Ugh ..ok I wasn’t going to comment on this question but here goes… Please bare with me, it is long and I’m trying to explain a bit in the first part. I will try to give just the main details.
I have been with my partner for almost 10 years. Several years ago she was diagnosed with Lupus SLE and, over time, her labido sort of dried up into nothing. Sex was not something that determined our relationship ..so I was ok with that. Plus, I was quite ill myself as well (brain tumors) – yeah, we are a pair lol.
Anyways, I started playing an online game 3 years ago and met someone via gaming. This was/is not normal for me ..I certainly wasn’t looking for it either. At first, I was confused at my feelings. I was sexually and emotionally drawn to her. I confided in my partner about everything. We came to the agreement that it was ok for me to have a relationship with this person ..while still remaining with my partner. This person lives a few provinces away from me. We have never met in person. We have talked via voice chat, video chat, typed chat, email and sometimes written letters. We became very close ..she was like part of the family. She lives with her life partner (who was aware and ok with our relationship as well) and their young son. As far as I know ..this type of thing was new for both of us.
Things were going well until this past year. And I’ve had a very difficult time getting her to actually connect with me. There have been plenty of reasons and excuses she’s given me. But, basically, things just seemed to stop. Not even a call or an email for my birthday in the spring.
I’ve never heard of this Fadeaway until reading this question. It seems very familiar to me in regards to what is happening in my life right now. I did nothing to this person to cause this behaviour. I know she has been under alot of stress in the last year ..which seemed to change her completely (or at least bring up old bad habits perhaps). In the last 3 months, I’ve sent 3 short messages and one long one this week ..pretty much begging for something, some inkling that she gives a damn about how this looks and feels on my end. I’m feeling used and discarded. My partner is upset because I am hurt.
So ..I think the Fadeaway is horrible. I believe in honesty. I’d rather be told than just left to figure out what happened. Maybe I’m biased because I am dealing with this right now – and I’ve never done a Fadeaway to someone else. I can see several reasons for this type of situation to occur, especially in a new relationship. But in a solid established relationship ..no. Not unless there is abuse or threat involved.
After a few years, I think I deserve some type of explanation and closure. And that’s saying alot ..because it’s hard for me to acknowledge that I deserve something in the first place.
Thank you for reading…lol now I’m nervous. But there it is.