Wearing a different mask for others?
This is obviously a personal question and I don’t expect any detail to the answers but I’ve recently come to the realization that I tend to (unintentionally) act differently towards different people that are important to me. For example, with my parents [more so with my dad] I tend to act like a savvy, responsible, more-adult-than-I-really-am, and financially understanding person than I really am. That’s not to say I’m stupid and that I act irresponsible when I’m not around them, but it’s almost like I hide my true self from them and show them what they like so they stay satisfied.
With my friends I tend to act like a more exciting, interesting, funny, outgoing, adventurous person when I’m hanging out with them. I’m not saying I’m boring or lacking a personality but I tend to be a little more extrovert with them then I am when I’m by myself so I don’t bore them. Is this normal? Does anyone else out there do this? Maybe not to the same degree, but do any of you put on a “mask” to satiate different people you know according to what they like and accept? I’m not saying acting like a wannabe or like a totally different person than you really are, but just subtle differences.
i.e. being more extrovert when in reality you’re an introvert, talking more than you want when you’re more than happy to sit quietly, etc. etc.
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6 Answers
It’s absolutely normal to present different aspects of your personality to different people. You wouldn’t think of behaving in front of your boss the same way you do with your goofing around buddies, or the same way with your mother that you do with the barrista at the coffee shop.
@JilltheTooth is absolutely correct, you certainly wouldn’t act goofy or superior when talking to your boss, but on the other hand, it can become very exhausting if you are “putting on a show” for your friends. Real friends don’t need you to do that. Try being yourself a little bit more (maybe come at it slowly) and see how it goes. If your friends freak out or something, then you need to find people that have more similar tastes and temperment (or at least appreciate yours).
Well it’s not so much that they’re making me do things I don’t like. It’s just I feel like I’m way more reserved, shy, and quiet when I’m alone, and I don’t mind it. I find it comfortable just sitting there listening to my thoughts fly in my head. But I feel like I shouldn’t be that type of person around others, almost like it’s boring. But I understand what you guys are talking about. It makes sense.
I do it. I’m more gregarious when I’m with friends than I am when I’m by myself. I just don’t want people to think I’m rude or don’t like them, so I’m more outgoing with people.
It’s very normal. I’m hardly ever my true self when I’m at work or in public. I am a good actor, and most people think I’m jovial and sociable when I’m really not most of the time. It takes quite a bit of energy on my part, and it can be tiring, but there has always been a “juvenile” part of me that thinks people will not like me if I show my true self. It’s a remnant of my childhood that has stuck with me. I’ve always said that “I’m an introvert in a mostly extrovert world”. Lol.
@MRSHINYSHOES Yes! I feel the exact same way! It’s tiring and you’re a better actor than me because sometimes it shows in my personality and people notice it. I try to cover it up, but sometimes it’s just tiring acting a different way towards people so that they don’t think you’re odd. I totally understand the juvenile part. I’m the same way. It’s hard and down right exhausting a lot of the time.
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