Is domestic abuse innate, or built into us?
People seem to do horrible things to each other, and quite regularly. In other societies, women will burn themselves to death because they are under too much pressure. There are places where women are essentially slaves.
It’s not just women, too. Men seem to feel privileged to bang around their sons when they do something wrong. Physical “discipline” is used in the military and many other places, I’m sure. It used to be used in schools.
Boys and girls get raped and suffer psychological abuse and this results in all kinds of psychological problems later in life.
I don’t get it. Was this always normal? How did it get to be normal? Is it a relic of days when we couldn’t speak and so we had to use physical signs to communicate? Is it innate? Or is it something we learned somewhere along the way, and if so, when?
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It was not normal in my family when I was growing up and it’s not normal in my family now.
Was it upbringing or genetics or was I just lucky? I can’t say. I can say I’m glad to be in this group.
No.
It is a byproduct of faulty belief systems, certain cultural ideologies and most of all immature defense mechanisms resulting in poor coping abilities when under stress.
Just another great argument for self awareness and healing work for those that react instead of act from a place of conscious awareness.
No way it’s innate..if it were, everyone would do it – not just (for the most part) one gender against another.
The caveman is thought to be the very first domestic altercation. hitting his woman over the head with a club started it all. its all gone downhill, since then.
There was none of this whatsoever in my house growing up so I guess it can’t be “built into us” right? And there’s none of it now. It’s the only way to live, really.
I don’t believe it. I once had a partner where we spent 4 wonderful years together and not once did we ever curse at each other or call each other a derogatory name. I was from a very verbally abusive family but he wasn’t, “The Cycle of Abuse” seemed to pass us over.
Human beings, as a species, have a rough, wild and sometimes dark history of butchering each other. Perhaps it’s not innate in the sense that there’s an “abusive” gene floating around, but a part of me thinks there is something intrinsic about violence.
As much as I want to say violent, abusive behavior is bad, horrible learned behavior, I’d be lying if I said that I’ve never had that red gloss over my eyes when I’m extremely angry. I highly doubt there is anyone alive in this world who has never had the urge to smack someone for any given reason.
One thing I can say, is that it is a very often, common phenomenon is for women to be abused.
@Disc2021
Yes, while some of what you say is true, still, we have the ability to rise above our petty animal natures.
I have evolved enough to now be able to see and catch and, most importantly laugh at my egos shennenigans when they arise.
One can express a rejection of bad behavior without ego coming apart at the seams.
I like to refer to this as a high quality F—k off! lol
I have proof in my lifetime that words do hurt as much as and any blow and they can cause feelings to change, never to be reawakened. I wish so badly that people would believe this up front and do all they can when angry and/or arguing to leave the names out of it
@Coloma Oh I most certainly agree; man never has to be violent. I think, however, the instinct is still there, and it takes a strong man to control it.
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