(NSFW) How would I crochet at least a semi-realistic set of testicles?

Why not just use a set of big blue Christmas bulbs? It’s festive! XD

Like this?
or this?

@ChazMaz: Too bad there’s not a pattern that goes with it… lol.. but I could probably figure something out. I wanted to put something inside of it though, to make it feel like testicles.

Also, mine is erect, comically large, and will include veins.

You could order up some Neuticles

@Cruiser – What a great Christmas gift idea.

@ChazMaz Would make for a great set of Worry Beads! XD

Here are instructions for a tiny drawstring bag.

http://www.learn-how-to-crochet.com/handbag-purse.html

A pair of tennis balls or ping pong balls might be a place to start. How many of you thought you’d see crochet and testicles in the same sentence today?

Google “pattern for crocheted penis warmer.”

And here’s an example on YouTube.

http://www.wonderhowto.com/how-to-crochet-penis-woolen-willy-warmer-aka-peter-heater-271959/

@gailcalled: Holy moly… I thought you were kidding. LOL

@gailcalled – Good find.

Funny, said it would be a good “GAG” gift. lol

My initials are GAC. When LLBean monogrammed a piece of luggage for me, it arrived saying, “GAG.” Bean said that they would redo it, but since I was amused, I kept the bag as is.

@gailcalled perfect!

@gailcalled well of course you should keep it. After all, it was a “gag” gift.

Will you be posting pics? I want one. A crocheted package, I mean.

@TheOnlyNeffie: I’m not sure if I can post a link to the pic here. And, I’m not sure I could get the head the same way again. I fought with it quite some time to get it just right lol

Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean for that to sound like I was asking you to double your work load. You don’t have to make me a penis, I just meant that it is something that I would like to have, in general. :)

@TheOnlyNeffie: Oh, you didn’t. Believe me… I’m so proud of it that if I could remember how I did it, I would be cranking them out left and right (hehehehehe)

Here it is… NSFW!

@poofandmook I think you could be on your way to your first million if you go live with this.

@janbb: LOL thanks :)

The list in the pic would suggest you’re crocheting an entire man, body part by body part. If I gave you some wool would you make me one, too? ;-)

I’d like to upgrade my order as per @JilltheTooth‘s idea.

@JilltheTooth: LOL I took the picture over another checklist for the Super Mario Brothers plushies I’m making. They are smaller than the dong when assembled. LOL

@poofandmook very nicely done!

@poofandmook Great job. But I am a bit concerned about the list of body parts that is in that picture.

@chyna: The pattern for those body parts is here lol :)

Wait til I post the finished product… I added veins this afternoon.

I don’t know about the other males on here but I cringe each time I see this question under questions I’m following. :)

@poofandmook Can’t wait to see, please share when you are done.