Should I abstain from sleeping with a girl if they want more?

Why don’t you try to get to know us before you expect us to discuss such a personal situation wtih you. Of course you should not see this girl at all—you already know that.

I would guess this is a long term/short term happiness thing. For long term happiness, you should probably lay everything out and tell her if it’s going to continue there is absolutely no hope of you being a couple…if she rejects you-your out some sex but haven’t hurt a 20 year old girls feelings. If you just want sex and don’t care (and at 25, that’s not far fetched to believe) then you can have some short-term happiness. Just don’t be too surprised if more likely when it comes back to cause problems and headaches.

Thanks. I appreciate your advice. I have to admit that I am surprised to realise that I am responsible for her actions since she is emotionally attached. But it makes me feel like a better person to avoid her, so that helps to kill the temptation.

@perspicacious: I felt that I needed privacy so I made a new acct. :) sorry to be random

You’re not responsible for her actions, but your are responsible for your own. And, of course, your actions can cause hurt in others. Saying that, plenty of people are quite happy with being a fuck-buddy.

Yes. It’s not kosher to toy with another human being’s emotions, which is what you would be doing. In all fairness to her, cut her loose.

BTW .. I invented sex! : D

Her feelings are out there, so you know what will happen, she will get hurt. If you are just wanting a fuck buddy, find someone else that is willing to be just that. The girl wanting a relationship will end up bringing you down too.

Yup – let it go; find someone else. It’s not fair to keep her hanging on when there’s no possibility of more and she wants more.

To avoid hurting her unnecessarily, and to avoid having to deal with the awkwardness, you really should stop sleeping together.

It seems she’s trying to change your mind, and if that’s not going to happen, keeping her hoping isn’t fair. Find someone else to be your bed-buddy.

if you’re an asshole jerk, keep sleeping with her. If you’re not, move on.

You know she wants more, and knowing that, to continue giving her false hope is totally wrong, and could come back on you in the form of a pregnancy. Just because you don’t want obligations, doesn’t mean that they aren’t going to be handed to you.

@chyna A fuck buddy?

If you want my opinion it would be to keep things on a social level until you decide to settle down and get married and then once married you have the sex part of a relationship. Too many emotions involved when one gets that intimate.

@Adirondackwannabe Um, I meant a bed buddy. A little early in the day for the f word.

@chyna Probably why it hit me as I was was reading through this.

If you think she wants to love you, doesn’t she deserve better than “my heartless approach”? That’s pretty cold.

She may agree to the sex, but you know very well she is doing it in hopes that it will lead to something more. If you continue to have sex with her under these circumstances, then you are an ass.

What kind of person do you want to be?

If this girl was your sister or your daughter, how would you want men to treat her?

You want moral absolution from others when you know yourself it is wrong.You might have told her that you do not want a relationship,but for you to use her knowing that she does,speaks to your character.Pleasant dreams…

Wow, you sound quite full of yourself. “I miss her for the sex” and “my heartless approach” – relax, you’re not Don Juan and she’s probably using you too, whether for sex or for emotional attachment. Since you’ve laid it out for her, let her make her choices and you make yours.

Exactly, @Simone_De_Beauvoir. Considering you were completely honest and you aren’t committed to each other, this is the situation where you need to “do you.” Is it worth it for you to continue in a relationship where the emotional fallout potential increases the longer you continue? I wouldn’t take that risk. I would end it – not because you’re looking out for her, but because you’re looking out for you.

First of all, kudos for acknowledging how this is not a good idea. That at age 25 takes a lot of courage to do.

If you decide to change your life now, you will reap the benefits sooner than later. You may find yourself in a better situation for being mature enough now to make the decision for both of you.

Sex is even more satisfying when you are totally and completely into the person you are with. Make the right decision now in regards to this girl, as hard as it is, and you will find more satisfaction in your future. Trust me.

otherwise you will repeat the same mistakes over and over again until you learn

How hard is to find someone else who just wants sex, if that’s all you want right now? Why do you feel like your only choices are to either give in to her desire for a relationship or string her along? I’m not saying that to sound bitchy, it’s to encourage you to ask these questions of yourself. Let he be and sign up for OK Cupid or something. Seriously, that’s (partly) what it’s for! If you’re any kind of ordinary human being, there’s no reason anymore to have to play people or lie or any of that to get sex these days.

I had a friend who thought he was just using a girl for sex… now he gets to see her every two weeks.

When he picks up his daughter.

You’re giving people you have sex with a certain amount of access and control to your life, realize treating them well isn’t just good for them even beyond the karmic implications.