What would motivate a woman in her early 20s to date someone 15 years older?

because she considers the guys her age that she knows beneath her, maybe? Maturity level cannot be overlooked in a situation like this.

Blindness?

Maybe the issue is deep seated…

Not being a 20 year old woman, I can’t answer this with any certainty, but…

I presume the same things that motivate a 20 year old woman to date anyone? (i.e., physical attractiveness, money, sexual/emotional compatibility, &c., &c.)

I suppose that, as an older person, as an older woman, I may have a different perspective on this than someone younger but… early 20’s, the oldest you can be to be in your “early 20s” is 24, I think. After that you’re in your mid-twenties. So, at the oldest, she’s dating a guy that’s 39. That’s not really all that old, young ones! Maybe… have you possibly considered, is it at all conceivable that they just simply like each other? That they’re compatible? That they enjoy each other’s company? Does there have to be some interpersonal pathology or psychological or unconscious glitch or defect that’s driving this relationship? Is that the only way you can think of to explain it? It’s not that weird. Maybe they just like each other, have a good time together and want to be together. And, if on top of that, if the sex is hot, I wish them the very best. Mind your own business and stop worrying about other people’s relationships. They’re both adults. Go find your own woman or your own man and leave these two alone, whoever they are, be they real or hypothetical.

Have you met dudes in their 20s?

@lillycoyote, I appreciate your thoughtful response, but you may want to pay attention to your tendency to make assumptions and additions that don’t exist in the question. This is “hypothetical/share your experience,” not “what the hell is wrong with this girl.”

@nikipedia, I know! I’m soooo not attracted to them and they have horrible taste in music. ;-)

Maturity, stability, and a man who possibly (finally) knows what he wants from life.

Edit: I’m 25 so I don’t know if my answer counts.

‘nother edit: And by “maturity” I don’t mean someone who doesn’t know how to have fun, or never laughs or gets silly. I mean someone who doesn’t play stupid emotional games.

No, 25 still counts.

They’re attractive and all but they’re an emotional clusterfuck.

When I was 24 I dated a 36 year old for a while. It was a nonissue. We got along well. It helped that he had a really sexy accent and looked good naked.

How bout’ this… She’s getting her masters in psychology, and wants to write her final thesis on the male mid-life crisis. Dedicated as she is, shacking up with him before he hits 40 is the only way to get the inside scoop!

upon graduating, dump the old fart

@kevbo I might want to pay attention to my “tendency to make assumptions and additions that don’t exist in the question” but I’m not sure if I care to or if I am willing to, or that I need to. What have I read into the question that is not implicit in it? I don’t think that is was at all unreasonable to extrapolate from your question or your details that you seem to think that there is some kind of pathology here. You ask what could be the reason beyond the stereotypical ”(sugar daddy, daddy issues, etc.)” issues? What could be beyond those, except either more stereotypes or real affection?

I have no idea.

@lillycoyote, fair enough… of all people I should know better than to criticize honest responses that fall outside the questioner’s expectations. That was a bad job of listening. My apologies.

This question is just a demoralizer for a guy in his 20’s. I’m apologize for being born in the 80s. It wasn’t my fault. Apparently, I don’t know anything because of the year I was born.~

I promise I’ll never do it again.

@kenmc, just read this book and do 10% of what it says. Not kidding.

I can’t imagine. When I met my husband, he was 24 years old, and I got the best deal around. I am 8 years older than he is.

@kevbo I’ll pass, thanks. I’ll just keep being me and if women don’t appreciate it simply because of my age, then that’s their problem.

btw, I have a good taste in music.

@kenmc Calm down, there. No one is saying that all young men are immature. I certainly didn’t intend to put that across, if I did. I also don’t believe that all older men are mature, either. It always comes down to the individual, every single time.

I also think that @kevbo was asking what would make a young woman willing to date an older man, simply because the idea makes a lot of people too uncomfortable to date too far outside of their own age. I myself have never dated anyone more than four years older. Not to say I never would, but I just haven’t.

@DrasticDreamer Of course. I didn’t really take offense. I doubt there’s much I can do to really change people’s perspectives over teh interwebz anyways.

Ultimately, all I have to do is remember my uncle. He is a walking fart joke that married an 18 year old when he was 38. Age doesn’t mean anything.

@kevbo Thank you. I appreciate your thoughtful and reasoned answer. I really wasn’t at all looking forward to having to take off my gloves off and try to land that sucker punch in your you know what. Particularly since it might have only stirred up a hornets nest and come back to bite me in the ass:-)

Well, you have good instincts, because I’ve been known to bite older women on the ass.

Now I’ve derailed my own question. Shit.

I’d say she’s probably interested in him. That’s why most people date.

That was certainly the reason in my case. He was a lot more interesting than the overgrown juvenile males who were my own age. And he’d learned a few things about how to treat a woman.

He was a whole lot younger than my daddy and absolutely nothing like him.

Stability, maturity etc.
and what @nikipedia said “Have you met dudes in their 20s?”

@kevbo As long as you understand that when a woman talks about something “coming back to bite you in the ass” that it is a goal to strive for and not a guarantee, then you’re o.k. It’s all good, whether the woman is older or not.

OMG that is so hot where do I sign the consent form?

@kevbo You might find a partial answer to your question here. Why would a young woman be interested in a relationship with an older man? For the same reason a younger man might be interested in a relationship with an older woman, maybe. And, BTW, there is no consent form. It works more like an apprenticeship or maybe even indentured servitude. :-)

A more pressing question is “why don’t girls in their twenties want to date very old married men?”

Sex. The older you get the better it gets and perhaps she is already aware of this.

Perhaps he has no interest in video games…

My mother did that with my dad, except that he’s 20 years older. They started dating when she was about 23 and are still married. Sometimes it just works out.

Maturity. some men never grow up.

I would wonder why the other way around would happen. People in their early twenties are just in a different phase of life than people most often even in their mid twenties. Why would you want to relive that?

(PS – nothing against women in their early 20s – or people there as well. ;-) I just think they should date each other.)

So… Many… Generalizations…

“Have you met a guy in his 20s?” implies we’re all immature. How about we say “Have you met a girl in her 20s” to imply they’re all whores!

I dated older guys a number of times when I was in my early 20s. Why? Because they asked me out and younger guys didn’t. I have no idea why.

My boyfriend is a lot older than me and it’s purely because I find him attractive and fell in love with his personality. That’s all there is to it.