Why do some people try to be hip and cool when they're talking to someone of a different race?

I think it’s an attempt, however misguided, to bridge the gap and to make the other person more comfortable.

Yo, that is whacked, homie.

People are stupid.

@wundayatta Yes, assuming I’ve sold drugs is the best way to make me feel comfortable : )

And Lol@bob.

Word.

Its called, trying to be the center of attention.

Its like people with loud boom boxes in their vehicle and cars with loud mufflers. its just to grab peoples attention and saying, “hey, look at me”.

And, please, lets not forget the people with a loud mouth. again, seeking attention.

Trying to fit in. I think some people appreciate it, because its an attempt at least.

Well there you go, @Blackberry. Isn’t that what all you people do?

Of course not, but I think some white folks believe that. Asians, too. It’s racist, of course, but it also has that positive component, I think. Even if it totally doesn’t work.

For me, it’s a complicated thing. I know I’m not of the people I am visiting, and my natural inclination is to start trying to talk like them. I don’t even have to think about it. I just do it. But then, I also know I’m not one of you (whatever group I’m in), and that it can come across as pathetic and condescending if it looks like I’m trying too hard.

So I’m me. I don’t swear much or use slang. I use my vocabulary and assume that if anyone doesn’t understand something, they’ll ask. Almost no one asks. Which means that some people’s unease around me is misplaced since we all have pretty much the same vocabulary.

Once I worked in an almost all black organization. I was doing some training and there came a moment when I was getting morally upset about something and I think I said “fucking” this or that something was a bunch of “shit.” Whatever I said, the people I was training almost took a step back in shock. They just didn’t expect that from me, even though none of them blinked an eye at it during conversation amongst themselves.

I never did that again. I guess there’s a time and a place and a way to try to make people feel like they aren’t so different from you. Other times, it’s probably refreshing to acknowledge the difference openly. Being non-racist doesn’t mean pretending that we’re all the same. I hope.

In short, it’s because the “social scripts” for white people are still messed up when communicating, in person, with other races.
As @wundayatta said ..it’s an effort by the white person to help the non-white person feel more comfortable ..even though it has the opposite effect (although I added the “white” part lol).

This also happens with other interacial interactions of course ..but I’ve noticed it much more with white society.

White people are utterly devoid of any interesting cultural practices, therefore they seize even the slightest opportunity (often misplaced and inappropriate) to show they aren’t as uncool as non-whites think they are.

Because they like you and want you to feel they like you, too. And as the post said so well, wanting to “bridge the gap. ”
I know it seems like a weird way to accomplish it, though. lol

To be honest, it’s because I would notice the difference the first time I meet someone for the first time. I’m not at ease meeting a new person as I would be with someone I’ve been friends for a long time. So maybe what you’re picking up on is their unease and they’re over compensating for it?

I really messed up my dumb answer . I mean they act that way ‘cause they want you to like them and to bridge the gap because they like you. I’m giving up.

@FutureMemory GA!!

Ha ha, It’s like when someone comes up to me (in the US) and says “Shalom,” because they know that I am Jewish—even though I don’t even really speak Hebrew.. A strange attempt to connect and/or show cultural knowledge?

@answerjill Bingo.

@answerjill Oy vey!

In my case, I am not offended. If someone believed that I was a drug dealer because of my race, then I would be offended!

@Blackberry – Have you seen this satirical website? http://blackpeopleloveus.com/

LMAO @answerjill… funny link!

@answerjill Yes, it’s hilarious; FutureMemory showed me. I also don’t get offended at this occurences, they’re just fun to watch.

Hey BB, when is Kwanzaa?

It’s because they’re fucktards with little or no social skills. Or maybe they like Eddie Murphy movies, I dunno!

I think in some cases it might be unconscious. We’ve all been socialized to imitate those around us, and some of us do it automatically.

It might also come from feeling caught between wanting to be {color | ethnicity | sex | culture | disability | religion | whatever}-blind and thinking it might be rude not to acknowledge your differences..

It’s sort of like when women’s liberation was getting rolling and all of a sudden a lot of women started acting as if they’d been raped when all the man had done was hold the door for them or offer to light a cigarette. Suddenly all those traditional little gentlemanly gestures that men had been taught growing up were like capital offenses to some women. It was sad to see a man freeze in the act of opening the car door for a woman, not knowing if she was going to thank him with a smile or bite his head off. Which is rude? which is acceptable? You can be paralyzed not knowing and find yourself messing up by trying too hard.

It’s no use to say “Just act natural.” By nature we’re little savages. Our social behavior is learned behavior, and learned within a certain region, culture, class, and ethnicity. But what’s socially acceptable is in a state of flux across time, by region, between and within the sexes, among and within and across races and cultures. It used to be enough to be polite according to your own society’s rules and accept the gestures of others in the same spirit, but Political Correctness has made a hash of that excellent principle. Somehow now it’s as if everybody expected everybody else to master a thousand behaviors and then apply the right one to their own self-identified category without letting on that they’d been noticing their category. This is too much for most of us and we are bound to mess up.

Best be as forgiving as possible unless someone is downright rude, and help the other guy out with a clue when you can.

“Somehow now it’s as if everybody expected everybody else to master a thousand behaviors and then apply the right one to their own self-identified category without letting on that they’d been noticing their category.”
Perfectly aassessed and articulated.
@Jeruba you said it for me, again!