Are there any behaviors by a mother that are so destructive and immoral that it's ok if their child gives them no respect?

Absolutely. My father has let his drug addictions and alcoholism effect his family in bad ways. Yet somehow he acts surprised that I don’t treat him “the way a father should treat a son.”

Of course this is an extreme example, but even for little things, it’s difficult to respect someone who says one thing and does another.

Of course. Children always respecting parents only applies to normal parenthood lol. Obviously, if the parents try to harm or kill the child etc., no respect should be given.

I think disobedience from these children would have been more than defensible in this shoplifting case but the girls were only 10 and 12 so no one could have really expected it from them. That’s kind of a messed up thing for a mom to do? To get them to steal for her; to count on her kids’ feelings of respect and obedience to in order to do it?

Parents (should) have to earn the respect they’re given. Them having a child doesn’t give them an automatic right to it regardless. I don’t care if they’re “good” or “normal”, or wonderful parents, they still aren’t owed respect. No one is, in anything. Everyone has to earn it from anyone, and anyone forcing it isn’t respected, is obeyed; and that’s different.

At least, that’s how I see it.

So I think even not doing anything to earn the respect means a parent might not get it. (Anyone might not get it.) I do think most all parents do earn the respect of their children, but since in no way is a child obligated to give it, I don’t think only certain things allow the child to right to relinquish it.

Respect is not something that should be expected or demanded, but should be earned by modeling adult behavior, consistency, and providing guidance. IMHO, people who demand it, generally don’t deserve it. It’s almost a form of bullying when you demand it.

I can see not going out of my way to do things I’d do for those I respect but I would actively disrespect, I wouldn’t go offensive.

Ehh, I think so. I love my mother dearly, but I have lost a great deal of respect for her in recent years. I’ve always respected my parents, not because you’re supposed to, but because I always genuinely did. Not so much lately.

If a parent abuses a child in any form ..then no.

If a parent’s actions are not worthy of respect, then none should be given.

Generally children love and respect their parents whatever their faults but there are limits. Some behaviour can destroy a child and the only way to survive is for them to cut themselves off emotionally (if they can) and to get out. This is a very rare and very extreme scenario.

I remember in high school and college that some teachers would say things like “you start off with an A in this class, but it is up to you whether you lose it or maintain it.” Respect for parents is a little like that starting A grade: the default assumption is that they deserve respect, but a succession of failures can change that in a hurry.