that your man would have to be attracted too as well. So how can you guarantee that he won’t fall for her and she for him and that you become the extra. What do you say to your guy. Honey, you can sleep with her all you want so long as I am around but you must not develop feelings for her. Just think of her like a hooker that is a regular in our sex life. Yeah, that should work.
Guys never leave their wives for the girl they are having a fling with.
I’m not saying its absolutely bound to happen, but I think its like giving a potential alcholic, a lot of liquor and then saying they can only drink when you say when.

No, they’re not bound to be devastating to a relationship if your relationship is a good one.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir for a second, I read that as “they’re only bound to be devastating if your relationship is a good one” and was about to be all, “Oh, SIMONE…;-)”

@iamthemob lol, yeah, that doesn’t sound like me

@Pandora Well I would just like to say that I have set boundaries as far as him having actual intercourse with another woman… he won’t do that, and is fine with that… everything else is fine with me for the most part and we continue to keep an open line of communication between everyone involved.

The couples I’ve known to add in a third did it primarily because of the male partner. The female partners went along with it to make a show the guy they were confident and not the jealous type. The guys couldn’t have cared less about how the girls felt aside from not wanting a breakup if they got caught cheating. Having a threesome sounds so much more adventurous and it’s technically not cheating if you can talk your partner into being there.

Well I think that for the most part all men have fantasized or thought about being with 2 women at the same time… but this was my idea…and i actually introduced him to it… he had never experienced one until we had ours.

Probably

Absolutely not all men want a threesome. I for one would not welcome it for any reason.