What is the best nickname you've ever heard or given?

The senior (craft level lead splicer) on my crew has about 13 years seniority with the company, while 10 people on the crew have over 30 years. There is a lot of animosity there, usually focused on his weight (he must clock at about 400lbs). His name is Shannon, and he has more nicknames than anyone I know.
Shammu
Shannon the Hut
Sham-wow (he often wears orange t-shirts)
Jabba
My favorite is Boss Hog.

he is actually quite smart, but very arrogant

There’s an annoying fat lady at work who constantly laughs in this stupid way. We call her Chubby Chuckles.

There’s also a creepy dude that stares at the young ladies a bit too much, with sort of an empty, lingering, expressionless stare. We call him Doll’s Eyes, in homage to Quint’s speech from Jaws.

Cliff (as in Cliff Clayburn from Cheers) for my know-it-all brother.

TUDD THE DUDD!!!!!

To this stupid intern we had named Todd. He said we should call him Tudd the stud… and I siad, more like Tudd the dudd. They name stuck, and he quit a few months later.

Knew a kid at summer camp named, “Boner,” but that ain’t too great!

How about athletes, actors, celebs, et al?

Another couple good ones from the firehouse: there was a lady who was a drunk and we’d run calls on her. Her pants would fall down half the time, and we’d see everything. I would like to stress I did not come up with this nickname, but her labia were sort of droopy. She got named Meat Curtains.

Another time, a probie joined and he was sort of a tool. There was a call where a suicide had been there for a few hours, and one of the medics says, “We’re going to have to get a time of death”, which means we had to get the coroner down the to pronounce him dead. The probie suddenly stood up, and in sort of a solemn way declared, “Time of death, 1:12am.” His nick name became Time Stamp.

I have a friend we call Doobie. His last name is Dubois.

Not exactly a nice nickname but its brilliant on so many levels. I know an kid that is part indian and is by far the most awkward mother fucker you will ever encounter. On night I was pretty high and he was just being awkward as shit and the name was born. “Chief Awkward Cloud”

It sums him up perfectly. Since then I’ve adopted the term awkward cloud for all those extremely awkward people. Its just such a brilliant name. Those awkward people who just hover around you, just emitting this cloud of awkwardness amongst your group effectively killing all conversation and any other social activity that was afoot at the time of their arrival.

It is by far one of my favorite terms.

As of recently I’ve aquired a nickname of my own from one of my girlfriends room mates that has a certain ring to it. Mr Sarbas. Short for Mr SARcastic BAStard. I love it lol

Chief Awkward Cloud is a good one.

My maiden name starts with a Ch, and my mom calls my dad chubby chxxxxx or chubs chxxxx. Not to be confused with Wilma calling Fred fat Freddie.

Tits McGee. I find that one funny.

Pokey LaFarge

When Joe Torre became manager of the Yankees, he had never been a part of a world series team. The New York media refered to him as Clueless Joe.

One day during lunch hour we were all discussing a new fresh-faced college kid that had recently been hired. He must have been 22 or so, but everything about his appearance and apparent level of life-experience gave the impression he was only about 14. Someone remarked that he better not ever get in trouble with the law since pretty little white boys like him become some hardened convict’s “bitch” the first day they set foot in prison. From that point forward his nickname was Prison Sex. We never called him that to his face, but we did refer to him openly as “PS”. I can only imagine someone gave him an alternate explanation for the moniker.

Gave my buddy the name “Horse Trough” for generally having a black hole for a stomach…it’s one of the better ones I’ve given.

a guy in my fraternity had lost his right arm in an accident in his early teens. He was called both “slot machine” and “bandit” (as in one-armed…).

Calamity Jane

I worked in an office with five people called Dave, so we had Big Dave, Little Dave, Simply Dave (he had red hair), Cockney Dave and Davey Boy. When a sixth Dave started, he insisted he was David rather than Dave, so he was David Dave forever after.

Ex-Mrs Meiosis was a teacher who taught a young boy called Robert, who was very popular with the girls in the school. His nickname was Frogboy, because as he walked through the corridors all his friends could hear was girls calling out “Robert, Robert…Robert, Robert”

@cockswain I’ve heard Spaniel’s Ears used by someone to describe large ‘meat curtains’.

A mate of mine goes by the name of Joe Swail. His nickname is, of course The Outlaw. As in Josey Wales. Now that’s an uber cool moniker.

I used to work in a bookstore with a guy named Lance. He was kind of a nerd and loved reading (and talking incessantly about) fantasy novels and the tie-ins based on role-playing games.

I called him Dragonlance. I’m still proud of that one.

A bully at my high school, in my Computer Literacy class, named Skylar, was called Wendy, for his red hair. Another redhead in my American History class is called Ketchhup. Her real name’s Emily. My parents call me Kimmy, Kimberlina, or just plain Kim. My classmates called me Kim too, or Kimbo, or Kim Possible (that nickname was the only one that irritated me the most).

What!? Kim Possible is awesomes.

Several more: a guy with tiny nipples is Micronips

My brother’s friend is called 50/50, because he is half man, half amazing.

A lady at work sort of looks like the evil doll from Child’s Play, so she’s Chucky.

We call someone else Butter Face, for the common reason.

I knew a skinny guy called Ribs.

A meth head called Bumpy.

A fat kid from Arkansas called Round Boy.

A friend said in college they called a girl Butt Tires, because she looked like a butt that had been run over.