Why does my ex wife keep popping into my dreams now and then?

Do you think there are issues unresolved?
What is she doing in your dream specifically?

I find I dream of stuff that’s on the back of my mind. So thankfully, I never dream of my ex.

She’s fucking haunting your dreams!?! Hire an Ex-orcist, get shot of em.

If you do hire one make sure you pay them because if you don’t they will reposes.

The fact that you hate it so much means there are still issues remaining between you two. At the very least the relationship must’ve ended in a very sour note and your subconcious needs to remind you of that.

And, if there are still unresolved issues. It being so long ago.
Am I destine to be tortured for the rest of my life?

Friggin subconscious!

I dreamed about my old job – specifically, parts of it that I hated – for a couple of years after I quit. I think it was because, though I left happily and of my own accord, I felt unsatisfied with the non-resolution of those hateful parts, even though they didn’t affect my life any more. Consciously I was moving on, but my friggin’ subconscious wanted to go back and settle old scores. The dreams have gradually abated for the most part. Either try to settle whatever is lingering between you two – on your own or by talking to her – or just wait it out.

@ChazMaz

I have been married to my wonderful wife now for 17 years and still every once in a while I will dream of my ex. In my dream it is like we are together again and that things are wonderful and I wake a little disturbed but over time this is getting to be very rare. So no I don’t think you are destined to torture the rest of your life. But I understand how you feel. Good Luck

Is she the Ghost of Halloweens Past?

SCREAMING Ghost of Halloweens Past

@ChazMaz The more you let it upset you the more your subconcious will bring it up until it is resolved. If you don’t want to be haunted forever there is a remedy. Let what ever happen, stay in the past. Don’t look for reminders, and don’t waste time conciously thinking of things done and long gone.
Let go of the past and it will let go of you.
If you tend to compare women you know to women of the past than you are setting yourself up for a nightly reminder.

Went to a concert to hear Randy Newman who sung a wonderful song just on this topic. Well, maybe not exactly your feelings, but it was “Miss you.” Written while married to the next wife. I thought the song made sense—at some time, he cared enough to marry the woman. He still missed her in some ways. Maybe it’s something like that.

Try thinking about her screaming a couple times a day and see if that works. That way, she won’t be in your *sub*conscious mind.

hey chaz(if i can call you that) i think that you should think aout something soooooooo much that your brain won’t have the capacity to think about anything else.
such as…...... oh i know, what about ghosts? or cats or motorbikes or even jellyfish.
i think you get the general idea

Chaz is good. And, I am good with distraction. Till…

I am sleeping.

Your life is too good right now. Dammit man, there must be balance!

My ex still invades my dreams after being divorced 12 years. It seems he enters them when I am stressed out the most, so he has been a frequent visitor lately.

Unresolved issues like what really went wrong between you & if you think that it was her fault…... the need to be able to make her see that you did your best, but that you could not over-come the problems that she created. You have to realize that you can never make another individual see a situation from your perspective (but since this is VERY difficult to manage) you will probably continue to have her ‘pop-up’ in your dreams ever so often.

You need the right diet, otherwise your synaptic weight won’t budge:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synaptic_weight

For biological networks, the effect of synaptic weights is not as simple as for linear neurons or Hebbian learning.

@mattbrowne – Rrrrriiiiight?

@ChazMaz – It’s like ‘unlearning’ something. Suppose you’re using a certain password for years, then at some point the system forces you to change it once every three months. You do this, but the next time you log on you’re typing the old password. Same things happens when your SO rearranges stuff inside kitchen cabinets. Your brain needs to unlearn and this requires time.

The process behind learning and unlearning has to do with the so-called synaptic weight. The neural connections in your brain are full of stuff related to your ex wife. Therefore I said jokingly that only the right “diet” can do something about this. All these neural connections need to be flooded with new associations of all the new women in your life. But even then. Unlearning is a slow process. It will probably take decades.

Here’s another article that might help:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hebbian_theory

So what you are saying is… I need to get laid more often?

Kidding aside. I do get it. It makes sense. Need to flush out the old, then replace it with new.

Actually would LUV to be able to flush out 40% of my memories.

I still dream of my step mother ..and other people that were very negative in my life. Most of these people I haven’t had a relationship with for over 10 years.
The reason? Because there are certain things that I feel I will never “get over” ..even when I’m basically happy.
It’s just your brain’s way of dealing with some of it.
...Too bad you couldn’t change those dreams while you’re having them (it would certainly be interesting lol). I think you can learn to control some though. I can control some but not the really bad life like ones.

you’re funny chaz LOL!
how about actually being with someone in bed?
that will take your mind off things… oh and by someone i don’t mean the dog.

if you’re with someone
1. you wont get time to sleep much
2. i think there’s a bigger chance of dreaming about the person next to you( when eventually you do sleep)

@queenie – Good advice. Just need to find someone to be in bed with. ;-)

LOL!
GOOOOOOO CHAZ!

Lol @ChazMaz ..I don’t really know you, but you usually make me laugh :P