My brother disagrees on the subject of hating me, on the other hand he treats me with disdain and is it even possible to get along with him?

I’m really confused. Are you the younger or the older brother?

“He’s not like a younger brother where they steal your lunch…”

If you are the older brother, then go your own way. But compliment the younger bro every opportunity you get and let him know how important your relationship is.

”...how do I get along with my elder brother?”

If you’re the younger brother, then go your own way. But compliment the older bro every opportunity you get and let him know how important your relationship is.

Thank you for the answer, I wasn’t expecting one. I am the younger sister. Brothers seem to be able to get along better then sisters and brothers. If the compliments were sincere and I told him how important our relationship is to me what would that do? I am just curious that does show respect. Maybe I will get respect back if it’s sincere

Ahh I see. A sister. Hmmm that’s tough… try this…

If you’re the younger sister, then go your own way. But compliment the older bro every opportunity you get and let him know how important your relationship is.

There is no magic pill for this. Every family is different. What you may consider as distain he sees as just being indifferent. Guys sometimes just don’t want to be bothered with a younger sibling. Especially if the sex is different and he simply doesn’t see you guys as having anything much in common. If you are smarter or even seem luckier, he may have some envious feelings but not really hate you. Your success or accomplishments or even praise from other family members may provoke these feelings. It is totally possible to admire a sibling and be envious at the same time.
My son totally admires his younger sister but I could hear the envy in his voice sometimes when he would speak of her skills with other people. Something he lacks. But he loves her to pieces.
Some days they are two peas in a pod and others they can’t be in the same room. Its all a part of being siblings.

What do you mean by go your own way? Be indifferent and tough like a man? Or just not be around him much and concern yourself with your own goals? I suppose sometimes complimenting him and telling him how important our relationship is would show respect. It just seems like now matter how much respect you show it doesn’t get returned. But yes being a younger sister is tough lol and I am sure being an elder brother is too.

Ah then if my brother admired and was envious of me at the same time that would mean he had conflicted feelings about me. That would make sense of his random actions toward me, being super one day and strange and snippy and showing disdain the next.

So when you say it’s all a part of being siblings you mean that randomly there will be fights ups and downs and most of the time you cannot get along and have harmony? A pity. I am not wanting exactly a magic pill to make everything right, it would just be nice if most of the time we got along. I am envious of my close friend’s sister and her being so tight.

I am not saying I want to be close it would just be nice if we got along more. I thought if I showed him more respect he would eventually show me more if I persisted but not being around all the time either.

Thank you for these thought provoking answers.

I guess I am pretty concerned your brother walks around naked around you (WRONG!), hangs up on you (RUDE!), and treats you with disdain. I think you need to find your own place to live and find roommates that respect you and your boundaries.

This kind of sibling stuff dates back to when you were little kids, and I mean really little. Your brother may have never bonded to you, but that is no excuse for him treating you so poorly. Why don’t you think about distancing yourself and standing up for yourself. You can remain open to him if he decides to repair the relationship, but get yourself away from a toxic situation.

No one has put it like that before. It is kind of creepy when he does it seeing as he’s a blood relation to me and yes it is kind of rude. Well when I do stand up for myself it leads with fight after fight and it’s taxing. The advice about distancing myself seems like the best I can do. He obviously has some issues at the moment, I am not unsympathetic but I think I have a right to be a little vexed with his behaviour as you’ve said.

I suppose it is toxic. I could definitely find my own place unless it’s possible to live with someone and remain distant at the same time. I don’t know if it is seeing as their always a room away. Hum.

He’s not a bad person. He’s just a little strange and acts randomly. He sometimes acts loving and sometimes acts desdain. But the situation is kind of toxic. I shall think about this thank you.

Just live your life and offer your best to your family. If they take it, great. If they don’t, then paint your wagon.

One thing is for sure though, you must set standards. If you don’t like your bro walking around naked in front of you, then do whatever it takes to prevent it from happening. Just pulling out a video camera might be enough to stop him.

Thank you! Very good idea, ha, ha. He surely wouldn’t want that on the internet, one can set standards in amusing ways. Thank you.

You cannot really control if other people respect you or not or the way they act I guess that much is certain. No matter how much you want something.

But there are things you can do to set standards. It’s hilarious to image my brother running away from that when I get the camera. I am not sure if anyone wants to get their body taken pictures of.

May I ask how old you are? This sounds like my relationship with my older brother from when I was 8 (he was 12) through 13 (he was 17). In my experience, our relationship magically was improved when my brother went off to college. Not being in each other’s hair, we could focus on the good things in our relationship. Now we’re 22 and 26, and couldn’t be any closer. Hang in there.

I am twenty and he’s a few years older then me. It does seem like distance and not being in each other’s hair can improve a relationship. Thank you that is encouraging news. I shall hang in there. Maybe siblings’ relationship can get better as they age.

I have older brother and he’s is a straight up ass-hole to me. He’s mean, rude, acts like I’m stupid. I really don’t know what to say cause I could probley ask the same question about my brother and I. Oddly, I know he loves me, and he will always look out for me no matter what. Even if we don’t get along. I’m 28 and he’s 39

I have older brothers too. Being the only female child is kinda weird, especially when they decide its okay to walk around with no shirt on ( I really don’t want to see whats under their shirts… ) I get along great with my eldest brother, but my other brother is another story. We used to fight and fight and scream and yell. My parents really got tired of it… so we eventually left each other alone. We didnt talk unless we had to. We still get into fights, but not as often. We occasionally speak to each other too. Maybe your brother needs some space… But that’s no excuse for walking around naked!!

Ha! I am somewhat jealous that you get along best with your eldest brother. I don’t mind him having no shirt on seeing that’s a norm when you to the beach but on the other hand I agree I don’t really like seeing his under part. If my brother needs space and leaving him alone causes more or the right word would be less fighting between the two of us, not completely but I mean I want less fighting- then I guess I’ll do that.

I like some of the ideas I am getting put some distance between my brother and I, when were around show some respect- the less time you’re around him the less you can fight. I guess that’s true in a sense.

Yeah I don’t think it’s much excuse for him to walk around naked either, I can stand him walking around in his underwear but when nothing private is covered- well that’s kind of disturbing. I can understand if he was living alone, with other men or with a girlfriend. Men don’t seem to mind being naked around each other. I am not really a man though.

Thank you. Some of this advice is great. But our relationship, the more I stay ‘out of his hair’ so to speak it might improve with distance and with time. Someone said above my posts about how your relationship with your siblings can improve when your older or if they move out or if your not always in each other’s hair. I think it’s encouraging.

And to Deja-vu, that’s the queer part but at least even if brothers can be jerks they or mine can be protective of me. I don’t think my brother is an ass-hole though, he doesn’t do some things but I am better of then some other sisters.

Yes it’s hard being the female child is weird sometimes. But anyway thanks Cheese house! What a great idea! If I spend less time talking only unless we have too, that sounds- the less fighting not often fighting is what I want. I don’t want to fight with him that often, and if it’s less, the less stress too.