Parents: Do you find it painful or embarassing to ask your friends and cowokers to buy stuff when your child's school asks you to sell for their fundraisers?

I don’t have kids and I doubt very much that I would bother people with it if I did.

It depends on the fundraiser. One of my son’s previous school’s had a walk for Diabetes and people could sponsor him for the walk. For that one, I asked people to sponsor him for the walk because it was being handled by the American Diabetes Association.

The fund raisers with candy and gift wrap go straight to the recycle bin and I donate to the school in other ways. All of our family is very far away and most of the people I know here have their own children pushing the same fundraisers.

The schools don’t actually make that much money off the fundraisers, so we just give the school money or donate other school supplies that they need.

Nah. The rule is, you buy something from my kid, I buy something from your kid. Gotta love those useless trinkets and overpriced tins of tiny amounts of food! The tins are kind of cool and I like to keep them for use for other things.

I didn’t mind doing it and don’t mind buying something to help the school. The goods are usually not something I would buy otherwise.

Family, friends and co-workers are now off limits to my kids sales efforts. There was a time where we all were trading dollars twice a year and just said what is the point and told our kids to go shake down the neighborhood instead.

It’s part of having kids isn’t it?

I think this fundrasing stuff is awful. The only decent one I have ever seen was my nephew’s schoo lsold gift cards, and I guess the stores kicked back a percent to the school. I bought a few hundrend worth of GC’s from Target and some others. Did not cost me a dime more than if Ishopped at the store, I was willing to spend much more, and I was not buying something I would regret or feel gouged.

I would recommend just send an email that you left the magazine in the break room, and anyone who is interested can order from it, or give a direct donation. I thinkmostof those things the school gets 50%, so writing a check for half what you are willing to spend results in the same amount to the school. Or, for the whole amount, but not buying anything, gives them double.

I don’t like selling for fund raisers and try to avoid buying. I believe in helping the school but don’t subject me to items and foods I have no use for.

I was embarrassed but our staff room was full of this kind of thing so we all did it. I was proud to ask for donations when my daughter shaved her head for cancer. I was relieved when kids finished school though!

I used to write the school a check for a donation rather than sell the stuff.

At work, we have a policy where you can send out an e-mail letting people know what’s being sold, and where the book will be. You’re not allowed to solicit each person.

Don’t have any kids but always got hit up by the nieces and nephews, etc. Don’t be embarrassed. I expected to get hit up and didn’t mind it at all.

I have never bothered coworkers. If my child was selling something I thought they might actually like/use, I would inform them about the sale, but it was a no-pressure kind of thing.

I have almost always had my son do his own selling. When he was very young, I had him pick people (mostly family and very good friends) out of my email contacts and word an email for them that I would type and send. I felt that this was a way for him to do the real selling and for people to not feel pressured to buy. Granted, he went to a hippie school that sold stuff like locally grown apples and fare trade chocolate and coffee, etc… but he was always one of the highest sellers in his elementary school.

No. i think everyone expects this, especially the parents that have their own children. i must say i do not like “pushy” parents that insist you buy a candy bar for the cause.

I know what it’s like, i used to sell Krispy Kreme doughnuts, for 50 cents a dozen, for my Boy Schout Troop. my parents were out of the picture. i did the selling myself.

I’m kind of surprised at all the parents complaining about the fundraisers here.

They maybe overpriced, but damn it, they teach kids that not everything is just handed over. Way to go, people who throw out the brochures and just write checks.

And also, you know the kids that don’t sell anything generally get picked on, right?

@poofandmook I agree with your sentiments which is why I insist my kids actually fund raise. My kids caught on quickly and my youngest sold over $250.00 in the front office of his school alone and my oldest did double in just a few hours hitting up local business who are more than eager to support scouting.

I was a scout master for years and it is really appreciated how much people are willing to donate to the organization. Thanks

@poofandmook I see it completely differently. I talk to my son about it and explain how the fundraisers work. We’ve discussed that they school gets more help from us donating directly to them than by buying things we don’t need. If I was willing to spend $50 on the fundraiser, the school would be lucky to get half that. Instead, I can give that whole $50 directly to the school. Wether I buy something I don’t need or I give money straight to the school, it is the same. As far as going out and selling things, my son has no one to sell things to here. Our closest family member is over 1000 miles away and all of our friends have children in the same school as my son, so they are all selling the same things. My family will donate money to his school before they will buy things they don’t need. So the school isn’t losing on potential sales from him not selling anything.

Also, my son has never been picked on for not selling anything. Our schools have a fundraiser every other month. I think they should focus on finding better ways of gathering funds than the fundraisers and I have been talking to them about it at our PTO meetings.

Scouting is a bit different since not every kid in the area is going to be doing it, so it’s more likely to have friends in the area that aren’t selling the same thing.

@Seaofclouds: Your situation is a bit different. Obviously in small towns and such where everyone has kids and they’re all selling stuff, it’s a bit difficult. Also why he may not have been picked on. But I know where I grew up, in both Michigan and New Jersey, those things were another way to rate the popular kids. The unpopular kids never sold much, and got picked on.

I’ll concede that a lot of it does depend on where you live.

@poofandmook I’ll agree it depends on where you lived. Where I grew up, the kids that sold the most were more likely to get picked on for being kiss ups.

UGH, yes. Every time I have to make those phone calls, I usually start out with “It’s that time of year again…” We don’t do a ton of fundraisers, but we always have the “donations” for the read-a-thon and poinsettia sales for the choir.

@poofandmook I agree that it teaches kids how to be responsible. Fundraisers is a way to show kids that in order for to get things done, they’ll have to work for it. Fundraising is also like a competition. I’m sixteen and I remember always competing against my classmates in elementary school. Normally, the one with the most in the end got the best prizes. Kids who want to get the most prizes asked their parents to help sell the stuff. Is it embarassing? It depends on the parent you ask, what is the cause, and what the school is selling. i can understand that it can be that way for some parrents because, what if a kid ask her dad to sell AVON or girl scout cookies? Some dads may go for it because they want to be the most supportive and want their child to succeed. That may not apply to all. I know men who get irritated because they have big ego and fear they will lose their manliness if they sell things at their job. Now for mom’s there’s a different answer. Alot of mom’s won’t feel ashamed at all for helping sell fundraisers for their kid’s. Majority of the time the mom’s are the one’s to sell the good’s. I’ll admit, fundraisiing can be a pain for adults because they would cut out some of their time, to do the work for something that would pointless. In the end your child may not win anything at all. It’s good for the kids but a waste to the adults.

The more I hear about this the more disgusted it makes me.

@poofandmook I disagree with you also. Selling people crap, and having them pay ridiculously high prices is not a great lesson to me. Being smart and logical about money, spending, and giving, sounds like a better lesson in my opinion. Why go through the song and the dance, and all of the administrative work?

@JLeslie especially if it’s the parents doing it. I never called it a learning experience for my kids.

@faye: I was speaking generally… not about the parents doing it.

@Da1flash It’s funny that you bring up the prizes kids get for selling a bunch of stuff. I’d rather teach my son how to save his money and buy things for himself than for him to think he should get a reward for raising money/or helping a good cause.

@JLeslie: It’s no different than a bake sale… do you spew bile and loathing at bake sales too? Tricky trays?

man, now I’M the one getting irritated.

So glad my father supported my school fundraisers, silly or overpriced, because he knew that the poor kids like me got to go on school trips because of those “disgusting” fundraisers. He was willing to suck it up and let go of his pride to sell overpriced wrapping paper and candy for me because he knew it was important. Goodness gracious. Glad some of you weren’t MY parents.

@poofandmook : my daughter is 3 so she is not doing any selling herself, nor do i think the kids in the class even understand what a fundraiser is or how it works.

@jca: I should note specifically that I think it’s ridiculous to send a 3 year old home with stuff to sell. Just sayin’.

I refuse to do it. I donate money to the school.

@poofandmook Why is donating money any less important than participating in a fundraiser? They both end up with the same outcome. I could understand being upset with someone that didn’t think the schools needed the funds, but if the school’s are raising the funds either way, why is one more or less important than the other?

@Seaofclouds Kids are going to think that its always about the prizes until they find out the reason why they’re fundraising. Majority of kids don’t even know what majority of the fundraisers about. You’re right it’s more important to do fundraisers to benefit the unforunate instead of doing something for a prize. I always used to reject prizes or give them up because it meant more to me to do something and not get anything in return.For the parents, it’s good to support the children but it also benefits to save money instead of wasting. Just don’t forget to teach the kids that in order to recieve, you have to give- but not out of proportion.

I consider this a form of pandering and I have never participated in it as a result. People are made to feel obligated to buy things they neither want nor need. It’s an abuse of collegial relationships and it’s yet another financial burden pressed upon families. I always just made a donation and that saved me time, effort, and burdening my social relationships in ways that are unnecessary.
And what pisses me off about groups such as the Girl Scouts is that the majority of those funds raised go to executive administration salaries. In my opinion you could do so much more if you had your own private group and agreed to contribute equally for your children for their crafts and activities. In fact I know this is true since as an adult I belong to groups that do this and we always have plenty of money to fund our activities.

I hate it because most of the shit they sell is… well… shit. I’m not afraid to say no.

The one place where I did have to do fundraisers, did it via a flower sale in spring—when everyone is planting their gardens. I used the product, too, so I felt fine about asking others. I’d say at least half the people who bought the flowers bought a lot, which indicates to me they actually wanted the stuff. I would take my son or daughter around with me, and have them do the ask. I figured it was a good way for them to meet the neighbors and get a sense of community. In the eight or nine years of doing it, I became the best seller, mostly because I kept records.

If I was asked to sell crap, I would just make a donation rather than spend my time doing that kind of thing.

@Joybird : you are so right about the Girl Scouts. If you look at Charitynav.org you will see how much the heads of the organization make, meanwhile the little girl scouts are out selling cookies for that (and that’s not the only charity where the top makes tons of money).

@poofandmook I apologize if I was rude. I would prefer a bake sale actually. I make or buy what I want, and sell it to whoever shows up. Although, people are trying to be healthier now. Anyway, it seems less like peddling than the wrapping paper. But, back to the wrapping paper and the chocolates, again, the chocolates I don’t want around my waistline, and I rarely have gifts to wrap. If it were more practical, like Target, Chili’s, and Home Depot cards, I’m in.

My girlfriend used to put fund raisers together for her daughter’s school. No one really enjoyed the events or the work. It was more like a party, with silent auction, stuff like that, then their kids selling stuff. It never made much sense to me since it was a private school. Just make the tuition a little higher and leave everyone alone. I guess I am negative about the obligation more than anything. And, I really hate to think some kids are teased over something like this.

A donation makes far more sense, because the school only get ½ or less of the money raised and the merchandise is usually inferior.

This year we got hit with four fundraisers, at once. We passed on the entertainment books. We did participate in “Invest-in-a-Kid” (donations only, nothing to sale and completely tax deductible. The school keeps 100% of the funds) and Boy Scout Popcorn sales. We passed on the fundraiser for Karate Class, selling discount cards to local restaurants. We made a donation, instead.

We only ask certain people and do not bother families that are selling stuff, too. The worst was the entertainment books. They were pricey and mostly for things that were not around our local area. The sale pretty much flopped.

To clarify one point I wrote poorly, they did the parties and silent auctions in lieu of their children having to sell things.

The only fundraiser we participate in is Girl Scout Cookies because they’re like crack and basically sell themselves.

Everything else we simply decline and make a donation.

The reason why fundraisers are different than school donations is that most times, the fundraisers go specifically toward field trips and such that individuals have to pay for when the time comes around. My dad was a single parent making not nearly enough to live. If it weren’t for those fundraisers, I would have never gone on most of the field trips offered.

School donations go to… the school. Not the students. There IS a difference.

@poofandmook but you can make a donation towards whatever it is the fundraiser is supporting, can’t you? Or, do they require you must buy whatever they are selling?

@JLeslie: From my experience, the school doesn’t guarantee where donated funds will be directed.

@poofandmook But if someone gives the person selling wrapping paper $20, they can’t just add it onto the total?

It is against company standards to solicit where I worked, and that included internally as well. Despite this, within the depts., parents would send out an e-mail letting their co-workers know that they had a sign-up sheet for their children’s fundraiser. If it was something I was interested in, I’d swing by and ask them to bring their child in to the office so that I could buy it from the child. It may be about raising the money, but I firmly believe in developing the child’s interpersonal skills at the appropriate age. Three is not a good starting point.

Asking a parent of a toddler to raise money for a school or group by soliciting co-workers and neighbors just doesn’t sit well in my book. If they were to arrange a fund-raiser at a local store and stuffed a flyer in my mail box, it would feel less intimidating for all parties.