Can you help build my collection of funny Spoonerisms?

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Every time I try to think of one it turns out bass ackwards… or is it back asswards?

I love cop porn….... i love pop corn

Fighting a liar…...lighting a fire

You hissed my mystery lecture…... you missed my history lecture

Searched every crook and nanny….... searched every nook and cranny

Cattle ships and bruisers….... battle ships and cruisers

Nosey little crook….... cosy little nook

A blushing crow….... a crushing blow

I actually said one today (unintentionally). I was trying to say “shift swap” and ended up saying “swift shop”.

the classic “cunning stunt ” (you probably already have that one… but its my favorite )

I’ve gotta take a shower….. I’ve gotta shake a tower
I’m driving in the right lane…. I’m driving in light rain (rane)

I actually grew up believing the phrase “fits and starts” (as in, it happened in fits and starts) was “stits and farts”... I still struggle to say it the right way round when in polite company.

We are assuming control…. We are consuming a troll

Custer’s Battlefield…. Buster’s cattlefield

I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

It’s like when you say one thing but mean your mother
A Freudian slip really but it kind of qualifies.

Time heals all wounds and wounds all heels.

In high school, my government teacher once attempted to start a sentence, “New York City should…” and accidently said “New York Shitty could.” My classmates didn’t let go of that one for a looong time, ahahah.

@BarnacleBill does that qualify as a spoonerism?

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Got that one, because I’ve suffered from the condition for so long. :-)

@partyparty Great collection. Thanks. I’m particularly drawn to searching ever nook and cranny of every crook and nanny.

@downtide That’s close enough to a tongue twister to be hard to avoid. Like the old challenge to say this ten time as fast as you can say it:
    I’m a sheet slitter.
    I slit sheets.
    I’m the best sheet slitter,
    That ever slit a sheet.

@tuesday242 Ah yes. What’s the difference between a sorority and a circus? A circus is a cunning array of stunts.

And there’s the corollary, What’s the difference between a tribe of sly pygmies and a sorority girl
track team? The tribe of sly pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts.

@camertron Rain or rane. These are really best when spoken aloud. So mords wixed would be pronounced like merds wixes.

@harple Ha! See my reply above to @downtide

@Blueroses great way to dispose of trolls. Thanks. I did not have that one.

@BarnacleBill I have that one, but it’s a favorite. It’s particular clever in its convoluted nature. And in regards to “Time heals all wounds and wounds all heels.” that’s actually pretty profound, but a play on words that’s not really a spoonerism.

@Adagio True. Not technically a spoonerism, but it’s in that genre of slip-of0the-tongue humor.

@Mariah Ha! I can bet that was hard to live down.

An apt one seems to be “I’m a word botcher” for “I’m a bird watcher.”

@iamthemob Oh that is good. And I had not heard that one before.

My personal favorites are Cunning Stunts
Popcorn
And A bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Ah yes. There is nothing better in life than performing cunning stunts with stunning cunts while eating popcorn watching cop porn and having a bottle in front of me instead of a frontal lobotomy.