Spoiler Alert: What's the best way to let them know there's no Santa?

Let them figure it out on their own…

I don’t remember how I stopped believing in Santa. I’m pretty sure I just figured it out on my own. I wasn’t traumatized or angry or anything so, I suggest that.

I figured it out on my own and asked my parents about it. Once I did this, they told me the truth about how the presents get under the tree and asked me not to tell my brother so that he could figure it out on his own as well. Once I knew the truth, I was allowed to stay up late and help them get everything ready for the morning.

I plan on letting my son figure it out on his own as well. He’s 8 now and starting to figure it out, so I’m sure he’ll be asking more questions this Christmas.

Don’t teach it to them in the first place..since that is not an option for you, I’d say you can tell ‘em about how you’ve got this secret to share with them but it’s only for adults and big kids and once they know it, they have to treasure this truth and never tell younger kids, blah blah blah and make it all exciting.

I vote for letting them figure it out on their own.

I was 7 or 8 when I woke up in the middle of the night on Xmas eve and found my mom wrapping all the ‘santa’ gifts at the kitchen table. lol

I was really bummed out, I totally bought into the fantasy, leaving out cookies and milk and carrots for the reindeer. lol

My daughter figured it out on her own around the same age with less trauma than I expereinced. haha

@Simone_De_Beauvoir The whole Santa thing ended up being totally unintentional. Seeing Santa at the tree farm, hearing about it from kids at school, being asked who the guy in the red hat was. I figured it was my obligation as a member of society to play along. It’s fun for them, I think, and I remember it being fun for me too. I don’t recall being traumatized, but I was let down when I found out there wasn’t any magic involved.

At this point I’m leaning toward them figuring it out on their own, and using your “big kid” approach once they come to me about it.

I think it will make it worse if you tell them. If they find out for themselves and don’t let you know that they know, they can still pretend.

@marinelife Good point.

As they get older they will gradually realise it is make believe and one of their friends will one day tell them the truth and Santa will be gone but Christmas will always remain.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with kids believing in Santa, and I would gladly play along with the belief as a parent. Let magic exist for them – until it doesn’t anymore. That said, I figured out around five that Santa wasn’t real, because why would Santa sign the tag on the present with my mom’s handwriting? Then again, I can’t remember a time I actually fully believed he was real, anyway.

The easiest way to tell them is to ask them what they think about Santa, and meet them where they are.

My youngest asked me if it were true, and I asked her what she thought. She said that she didn’t think it was real because it would be too hard for one person to get into everyone’s house, and what happens when there is no chimney or there’s a fire in the fireplace. I explained sometimes parents are the “helpers” of magic for their children, and that when you have your first child, you are issued a bunny suit, a tooth fairy wand, and directions on how to make “The Big 3” magic for your children. She asked to see the directions and the bunny suit, and I told her that if I showed them to her, I would have to kill her, because I took an oath never to reveal what’s in the directions, but that when she had children of her own, she would get a bunny suit and directions of her own. She burst out laughing, and said, “You’re making all this up. You’d never kill me.” I told her the magic was that just about every kid’s parents made Santa happen for them, and getting that many grown-ups to do the same thing at the same time was pretty amazing, and really fun. She said she wondered why Santa only brought her one present, unwrapped, and why everyone else seemed to get all of their presents from Santa. She asked how all the gifts got under the tree, and I told her that I wasn’t going to tell her that, but if she watched carefully, she would figure it out. (The Christmas ritual did not involve waking up Christmas morning and finding gifts under the tree; it was much more complicated.)

She decided not to tell her sister, but to wait until her sister mentioned it to her. They had pretty much decided there was no Santa, but the one gift he bought was always something that would cost more money than what we would spend, and that’s what made them think “maybe.” It was two years before she figured it out, and her older sister never really did.

Ironically, she has a friend whose parents had a story similar to “The Big 3” and when she found out about it, she was quite excited to tell them that I told her the same thing. That was part of the magic…

What…...do you mean….....there…..is…...no…...Santa.. (sob)

I actually never believed in santa, but I always left milk and cookies anyway. It was a game to me and it was awesome.
Just because they know there’s no santa, doesn’t mean you can’t continue to have fun at christmastime.

Let them figure it out on their own and it is ok for them to still believe in Santa way after the other kids seem to have already figured it all out. Ask yourself do you really want to tell them and watch their little world break into a million pieces?

I myself still believed in Santa at age 11. I don’t remember my Mum ever asking as questions about Santa. Children our age had already figured out Santa wasn’t real and people called them spoil sports because others still believed. We didn’t stop doing stockings until we were age 13 (me) and 11 (my brother). That year mum asked us if that year could be our last stockings, she had figured out we knew Santa wasn’t real. The stocking that year seemed to be based more around Mum than Santa, sitting there going through it and being totally amazed at all the amazing little things Mum had managed to find. Sometimes I still miss those Christmas’s and im 22 now.

Look people, you can either dis on Jesus or you can dis on Santa. You can’t dis on both.

leave the big guy alone, jesus traumatizes waaay more folks than santa does

When they ask, tell them the truth. My parents always told me it was a fun, make believe story, and I raised my kids and grandkids the same way.

Yeah, let them figure it out. Some kids take longer than others. I figured it out when I was 22. (Kidding!) It’s magic for them…no point in spoiling it too soon.

When they are old enough to seriously ask if Santa is real, they are old enough to get an honest answer. I don’t mean the “How does Santa fit down the chimney” question, but the “Mom I have to ask you something. Is Santa really real?” question.

My husband and I could tell our daughter was very suspicious a couple of Christmases ago. She didn’t come out and say anything until after the holiday smart kid but we’d decided that if she asked, we’d be honest. She was three months shy of turning 9 years old, and wasn’t upset or mad at all. She was actually amazed that her uptight Mom and Dad had been giving her the best gifts all along. It probably helped that “Santa” had given her a pet rabbit that year!

I told her Santa is a fun tradition for a lot of families, and that he represents the good feeling you get when you give a gift without expecting anything in return. I reassured her that she’d still get Christmas presents and a stocking and also asked if she’d like to help us keep the tradition going for her younger brothers by being our little elf. She loves being in on the secret. Our boys are 7 and 5, so I figure we’ve got maybe 2 or 3 years left before all three of them really know what’s going on.

I think most kids handle the Santa revelation just fine. Sometimes not, but that seems to be the exception rather than the rule. You know your kids best, so follow your instincts and do what you think would be best for them.

@BarnacleBill Thank you.

So it goes. Not explaining unless they come to me about it.

Age 7 is too early an age and you stated they are young for their age.

I would leave well enough alone. when they come to you asking questions, THEN is the time to gently tell them the truth.

Let them be a child as long as possible.

Stop lieing to them!

Just let them believe until they figure it out. They’re only seven. What’s wrong with them being a kid and believing? Now, if they were 16, I’d say something. Kids usually figure it out by age ten though.

By letting them know (when they old enough) that Santa really existed, and that we still commemorate Nikolaos of Myra’s wonderful idea of secret gift giving.