Should I be getting my boyfriend a christmas present or not?

Is he going to come over to your house on Christmas day? The act of giving gifts for Christmas is really secular. I usually have a gift for everyone who comes to my house over the holidays, and I make it a point to use generic wrapping paper for the ones for people who don’t celebrate Christmas. You don’t have to have a reason to give someone a gift.

There are Christians in India, and while non-Christian Indians may not celebrate Christmas themselves, it’s not a foreign concept.

If he’s coming over on Christmas eve or Christmas day, it would be nice if there was something under the tree for him.

@BarnacleBill Well unfortunately we can’t see each other on Christmas Day. I did mention to Mum that someone said we should invite him over for our family lunch or something, at first Mum was like why not but then I explained it to her. I know my family are welcoming but I can imagine them being over welcoming and over-interested since he isn’t a kiwi. Mum said inviting him for Christmas would be awkward since no one has met him yet. I’m aware some Indians celebrate Christmas but my boyfriend’s family doesn’t. We will probably see each other sometime around Christmas but just not 100% sure when and when I do see him I don’t want him to feel a bit weird-ed out if I give him something and he has nothing for me (not like im expecting anything), I just want to spend time with him.

About inviting him over at Christmas I can imagine my Grandmother sitting next to him asking a million questions about India & my Uncle sitting there with a look on his face along the lines of “what are his intensions”. I can even see the map book getting pulled off the bookshelf.

LOL. Indian families are about the same. I met the mother of one of my daughter’s friends over the summer, and she asked all sorts of questions!

My daughter’s girlfriend is Jewish, and I had a Christmas stocking for her last year, and gifts. Nothing very expensive – some cool earrings and a t-shirt. She was excited that there was a package for her under our tree. It made her feel included.

There are some really great t-shirts on www.thinkgeek.com and on sheldonshirts.com

How long have you been together and is it serious? If so, you should give him a present. You probably plan to celebrate December 25th (whatever you call it) in the future, and if you want him in your future you need to start being included him in all aspects of your life. If it’s a new relationship and/or not serious, I see no reason for it.

You can always mention it to him. Tell him you want to include him your tradition and he can tell you how he feels about it.

@psychocandy Been together since June, known each other since last December. He’s 951km away at the moment on a long term basis (2yrs) for work and is only up here on rare occasions. If I could get full time work where he is then I’d be there too. Now most of our communication is by text, phone call or web-cam. We became long distance in September. I’d like to think it is serious but then again I don’t know how serious a long-distance relationship can be. I’ve been thinking to ask him about Christmas, I just don’t know how to word it all.

If you invite him for Christmas dinner, and tell him your whole family will be there, and he agrees to come, then you’ll have an inkling that he’s commited to making the relationship work. Otherwise, it’s not there yet.

No ,you dont have to. I wouldn’t do it. Why?

@psychocandy I agree: asking him is the best idea. On the other hand, giving gifts to people you love is something that doesn;t need a special event for.

Surely, this guy is familiar with how Americans celebrate Christmas and its meaning.

Buy the gift.

You may be pleasantly surprised at the outcome.

How long has he been in the US? If its more than a few years, I’d say get him one anyway. Just give it to him next time you see him after Christmas, I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.

If you’d feel good gifting him something then do it. You don’t need to be a Christian in order to accept a gift. Our family isn’t religious but we use Christmas as a time to celebrate each other, give gifts because we like to but can’t afford to much the rest of the year. I’m sure your bf has met or talked to enough people who treat Christmastime similarly to where he’d be flattered by your gift, he might even be planning to get you something too.

Hi all, Actually he isn’t in the U.S.A hehe… We are in New Zealand, He has been here 3yrs.

@silvermoon Then you BOTH have fabulous accents! I love it. You could just make him some type of cookies or sweets, most guys like that and it isn’t too serious, plus if he is with you on or near Christmas then he won’t feel left out if others are exchanging gifts and like most of the others have said, you can give gifts to anyone at any time and it doesn’t have to do with Christmas at all, it’s just because you like them. Hopefully if he likes you and he likes cookies, then everything will work out just fine.

@Kardamom Haha accents – I don’t think I have a accent. He (bf) recently said to me that sometimes I sound indian (i’m no where near being even partically indian) I just said thats because I know too many indians or maybe he’s starting to turn into a kiwi haha. Hmm cookies is a good idea, there was a cookie idea that jumped into my brain when I read that – don’t think he would have tried them before and atleast they don’t include seafood.

@silvermoon I don’t know if you get to see this American TV show called the Big Bang Theory or not, but one of the characters called Rajesh Koothrappali (played by the actor Kunal Nayyar) has the cutest accent! You can see an interview with him here

Glad you liked the cookie idea. : )

@Kardamom I loveeeeee the BBT (Big Bang Theory). I think Raj is ABSOLUTLY awesome! I get the biggest laughs from him… my family just look at me as if im nuts.

@silvermoon I’m so glad that you like that show. It’s my favorite! Do you like to eat Indian food? I’m a vegetarian so I eat it quite often. My favorites are aloo ghopi, dosas and carrot chutney and I love the desserts galoob jamun, kheer and gajar ka halwa. If you haven’t tried any of these, you must!

@Kardamom I don’t think i’ve tried “REAL” indian food. A little addicted to butter chicken and tried tikka masala once… lovely flavouring but not to my bodies liking. I have never heard of any of those that you mentioned, sounds challenging :).

@silvermoon luckily in the city where I live, there are quite a lot of Indian restaurants. I was introduced to it about 20 years ago and have loved it ever since. It is pretty spicy, but I like that. The desserts, on the other hand are much less sweet than American or European (and I suppose New Zealand) desserts, which I prefer.

Here’s a recipe for gajar ka halwa (which is a slightly sweet carrot dessert made with milk and cardamom) It’s pretty easy and extremely delicious.

And here is a recipe for kheer (Indian rice pudding with rosewater and cardamom). It’s also pretty easy to make and is way better than any other rice pudding I’ve ever eaten.

Aloo ghopi is a curry made with potatoes and cauliflower in a tangy tomatoey sauce. Dosas are kind of like very large crepes and they’re usually filled with potatoes and peas (kind of like an Irish boxty) and they’re served with one or more chutneys. It’s making my mouth water just thinking about it. : )

@Kardamom I must admit… they all sound very strange haha

@silvermoon Strange yes, but delicious Yes Yes Yes! Does your boyfriend eat traditional Indian food? I forgot to mention that I adore Ben Kingsley too!

@Kardamom I actually have no idea what my boyfriend eats but I do know that he has a different curry everynight and that it always appears the same colour as the previous night lol.

@silvermoon Me and one of my friends, who also loves Indian food have a saying: The more like baby poop it looks, the better it tastes! Of course this ONLY refers to Indian food. It does tend to look all the same color, but many of the curries taste quite different from each other and it’s all super-delicious! Ask him if he likes my favorite aloo ghopi. : )

P.S. Sorry to have over-run your thread with talk of yummy Indian food. I still think you should bake your boyfriend something for Xmas, though.