How long after the 2nd date should the guy call?

Within the week, preferably no later than three days. How long has it been?

almost a week later. 5 days to be exact

Do you feel comfortable calling or emailing him? The guy doesn’t have to do all the pursuing. Did he pay for both dates? If so, maybe he would like you to call and set up a date.

Don’t put a time on it because it’s a date, and as @chyna said, if you’re not calling or emailing, you’re just as guilty for the length of time as he (or she) is. ;-)

I have been doing my part here as well. I mean when the date ended – we both agreed and said we had a great time. I was happy and he was too. So I was sure to hear back. I thought things were going well.

If he hasn’t called within 2 to 3 days then I’d assume that he’s not that interested and move on.

Two days, max.

@crazyandbeautiful He probably thinks you’re not interested because you haven’t called him yet!

If he didn’t specifically say he would be calling you, he could be waiting for you to call him. Who called who after the first date?

I would say that a week is a good amount of time to wait. Then, you should call or e-mail him and ask him out. If he hems and haws or has an excuse that seems implausible, don’t make a scene, just forget about him. You had a nice time, but maybe, even though he had a nice time too, he may be dating other people and trying to figure out which one he likes best. He may not dislike you, but he may like somebody else more.

@seaofclouds I called him to see if he wanted to go out. Yes I took a chance and he said yes.

He might be expecting you to be the one to call again since you called last time.

I’m going to have to go with “it’s his turn then” since @crazyandbeautiful called and set up the second date. I know, it should not be a game of who calls who, who called whom last, etc., but we all know it is. If he hasn’t called by now and you set up the last date, then I would say he wasn’t interested and move on.

I agree. I do like him but…will not chase after him. If he cannot call after a few days it shows he is not a man and
will not be able to have a relationship. At least I tell people whether or not it will work out.

Sorry to say, but if he hasn’t called after a week, he probably isn’t interested. You could try calling him and asking him out, as others have suggested, just in case he thinks it’s your turn to make an effort. But if he makes an excuse why he can’t go out sometime in the next week or so, then accept it and move on to someone else.

There are no rules to this, if the relationship seems to be going that route where it “has to be done by a certain time,” it’s probably not a genuine one anyway, b/c one or both people are doing/wanting what’s expected rather than what comes naturally.

Also, don’t discredit someone just because they didn’t call you within one week. I can think of three things here:
1. You should have just as much desire/obligation (if there is one) to call HIM within a week. The type of relationship you seem to want isn’t a game where it’s “someones turn” to call.

2. I just spoke to a friend who was going through a similar situation and turns out the guy didn’t call for a week b/c he’s a radio personality who is also heavily involved in philanthropy (So he was just plain busy). I told her to call him instead . . . she did, and they’ve been talking ever since.

3. You met him on an online dating site. He’s allowed to play the field. Unless you agreed to something where he would no longer use that site because of you. If not, I’d say it’s not necessarily reasonable to expect a call within one week, b/c imagine if you HAD to call back every person you met on the site and did a couple dates with. Maybe he just needs a little more time to devote to other people he met on the site, has a few options/things to explore, and thinks that you aren’t interested b/c you didn’t call . . .

I assume you have an email address for him? Or a way to contact him through the dating site? I would send him a brief email along the lines of, “I had a great time on Saturday and hope you did too. Let me know if you’d like to get together again.” If he doesn’t respond in a day or two, I would say he’s done. In which case, his loss – right? :~)

PS: Nice to see you on Fluther. Askville has gone further to hell in a handbasket.

Does the first part of your screen name have anything to do with your personality? Just askin’.
Mine doesn’t fit me at all.

LOL!!!

@mrrich it would of been nice of him to say that night after the date “i had a nice time with you but…i just dont see this going anywhere.” i think its rude not to tell someone or not call them back. but that is just my opinion.

@tedi no just email him on the dating website. i have his cell but…dont think i will call him back if he isnt willing to show any interest.

@crazyandbeautiful

yea, it would be nice but I’m not saying he’s gone, or that he’s not interested. All I’m saying is that there are many different reasons that could be the reason he hasn’t called . . . and that you should just be proactive and find out. And that you’ll miss out on many great things in life if you live by dumb rules like “oh he should definitely call you within two days” or “after one week it’s over,” says who?!

Just go for it, give him a call, you have nothing to lose, and much to gain.

True. The only reason I know he is interested is after we finished talking before I got out of his car he kissed me and I was taken by surprise. I was hoping to hear back from him by the beginning of the week. And when I did not I took that as well he was not interested and moved on. I just happen to like him and thought he liked me. I could be wrong. But…you are right if I do not call I may lose out.

I haven’t read up – but from my experience if the first date lead to a second one, then the guy calls right away the next day if he’s still interested.

@seazen And in your experience, if he hasn’t called?

He’s simply not into you.

I think you should look at the facts
He is not shy, if he had been he would not have called the second time.
He has not called because A.) He wants to, but he is not able to, or B.) He does not want to.
If A.) the problem is either temporary or permanent
If it is permanent, it does not matter anyway. You won’t hear from him.
If it is temporary you will eventually hear from him.
If it is B. what good is it for you to call him?

He did not seem shy when we went out both times. He seemed very open and easy to talk to. But I took the bull by the horns to ask for the 2nd date. He DID NOT CALL ME. I called HIM. And he said yes to a 2nd date. But if you read my other posts you will see I thought he was truly a nice guy. But not tell someone is just rude. My opinion as I said yesterday.

Well I took tedis advice and shot him a message. We will see what happens. If I hear nothing then his loss. And will keep looking. Oh well cannot say I tried.

@crazyandbeautiful – I hope it works out for the best. If you hear anything great, if not, it wasn’t meant to be.

According to “The Rules of Dating” (Playboy magazine, July 1994) by Tracey Pepper
“It is unwise to call any later than Wednesday to ask a woman out for the weekend. A woman will generally not allow herself to accept a date for Friday night when asked Friday afternoon.
Though we may be jumping the gun, we should warn you that you should call a woman every day after you start having sex with her regularly. You don’t have to stay on the phone for hours, but calling “just to check in” will eliminate a lot of tension in the relationship. Of course, some women may not want to speak with you every day. Ideally, they will let you know politely.
Do not call every day before you start having sex with her or you will appear needy and dependent. Also do not call her every day if she is sleeping with three other men.
Know your way around an answering machine If you call and she doesn’t answer, don’t hang up without leaving a message. (She knows it’s you.)
On the other hand, don’t call when you know she won’t be home and sigh, “Gee, I thought you’d be home.” She might be home after all. And not alone.
...
We (women) have found that most men hate to chat over the phone. We recommend you get over this immediately. Sustaining a conversation can be more important that sustaining an erection.
Let her be the first to say she has to go.
... And, oh yeah, listen to her. Really listen. If you’re confused, ask for clarification. Engage yourself in what she’s saying.
Women are less intimidated by lulls in a conversation than men are. In fact, sometimes we use them as a test to see how fast you can think on your feet. ...”

So, to answer your question, (sans sex), more than 1 day, not more than 3.