How do people learn to move forward after such a heart break?

I think you will feel better when you finally get gone. Change is hard enough and you have change in your emotional life without change in your physical life. Once you go home and are not around this girl every day, you will begin to heal. Are there things you can find to do when she is home, so that you won’t be in her presence? Maybe pick up a new (temporary) hobby until you can go home? Only you can be the judge of your healing process, but instead of sitting and sadly ruminating, take charge of yourself and get out in the world.

You sound a bit like how I felt when I broke up with my first lover. It took me two years to get over it.

Time, I’m afraid, is what it takes. Your system has abruptly been changed to a completely new configuration. It is shocking and you badly want to go back to the old way of being.

Slowly, you will become used to this new configuration. You’ll be able to function better in it. But this really does happen slowly. Prepare yourself for gradual change, and then let it happen. Try not to get too attached to your feelings of loss. That’ll slow it down, but it’s not always avoidable.

Just know that it’s ok to feel this way, and many other have felt this way, too, and most have survived. I’m one of the ones who survived. I wouldn’t want to ever do it again, and so I think I keep a little piece of me to me every since then, just in case.

Count the days, and mark them off on your calendar. Choose a number from one to ten to grade the amount of pain. Soon you will find the number is going down. Find a volunteeer opportunity in your area. Get involved in a club or activity you enjoy.

@janedelila Thank you, it’s one thing being able to understand this, but it’s another being told by someone else. It’s kind of like a second opinion type thing. I appreciate your input. I know that once I leave here physically it will slowly but surely get better.
@wundayatta You seem like a real experienced person. I’ve read through some of your questions and answers. You’re a very indepth person with a mind like an ice berg, it seems. I’ve read just the tip of your thoughts on fluther, but I feel like you’re full of a vast amount of insight and wisdom. Thank you. I hate that it will take time to heal, but I know it will happen. I just hope it can happen sooner than later at least. Thank you.
@YARNLADY I actually have not thought of your method. I think I’ll try that tomorrow and the following days as well. It seems like a very unique and interesting tip on how to handle my situation. I actually went to the local animal hospital near the place we’re staying and I hope to start volunteering there. Thank you for your advise. Much appreciated.

If you could possibly move out of her place right away, that would be a good first step, even if it means sleeping on a buddy’s couch or going to the YMCA or bunking in somebody’s dorm. The fact that you are still in the same house, means that the business is not finished.

Also, right now, you should be making a list of all of the things that you enjoy doing and start making plans to do them (without her of course) and the best things to do are those which involve other people. Join some groups (book club, exercise club, sports club, art making class, cooking class), go to museums and the zoo, go to lectures on subjects that interest you, go to church (if you are of faith) and invite small or large groups of friends and their friends to go do things with you, like walking for exercise in the park or bicycling or having picnics in the park. What I’m saying is make yourself busy, but be busy with other people who have similar interests, don’t just lock yourself away in your room. If you need to study, go where she won’t be. If you need to eat, go where she won’t be.

Then ask yourself how you can help someone else. Maybe you could volunteer at a soup kitchen, or go around your neighborhood and collect cans of dog and cat food and old blankets to take to the local animal shelter, or maybe you could read to elderly folks at the retirement home.

Everybody is exactly right when they say that it takes time to start feeling better, but if you’re busy, the time will fly by faster and be better spent. You know you’re a good decent person, who knows when you’ll find the next “one.” But live your life anway! Good luck : )

@sanchezjk Thank you for those kinds words. I guess I’ve had a number of experiences I would rather not have had, but the least I can do is try to learn something from them.

There is just one thing: a mind like an “iceberg?” I’d like to think there’s some warmth to me. ;-)

@wundayatta I was wondering about the ice berg thing too, but if I were you I would take it as a compliment. I think it’s meant to mean that you have lots more good stuff beneath the surface. Your advice seems pretty right on to me.

@wundayatta Haha I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so rude with that comparison. I simply meant that on Fluther I feel like I’ve only seen the “tip” of your wisdom and insight and I feel like there is an enormous amount left to be uncovered and known underneath the surface. Hence an Ice berg. Haha I hope I didn’t offend you. I meant no offense with that. I am undoubtedly sure that you are a great person with a warm heart and kind intentions to other people. Why else would you take the time to answer other peoples questions when they’re seeking advise with some type of personal problem? :)
@Kardamom Thank you. I didn’t really think to join other clubs or groups. I haven’t been in my usual state of mind lately so I tend to ignore most of everything around me except my own screaming thoughts and ragged emotions. But I have always wanted to learn how to dance Waltz, Salsa, and Tango so on top of trying to volunteer at a local animal shelter, I will also be looking for dance classes and friends to accompany me to those classes. I know I need to distract myself, but I’ve felt so distracted with myself that I hadn’t even taken the time to focus on what I need to be doing. Thank you very much for your input.

Thanks, @sanchezjk, again. I didn’t think you meant any offense. I just wondered what you meant, and now I know.

@sanchezjk I am so pleased to hear that you are interested in learning dance! That’s one of my favorite things! Also, helping animals is wonderful. We’ve got a few things in common. I know it’s really hard to get up and motivated when you’re feeling down in the dumps. Take some time today and actually write down some of the things you would like to do, get some phone numbers or contact information and put the list on your fridge (or tape it to your computer if you don’t want her to see it). Then, sometime today, get out and about, even if it’s just for a little while. Today is your new beginning : )

@Kardamom Yes! I know! The annoying thing is I feel up and down constantly. My mind is like “Today is my new beginning…You’re alone and sad…You get to experience amazing things now…She isn’t with you…My future is how I want it to be…She’s gone.” It’s annoying but thankfully my body is starting to suppress the thought of her and lock it away in the back of my mind. I feel more stable with every passing day but it isn’t a breeze, lemme tell you that. But thankfully I’m getting support not just from my few friends and family but also from this wonderful site. It’s refreshing to get insight and advice from fluther. It’s like that initial dive into cool water. Refreshing then relaxing :) Thanks to all of you for your input!

@sanchezjk Thank YOU. Just make sure you get up and get out every day and do something enjoyable, even if you are feeling lousy. After awhile, this will feel like second nature.