Do women actually respond positively to this (see inside)

It probably worked on me when I was younger, less experienced, less mature, less sure of myself, and with lower self esteem. I think it has to do with the whole wanting what you can’t have thing that some girls experience before they get their heads on straight.
Also, I think many women are turned off by guys who come on too strongly- but acting cold is lame and will likely fail with many women.

Probably that would work on immature woman who are into playing games. A mature woman is more interested in sharing your fun and company.

When you say, “A lot of people have told me lately that they were able to successfully make a girl like them if they treated them a little coldly sometimes”, I assume that you are referring to people in an unsuccessful long-term relationship that requires attracting a partner who has more than normal insecurities.

The relationship may last longer than short-term, but it will never be successful unless they work through the differences, come to an agreement, and learn to respect each other.

I think that kind of thing would only work on a girl who already likes you quite a bit, and who is, as others have mentioned, someone who likes to play games or isn’t very mature. Otherwise, if you treat a girl “a little coldly sometimes” I think that she’ll think that you either don’t like her, that you’re kind of moody and not worth the trouble or kind of a jerk and she’ll just move on.

Yea, I’ve blown off girls a few times only to find them wanting to hang out more.

Only if you are talking about women who are unsure of themselves and the type of men that tend to look for those types (ones that can be easily controlled or influenced).

A mature woman with good self esteem ..no, this is huge turn off and unhealthy.

In saying that, I’m not saying all women are like this. Of course, some women may find that game attractive and add their own similar rules.
But, for the most part, my answer is no. I believe if someone has to “make” someone like them ..in reality, they probably aren’t all that likeable.

Agreed that if she’s emotionally balanced, she’s not going to fall for the games you describe. Life is too short to bother with that nonsense. If instead you want to attract emotional nutcases, sure, go ahead.

I think it would have only worked on me as a teenager. Possibly the reason why I was drawn to my first husband, can’t really figure out what drew me to him.

I don’t like game playing, with emotions. Direct is good. Being mature is even better.

It works on dumb, young girls.

It does work to make someone want you more but I wouldn’t say that’s a positive development..they only want you because you’re harder to get than most…it’s not you, it’s the chase…

It works on younger, inexperienced women, or women with self-esteem issues. But a more experienced woman will quickly tire of this game and move on to someone who gives sure signs of interest.

There’s a difference between cold and trying to act uninterested. I think a lot of girls can figure out the two. Some are stupid and think both are attractive, but there’s something nice about a little challenge in a new relationship you’re trying to pursue. I try to avoid most guys who automatically start flirting with me. It’s a turn off if you’re trying too hard, but if you’re not trying whatsoever, girls will still think you’re playing hard-to-get.

It takes a mature person to catch onto this kind of behavior, but whether you like the “colder” side of men or not is truly about taste, just like being attracted to other personality types. (imo)

I love how all the experts on this are saying negative things about this. It has worked for me, and others, on very educated, strong, and generally smart as well as attractive women in college.

Believe it or not, some women are in it for the chase . . . just like the guys. There are many who can be “got” by giving the cold shoulder who, once they are given the attention they are looking for, get over it quickly and move on to the next one.

FUCK no. NEVER. i like nice guys. no one likes an asshole. why would anyone want to date one? nope.

I’d never in a million years be able to pull that one off. You kind of have to not care what she thinks of you, and I always cared way too much. Waaay too much. I’m not naive—I’ve been through this too many times, but it never seemed to matter. When I liked someone, I couldn’t pull back. Which meant, a lot of the time, that I ran smack into the door that got slammed in my face. My nose is quite an ugly piece of work as a result of that. Who knows what I was doing? Hoping that one of those doors would have corrected all the misaligned bones in my face? Looking back now, I feel like love didn’t just turn me into an idiot only the first time, but it did so over and over and over.

^^What @deni said.

If you figure out that someone’s “acting coldly” on purpose, that can be really unattractive. It shows that the person is insecure and insincere.

On the other hand, nobody wants to date someone who is around all the time, is needy, or doesn’t have a life of their own. I think it’s best just to exercise a little healthy restraint when you’re dating someone. You might want to call them all the time, but behavior like that can be overwhelming. When I date someone new, I try to treat it the same as a new friendship- it’s fun, casual, and we see each other once in a while. That helps me avoid being too eager or too overly cautious.

Seriously? I like nice guys, they’re my best friends. Sexual tension does go along with challenge and opposing views. It’s not just about being “immature”.. it’s a bit of a fight makes the prize worthwhile. Don’t you get bored with someone who constantly agrees with you?

My love-interest now is my opposite in many ways. Getting him to admit to love was a fabulous rush.

A little game play is healthy and fun. If it’s honest.
Don’t be a shithead just because…
But don’t be a doormat to her opinions either.

This works with both genders. It’s a bait and wait technique. Consider it akin to shaping a dog that wants to run away from you and who tries to entice you to chase them. You NEVER chase the dog. You put the dog in a sit, award massive amounts of verbal praise and a treat and then turn them loose. They will run. You turn your back and guess what….they come back and try to get your attention and you give them a reward for doing so and only when they come to you. It works with dogs, it works with men AND it works with women too.
I use this bait and wait to shape behavior all the time. You can use it in alot of ways…not just when dating.

@Blueroses I would never be a shithead…I couldn’t even do that on purpose to someone if I really wanted to…I was just curious is all. A lot of people say that acting like you don’t give a rat’s ass will make someone more interested. I dunno that I agree with it, I’m just playing the devil’s advocate :P

@Joybird I think you scare me a little….

@Joker94 Don’t mistake me, honey. I understand your question is regarding the David D’Angelo followers (read, asshole) school of manipulation.
I was giving an explanation of why we girls sometimes like “bad boys” better than “nice guys”.

The ‘bad boy” will keep the electric attraction alive and that’s attractive to any girl of any age.

I love how @Joybird phrased it.

I’m a female and I don’t respond well to this. In fact, if a guy I previously really thought was tops tried that then a small part of me would be crushed and I’d think less of him, turn my interest to being open to attention from what I perceived to be “better” guys.

@Joybird I use this bait and wait to shape behavior all the time. You can use it in alot of ways…not just when dating.

Can you elaborate?

@mrrich724 You seem to have missed the successful relationship part of the question. This is not about your shallow, one night stand kind of conquest.

Sweet holy moly, can anyone remember Darva Conger →, She had said she did not care about getting hitched she just thought ot would be a good vacation, but once the competition started she was in it to win, it was all about not losing more than winning a husband. When I worked in an industry were the customer base was 98.7% female I seen it often. When asked why they hung with their douche bag loser b/f it was because they either felt they were the super woman that was going to be strong enough to change him from his destructive ways and save him from himself or that guys like that were mysterious and exciting, like a roller coaster. When they were around you never know what would happen. Ad that no one likes to be rejected even for jobs or places on a team, it is one thing that you didn’t want it, but even if you didn’t want it it is another thing for someone to tell you that you can’t have it or are not good enough to have it, then you try to get it or do it just because you don’t want to let those who told you that you couldn’t tell you what to do.

I don’t know if that actually works or not it seems to but I wouldn’t treat a lady like that to get her to like me.

@YARNLADY

I wasn’t referring to one night stands. I was referring to friends with benefits etc. Some would call that a type of relationship, and if it’s mutually beneficial, it’s successful!

And also, to everyone, don’t confuse withholding attention from a woman to garner her interest acting like a “Shithead” or douchbag, or jerk . . . it’s different, adn I don’t think being a douchbag. However, not really caring about the outcome, and acting indifferent is not necessarily negative and it does work.

@FutureMemory I work in an environment where people constantly act out sometimes in destructive and violent ways. You have to learn to let people act out and not run after them and fix it or alter your initial request or expectations in any way. If you have done the work of building a safe container for the person and developed some favorable relationship with them…they eventually come back to you and make motions of trying to seek both your attention and favor again. It’s a pack leader thing. They recognize you as the pack leader especially when the other members of the group demonstrate it. They come back and you than use that opportunity to shape for a new behavior. You reward for the attempt to maintain the relationship…and you make a request…a small one that you know they can be successful at…this way you can demonstrate you will continue to reward for desirable behavior. In the situation I’m in…that reward could be a coupon, a snack, a verbal stroke, a token, help with a special project.
And I’m not as scary as I initially sound @DrasticDreamer. I’m a calm, confident, assertive person who is usually content and at peace. I am the person alot of other people go to when they need someone to discuss some weighty personal matter with. But I’m also very cognitive/behavioral in my approach to faciliating change.

@Joybird Don’t worry, I wasn’t being serious. :)

That “negging” business, like the dude who wears the Jamiroqoui hats advises men to do? Sure, that works on insecure girls who are desperate to make that sort of man like them. That way, they can feel “special”. Bleah.

@aprilsimnel: Ha! That’s the exact douchbag I was thinking of. The guy that kinda looks like Pammy Anderson’s ex.