Are you insecure about your looks?

Your definately not the only one. I have such a bad problem about that. I seem so self-conscience, and people tell me not to worry about it. i cant’t help it though.

You and your girlfriend are both pretty! I know.
As for myself,I am confident,but will carry a hairbrush next time.XD

Yes, I hate the way I look.

Yes I am very insecure about my looks. I absolutely hate the way I look to the nth degree

I wouldn’t say “insecure”, but I am critical of my looks. Especially since I’m starting to age and even more because I’ve been lucky enough to look much younger than I am for a long time. It’s finally catching up with me now and I hate that.

I try to keep it in perspective. I look at photos of myself taken when I was younger and I look amazing in them, but at the time they were taken, I couldn’t see that. I’d like to hope that in another 10 or 20 years I will look at photos of myself now and feel the same way. It would be even better if I could look at photos of myself taken now, right now, and be as charitable toward myself. Unfortunately, I’m not that evolved. LOL

I definitely think that one of the things that has come to me with age is a lessening of my insecurities about the way I look. I have spent time worrying that I didn’t measure up to the other moms or employees or girls, but the older I get the less it matters to me. I figure I am holding up much better than I thought I would be, heck I didn’t even think I would see 40! I can fit into what I want to wear, my fiancee finds me sexy, and everything is pretty much where it should be, as my old man used to say, anything else is just gravy.

Does anyone know someone who doesn’t regularly have some concern about the way that they look? I don’t, other than really young children.

@lucillelucillelucille lol, what was wrong with your hair? It looked good to me (or are you just joking?).

@mama_cakes It looked like I got assaulted by firemen XD

@lucillelucillelucille hahaha..and you did! Greasy firemen!

@SuperMouse Yep, your partner’s feelings can be a big help. My boyfriend makes it crystal clear that he thinks I am gorgeous whether I lose or gain a few pounds and whether or not I have a few more grey hairs. He frequently says “Honey, there are 18 year olds who would kill to look like you.” Whether those 18 year olds really feel that way or not doesn’t matter. It’s the fact that he really thinks they do. He’s not a man to just say things to make me happy and he’d tell me if I didn’t look good to him, so I know he’s not blowing smoke up my posterior. He really thinks I’m the bee’s knees and that’s awesome. As long as he thinks I’m beautiful, I’m doing alright. Same thing with my kids. The day my daughter put my photo on her Facebook page so her friends could “see how pretty my Mom is” I felt just about perfect.

Not really. It depends on my mood, but usually I think I’m fine and there’s nothing wrong with my looks.

Would it help to know we think you all look good to us guys?

I went through several phases where I was insecure about the gap in between my two front teeth, the moles on my forehead and my big ears. I quickly got over those insecurities though.

My weight tends to fluctuate often and when I gain, it goes straight to my face and to my stomach and I sometimes become self-conscious over it.
Other than that, I have a diagnosed rash on my upper arms called Keratosis pilaris that I can’t fucking stand and have a difficult time managing.

Sometimes I wish my breasts were larger, my ass was larger and I didn’t have man hands, but what I think are my imperfections are generally ignored by my friends because that surface bullshit aren’t things they care about. They only care about what’s beneath it and as far as being involved with someone romantically, if they love you, they don’t give a shit either. That has always helped to restore my confidence. It’s like a ‘take me as I am’ kind of a thing, and you will find the people who will. =)

You’re very pretty, @mama_cakes, not to mention a sweetheart so knock it off or I’ll KYA. XD

@Vunessuh Ooo, I’m scared of you, girrrl.. ;-) <<backin’ away slowly>>

Sometimes, we’re just “being girls”.

Oh, and I think that both you and Lucille are stunning. :)

I am too pretty. ;-) But ya’ll know that.

Not since yesterday when my passport picture turned out to be va-va-voom.

I was raised to believe I was always fat though I never was. I always think I am, though I am not..I have issues with my acne sometimes…and stretchmarks…or how ‘saggy’ I think my boobs are…I don’t know…generally, when I’m out in the real world, I come off as pretty confident.

@Adirondackwannabe you’re such a smoothie! ;-)

Yes, I’m insecure about my weight…when I’m thinner I feel good about myself but like @Vunessuh when I put weight on it goes straight to me tummy and face…and hips! I also tend to think my head is a little large and that my hair is too thin in places which makes me look a little bald! ...and I have unshapely legs and I look awful without make-up because I have fair eyelashes…I could go on…but no-one wants to hear all that…

Ultimately we’re all beautiful! :-)

oh yes…and saggy boobs…

Does the pope shit in the woods?

@mama_cakes Greasy…but I am sure all the alcohol killed that…right?? XD

Chazzie is the prettiest of ‘em all!

Only my legs. Oh don’t get me started on my legs….chicken legs they are. Skinny spindly puny,weaky & anything else ending in y. Not good, not good at all :¬(

You are super attractive, @mama_cakes

I am sometimes… I have pretty intense ups and downs about my looks, actually. Some days, I’m ultra confident almost to the point of arrogance, and other days, I’m like zomg I look like shit! Like you, this usually ties in with how depressed or happy I’m feeling.

Right now, I’m participating in no-shave November, so I’m extremely beardy, and I’m also breaking out with acne for some reason, so I’m at the low end of my confidence spectrum at the moment.

I think if you address the source of your depression, or your depression itself, you will be able to manage your inconfidence a bit more.

I have days when I feel really good about the way I look and feel confident. There will always be things I don’t like but they don’t seem quite so noticable to me on good days. However, I also have days when I compare myself to everyone that I consider to be more attractive than me and I can get quite insecure about it. I’m sure everyone does this from time to time though.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard is right, you’re beautiful and very youthful looking (I thought you were a good few years younger than you are!)

@mama_cakes Aw,thanks, you’re sweet:) V is stunning as you will find out

Milo here: With this face?

@gailcalled Milo’s face makes me happy!

Milo is going to give Chaz a run for his money.

No, not particularly. I’ve always felt pretty good about the way I look. There are definitely times when I don’t look as good as I could and there are times when I think my nose is too big or something like that, but for the most part, I am quite satisfied with my appearance. I’ve never been that person who “hates” the way they look, not even close.

You’re way too pretty to be insecure.

And yes, all the time.

What I worried about when I was a teen-ager.

Hair too thick.
Forehead too low
Legs too thin
Knees too knobby
Skin too oily
Eyes too weak (glasses)
Too sweaty
Too tall
Generally unsymmetrical

Did that make me happy, secure, healthy, smart, successful, loving, compassionate, generous-of-spirit?

I’m not insecure as much as upset that my golden/honey-toned face has a lot of dark brown marks and leftovers of scars from when I used to pick at my zits. They’re really dark, and some of them are large and noticeable.

@aprilsimnel: There are miraculous new treatments offered by competent dermatologists today. Have you asked around?

Well yes, I’m ugly so I should be.

And your mother dresses you funny.

@gailcalled – I will when I have some money!

If you are on Fluther, you are one sexy bitch.

That goes for you bastards too.

Not so much anymore as I’ve reached a certain age where I don’t give a rat’s ass anymore. If I’m clean, my pants are cute and nobody laughs and points, I feel pretty.

I am obscenely concerned with my looks. Most days I literally feel too ugly to leave the house. No exaggeration, I just won’t leave, for fear that someone will see how ugly I am. Enough said, I think.

Tell you what, @TheOnlyNeffie , I’ll make you some funky pants. Nobody will notice anything else! I have days when I’m thrilled that they get all the attention.

Hell, no. I’m a sexy beast. ;)

I’ve become much less concerned about my appearance as I have aged. Sure, I may carry a few extra pounds, but my wife thinks I’m sexy and I still turn heads.

@JilltheTooth you’re sweet. :)

@TheOnlyNeffie You have the prettiest, damn eyes, woman!

@TheOnlyNeffie What mama cakes said.

Yes and no. I’m pretty okay until I see a picture of me someone’s taken and it all starts going downhill.

Thank you’s. Sweet of you to say. You know how it goes, though. You hear these things.. but for some reason they just don’t sink in. I have good days, like everyone else. The bad days just seem to be much better at taking over.

@shpadoinkle_sue ohh, I don’t allow people to take my photo for just that reason. ;)

I think depressions have a lot to do with getting squirrely ideas about our bodies. It’s not often I feel physicallly uncomfortable or unnattractive but I notice when I’m sad, hurt or angry then it pops out of seemingly nowhere. I acknowledge I’m having a crackhead moment and suffer through it. My bf thinks I’m a retard sometimes but that’s where love helps.

I think I look fine but not many people seem to agree with me.

Yes, very. But not for the same reasons as most people.

I couldn’t give two fucks what anyone thinks of the way I look so insecurity is not an option.

i ain’t gotta look at me all day

@hug_of_war Lies! Why do the most beautiful people always think they are ugly?

Not anymore. I just said to myself one day, “I am a pretty girl” and it’s starting to stick. I’m not vain though… Not even close. I do have my moments where I think I’m the most hideous person on the planet, but that goes away.

I have to admit that after my double mastectomy, I became very insecure. I would only wear big baggy things. I didn’t want my husband to see me. I even looked back and laughed at when I cried when I lost my hair for the first time (chemo). Hair grows back, boobs don’t. Yes, I know there is reconstructive surgery. I’ve had complications and frankly, I’ve been under the knife too many times for my age to want to do it again.

One day my husband came in while I was changing and I quickly grabbed something to cover myself. He sat down and told me all the reasons why he married me. My boobs were not on the list. He did say they were a perk, but not the kicker.

I can’t say that I’m completely over it, but I’m getting better.

Not insecure, just dissatisfied.

I went through a time in my life where I thought I was straight up ugly.

Now, I just think I’m alright. I’m no Brad Pitt, but I’m not ugly. I can look good sometimes and look bad in others. But that’s alright because everyone does.

As long as I can remember, I’ve hated pretty much everything about how I look. I was even bulemic for a time. Oh well.

@tragiclikebowie You’re my PrettyErin!

Hopefully we can all one day see ourselves beautiful the way those around see us.

I echo that as I get older my looks seem to matter less to me. There are things I love and hate about myself.

With friends, I don’t care about looks. But with a lover, it is very important. I need to be attracted to them. There was a time when I was friends with someone I was not attracted to, and then became attracted to them. I was so proud of myself. Then the relationship broke apart and I realized that I am that shallow person who must have a partner he is physically attracted to.

I am extremely insecure about my looks. Some of you have heard me ramble and whine about my husband’s lack of compliments about my physical being. Unless I’ve hogtied him and pushed his face into the concrete. And that hardly counts. I’ve had some time to ponder it and realized that no man has ever called me pretty. I’ve gotten cute a few times, but otherwise they’ve been all about my boobs. That’s not to say they haven’t liked me the person, but this question is about physical looks.

Seriously, I cry about this at least once a week when I’m alone. Sometimes I’m tempted to gain back my lost weight because then I can convince myself that the problem is that I’m just fat. Instead of being within 20 pounds of my goal weight and realizing that I’m unattractive because of my face, not my fat.

@TheOnlyNeffie

Isn’t one of the gorgeous women in your avatar photo you?

@tedibear I am currently questioning how important looks are to me, I mean how much they are important. I would consider myself as alright looking and sometimes with make up I would say that I’m pretty but my weight has always been of extreme importance to me and only when I’m thinner do I feel good. Furthermore, only when I’m thinner do I truly love myself. This is so wrong surely??

Do we really want to live in a world where the way we look is of paramount importance? Do I want to teach my son that we’re only really loveable when we’re thin and pretty? I feel I’ve grown up with this message (from whoever and whatever) and finding it really difficult to change my beliefs. However, I think I need to. I don’t want to rely on society’s view of whether I’m worthy or not based on my looks, or whether I will find a partner that acknowledges my outer beauty.

I want to be the whole person and love myself as I love my son; completely unconditionally. This is my challenge x

Trust the French to solve this problem. Check out une jolie laide.

If you carry yourself with pride, smile often and spend a few minutes every day on your abs., you will shine.

At my recent 45th high school reunion, I met several men who said that they had mad crushes on me back then. Perversely, back then I felt truly awkward, unattractive and obsessed with very odd flaws. It never occured to me to think about what others really thought.

What a waste of nervous energy.

Ah, but @gailcalled, how would you find out what others really thought? Indeed, now that you no longer care, could you, if you wanted, find out?

@wundayatta: I’m not clear about what you are asking.

Now that I no longer care, I do get the odd compliment. It is curious.

“Do we really want to live in a world where the way we look is of paramount importance?” @nebule , I don’t want to live in that world, but I do. We all do. It’s just that some people are lucky enough to be able to not care.

“I feel I’ve grown up with this message (from whoever and whatever) and finding it really difficult to change my beliefs.” Yup, me too.

“I want to be the whole person and love myself as I love my son; completely unconditionally. This is my challenge.” Every finger and toe I have is crossed for you to be able to do this! It’s a tough one and my heart is with you to be able to get there!