Does sex complicate things?

Good on you. Focus on what is important to you right now and save the sex for a time and a person who mean something signfcant.

At the supermarket?...., Yes.

For people who are dating with a purpose [ie marriage], sex will complicate things.

For people who just date to date, sex means nothing to them, and isn’t that deep.

I was in the first group :P

I am in virtually the same boat you are, but have the fortune of having been in it before. Sex is a good thing and will be a big stepping stone to moving on from your X… BUT, make sure you are ready for it. I can’t imagine its a turn on for most girls if you burst into tears crying mid sex.

If you’re ready for it varies on tons of stuff, and really only you will actually know. It will be some time before you stop thinking about your X everyday, or even constantly… But you’ll be stable enough to move on before that.

You sound extremely mature, and right on the money.

Just be upfront about it; so that the young ladies know what the expectations are (or are not). I suspect that you will meet a lot of nice like-minded young women.

A young man I know had break-up sex with his ex-girlfriend, and has spent the last 9 months worrying that he is the father of her baby. The paternity test came in today, and he’s not. He stopped going to school to work full time for the last 8 months at a crap job to save up money “just in case.” Hello, better car!

@BarnacleBill Thank you. I appreciate your input. I hope I can meet nice minded women. Seems like a long shot at the moment, but I know it can happen. Hopefully lol

It really depends, I’m 19 as well and have friends with benefits back home, no complications have arisen for me, but you’re situation seems pretty different than mine, so just do what feels right, or wrong… whatever floats your boat.

I hear you talking, but your estrogen is sending out a much stronger signal. you are at the height of sexual awareness and the devil is pushing you to the max. i think you know this. anyway, i am backing you in this endeavor and i hope it works…...ha ha.

@john65pennington ha ha. I like to think I have at least a minuscule amount of sexual control. Then again, it’s not like I’m being tempted with a lot women either ha ha.

It seems to me you’ve reached a very rational conclusion for a 19 year old guy. Sex doesn’t always complicate things, but it most certainly can and usually does. Of course, if you do meet someone you really click with and start dating seriously, refusing to have sex can complicate things as well. THere is no easy answer on this. And if you have a strong drive, abstinence can complicate keeping your mind on anything else. But I am sure yu can get a hand on that problem.

I think you are heading in exactly the right direction in your decision to just date for fun and to get to know some new friends. Enjoy it, and learn from it. And if it seems that a person you are dating is worried about why you are avoiding sex, be open and candid about your reasons. Anyone unwilling to respect your reasons may not be the right person for you for a long-term relationship anyway.

@ETpro Ah I see. Yes, you make a valid point. I guess I should hold off before I even subject myself to the temptation of the possibility of having some type of sexual relations with anyone anytime soon. I’m just not ready for that again. Not yet at least. I’m just looking to have fun for the time being, and to make great memories with my family and friends. Thank you for the input. Very well said.

It’s your life and whatever is right for you is right for you. If sex complicates things for you, then don’t have sex.

I believe that sex is an expression of love, and if you aren’t in love, you probably shouldn’t do it. But that’s just me. I know many people who engage in sex to be close to someone or to feel better about themselves or just because they are horny. I don’t blame them for doing that. We all have needs.

So if you believe something similar, then you shouldn’t have sex unless you love the person. Maybe you should wait until marriage. It’s up to you. My advice is that you don’t do anything you feel uncomfortable with. If a woman is pressuring you for sex, she’s probably not your woman.

Only if you let it. And if you’re afraid that it will…it probably will.

@joshuaty2010 – heterosexism and a spam ad, all rolled into one! ;-)

@iamthemob Where ya been, man. I’ve missed you.