Has anyone got family that have issues with a particular ethnicity/culture & you just happen to be seeing someone in those areas?

Great question.

Does your father hate Native Americans or Asian Indians?

I have some family members who are racist. Especially one of my Uncles. I don’t take him too seriously though. I however can proudly say I am not racist.

@Brian1946 Opps sorry I mean Indians from Indian, there everywhere these days.

Usually these types of people are like this because they obviously aren’t capable of critical thinking. So if calmly explaining that you like the person for who they are and their skin color does not matter does not work, then they will simply have to live with it.

You are doing nothing wrong.
Your Dad is a fool and an idiot, if he has a problem with you dating an Indian.
You can be strong, stern, and stand your ground on this because you are 100% in the right and your Dad is 100% in the wrong.

His feelings on this issue do not matter at all, except insofar as how it affects you.

Don’t give a hint of guilt (there should be no guilt). Your attitude should be “take me or leave, me, Dad”.

And perhaps your Dad is not so evil. Perhaps he was just lashing out verbally, but will accept your boyfriend. If your Dad is a good man, this will be the case.

@Kraigmo Dad’s fiance’s son’s wife lol is a Indian. As far as I know he doesn’t hate her but then again it’s not his childs partner. I don’t even know if he talks to her. Last time dad got verbally nasty about indians was at his place and he was only talking to me. I got sick of it and went off at him, I wont put up with how horrible he can be. I have a lot of friends that are indian and I don’t think he realises that what he says has a impact on his own daughter.

It’s prejudice pure and simple. I’m sure you could read a lot of stories about women introducing their men to a father who is prejudiced. You would probably learn something about how others have approached it.

This story tells us that what your parents think doesn’t matter at all. You can’t force them to change, either. This one says that if you can’t stand up for your boyfriend, break up with him.

I guess the consensus is that you should tell your father, and stand up to him, and just see what happens. If he’s your boyfriend, you should stand up for him. Otherwise, you should let him go.

@silvermoon , You would know more about this than me, but I think most dads with strong opinions are willing to change for their children.

There’s an intern on the Howard Stern show who was closeted for many years because his mom used to condemn gay people in the harshest of words. She’d say the worst things, and this caused him to never want to admit that he himself was gay. Well, finally he told her, and she broke through immediately, totally accepting him.

I think this pattern is common on lots of issues, and I think the odds are in your favor. If there’s rationality to your dad anywhere in his head, he can come to realize he may hate certain trashy or annoying aspects that he ascribes to many Indians… but that this does not mean he needs to continue judging them as a group, any further.

My parents were the WWII generation, and they went bat-shit crazy when I started dating a half Japanese girl. I ended up dating her for about 9 months, in which time she drove my self-esteem right into the toilet, crushed my spirit, embarassed me in front of my friends and family, and left me battered and broken. On the good side, she was the best sex I ever had, and she didn’t bomb my ports. We are close friends now, and I still miss her dearly.

My grandmother is one of those old-fashioned racist types. My aunt married a Cuban man and they had two children. They have since gotten divorced but my grandmother treats my cousins like crap because they are half-Cuban.

@filmfann: The girl drove your self esteem into the toilet or your grandmother did?

@KatawaGrey Sorry, guess I picked the wrong place to bare my fucking soul.

@filmfann: Why the nasty response? I’m asking honestly. I was confused as to which you were referring. There was no need to get angry with me.

Edit to add: Was the offense because I referred to your grandmother rather than your mother? I apologize if that is the case. I guess I just got my words mixed up because I had just written about my own grandmother.

Parents are set in their ways pretty much. The combination of his feelings of prejudice, which are some of the most deep-rooted emotions, and his protection of his daughter – make for an interesting challenge. I agree though that one cannot have a secret affair for very long – without damaging both relationship with the person, and with the parents. Secrets come out – and then everyone is hurt double; once for the secret, the second for the time they were excluded from it.