[NSFW] In your mind, what behaviors would make someone a slut?

Having casual sex with complete strangers who write to you to tell you how wet your erotic stories get them and ask you to meet them for a romp and wear them as your cum sponge. I guess that makes me a slut…

Well, I think that you can still act slutty without actually being promiscuous. I’d say that being slut should be measured in degrees based on how many and of what quality people you’re willing to flirt with. Or I guess accept flirtation from.

Nothing. I hate the word.
A person’s sexual behavior may not be easy for someone else to understand, but I never think it’s ok for someone else to attach a word with such a negative connotation to it.

To me, someone is a slut when they are dishonest and sleep around when they are in a committed relationship (meaning when they have agreed not to sleep around) . I don’t care how many partners someone has and I don’t think being experienced makes someone a slut. Both men and women can be sluts in my opinion.

@Seaofclouds – Nah! That’s just being as cheater…

Honestly, I really hate that word. Sometimes it seems like straight guys I know consider any woman who desires sex in any way a “slut” as if only men are supposed to want sex.

So I have no idea what it means. I personally never use it and I hear it used in so many different ways that it’s hard to give a specific definition. It can mean someone who has many sexual partners, someone who cheats, someone who flirts with a lot of people, someone who wears revealing clothing, etc.

@wundayatta You’ve covered my back many times, but I just have to say I do not like this question at all.

I agree with @Seaofclouds.

I dont think that the number of partners you have had should matter (as long as your “clean”) both men and women have been known to have a high number in sexual partners. Its a natural thing to want to have sex. And if your a person who likes it with many different people then so be it. Everyone has the right to be who they are and do what they do. If your going to “sleep around” all I can say is “Be safe, and if you cant be safe be sanitary” .

I’m with @Likeradar – I think the concept is base and mirrors the worst in people when they even use it. One person’s ‘slut’ is another person’s ‘prude’ and since the label accomplishes nothing but insult and negativity, its usage signifies a low kind of person.

While trying to think what would make someone a slut (IMO), @Inked_up_chic helped to sum it up for me. Someone who sleeps around and does not take safety precautions and who is not sanitary in their escapades; and who openly flaunts they sleep around and don’t care who knows it.

I am in no position to judge people for their sexual appetites.

@Adirondackwannabe It’s fine not to like a question. Still, I wonder why you felt it necessary to answer the question, if only to say you didn’t like the question. What don’t you like about it? Do you not like thinking about what you think the word means? People throw the word around a lot. As they throw the word “whore” around. I’m never sure what people have in mind when they use the word, so I wanted to find out.

I also know people who apply the word to themselves, which really disturbs me. I was hoping to find out what I think I am finding out—that, on fluther at least, people don’t like the word, and don’t seem to think it means much. I don’t think the views of jellies are very representative of the outside world, but I am comforted that a number of people will not judge others based on the number of people they happen to have slept with.

I think its to do with attitude not number of partners, if people mess with other peoples minds and sleep with them for reasons that the other person is not aware of… eg a promotion, money etc then that would make them a slut.
There may be some poor souls searching for their prince or princess and kissing a lot of frogs…. they maybe sincere but with no luck! so therefore they would be unlucky not slutty . does that make any sense at all? :)

Well, yes. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince…

It’s a term of abuse rather than a meaningful word.

@HungryGuy I am hoping that i have at last found one…. a prince that is , frogs dont taste that good!

@tuesday242 – lol :-) I want neither a frog nor a prince(ss), I just want to find some cum sponges to play with :-p

@HungryGuy -lol with you :)
oh Bugga! thats where i have been going wrong, wasting time with frogs and prince hunting!.... your right i need a male cum sponge…. it might make walking difficult though!

@tuesday242 – If you’re male, you can get two cum sponge harnesses and hook yourselves up in 69 fashion. If you’re female, your cum sponge’s head will have to hang directly underneath you between your legs in order to stimulate you where it counts. I haven’t had a need to build such a F/M harness, but it should be possible…

Simple. A slut is someone who sleeps around and doesn’t have an emotional bond with the people she is sleeping with. They sleep with many people without a second thought. Usually self centered and only do it for their pleasure and not the other person. A female slut tends to put up a front of being innocent and may pretend she is into a guy but in all reality she just wants to have sex for herself. They be quiet manipulitive as well. They tend to scour the bars and clubs looking for their next partner (victim). There are male sluts too. The difference is that they usually are pretty open about it and brag about it with even people they don’t know. Seems like society doesn’t pay much attention to them as they do women sluts. Both male and female sluts should be avoided for they WILL destroy you lives. Especially if the female slut has a baby then you are screwed financially. She will milk you for every penny you got and its the man’s fault for falling for her trickery.

@HungryGuy 2 ?? thats greedy !

@Mikewlf337 i agree thats what i was trying to say , but you said it better !

@tuesday242 Thanks :)

@tuesday242 – Nothing that’s mutually consensual is greedy :-)

@Mikewlf337 – That’s not always true.

@HungryGuy There are no absolutes. Only a Sith deals in absolutes :D

Guess I’m a slut! yay!

@Mikewlf337 – That’s right. There are no absolutes. Some “sluts” may be self-centered and manipulative. Others may be hedonists who just want to have fun with other hedonists. The former MAY destroy your life, the latter will be fun to play with if you don’t expect a lasting relationship…

A slut is a socially constructed word for someone (and unfortunately it usually has a female connotation) that doesn’t fit the norms of a monogamous sexual relationship. ‘Tis the breaks.

and it’s stupid.

I think the word “slut” is soooooooo outdated and it needs to go away. All it means is a girl or woman who likes sex, big freakin’ whoop. And, seeing that’s a double standard – men who like sex are called ‘studs’ – that word doesn’t exist in my vocabulary. I might comment that someone is sluttily-dressed, say if they’re barely wearing any clothes, but I have a pretty decent vocabulary and can find better words to describe the actual person and their behavior.

I don’t like the word. I also don’t care how many people someone has sex with. The only thing I do care about, in this regard, is that it is consensual. And, of course, being responsible whilst doing so (hygenic precautions, not cheating, etc).

Yes it is a numbers game, but only for men, woman don’t play the odds. Time may be a factor, like if it’s a gang bang situation and she does like ten guys in an hour. Definately an attitude is needed to be a good ho, not caring about be called a slut is a good trait to have. Men can’t be sluts, they can only be really lucky. The lines all blur.

“Slut” and “promiscuous” mean the same thing to me.

There is a problem with the term because it has the implication of the double-standard: promiscuous men are “studs” (said with approval), and promiscuous women are “sluts” (said with disapproval).

But, I’ll be honest, I use the term myself. I try not to say it in strange company because I don’t like offending people unnecessarily. But with my friends I use the term to describe any promiscuous person, male/female, gay/straight. And I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I’ve been a slut before and thoroughly enjoyed it – good for me!

So, for me it really is about having lots of casual sex. I can’t define specific numbers or situations. There’s no particular attitude about it. Although a person can “act slutty,” in my book. Acting slutty does not make one a slut (not all sluts act slutty, and not all slutty-actors are sluts). Acting slutty is being excessively flirtatious with many people.

Men or women who treat sex as primary, their partners as secondary and have general disconnect/disregard for any negative arising circumstances.

I want to recommend a book to you. It’s good reading. “Slut: Growing up female with a bad reputation” by Leora Tanenbaum. It’s a book for anyone who has found themselves at the mercy of a double standard.

I’ve had women who because they are monogamist with one man would think me a slut. But these same women feel like they can’t say NO to anything their partner demands of them sexually. There bedrooms look like a DSM freak show. AND THEY WOULD PRESUME TO CALL SOMEONE LIKE ME SLUT? I think not. I also object to the mental healths referencing to promiscuity in overly moralistic fashion. What some people pejoratize is merely someone else pissing on a norm that makes sexual expression with other consenting adults a taboo outside the range of long term relationships.

And while women are subjected to a very lengthy list of abusive labels in regards to being sexually experienced, men are only subjected to a hand full of labels that often solicite images of romance….for example “he is a real DonJuan”.

I was a person labeled a slut in high school. I was a virgin and the time and for some time afterward. Those abusive individuals did me a great service because when I finally did take the reigns I did what I damned well pleased sexually. It has given me an edge in a knowledge base unlike the majority of women around me. As a result of my vast experience I understand how my body works and how it responds and to what. I have no qualms in getting my needs met and NOT at the expense of a lover. I don’t allow myself to be used sexually and I don’t cave in to sexual demands that I am not interested in. If a partner should leave me for that…I know I am better off without him and that other suitors wait in the wings. I have become adept at understanding how many men connect and traveled that sacred ground with many. Relationships come, grow, run their course and end for a great variety of reasons. I do not cling. I am rarely jealous. I live without view of others as my sexual possessions. And I have been truely liberated from shame.

That anyone would want to be called a slut however is in my opinion a calling in of societal double standard, and pejorative harassment. Why in the name of the goddess would you want that? If you want to be sexually liberated and follow your heart and libido than by all means do that. And use precautions against unwanted pregancy and STD’s.

It’s not a term I like to apply to other people. Its dictionary meaning confines it to a person (usually female) who has casual sex with multiple partners, or a dirty, slovenly woman. Wikipedia supplies some interesting information about its entomology.

In fantasy, it can be a powerful aphrodisiac. Imagining yourself yielding to a series of lovers, debasing yourself for a lover, yearning for their touch and their love juices flowing for you. I leave it to people to apply it to themselves. If I am free to react to such an admission, it would draw my immediate attention. :-)

They usually ask you call them one. Thats how you know.

@esurient_one – That’s true. One woman I had a one-night-stand with came right out and told me that she’s a slut when she asked me to have sex with her.

@Etpro I completely understand what you mean by the fantasy aspect.. I was only thinking of the question in negative terms. Good answer :)

Oh how rude, a gay man could be called a slut but not a straight man, oooh snap.

@truecomedian Actually, the first use of the term was applied to men. I see no reason why it should be confined to a single gender or to only those who are receptive of the advances of others.

I think that a slut is someone who bases their self esteem on whether people approve of them sexually.

You can be promiscuous because you think sex is fun and not be a slut. However, if your self worth is completely tied up in your sexuality, it’s damaging and unfulfilling. It’s closer to sexual addiction than anything else.