Did you ever have a moment of sudden awareness, and it wasn't fun?
I’m thinking of something like when you have a headache. You wander around doing what you do, and your head stops bothering you. Suddenly someone says, “How’s your head?” Instantly, your headache is back. I hate this, and the worst part is you can’t get angry at someone who is only trying to show concern.
Does anyone else experience this? Can you give an example? Is there any way to avoid these kinds of things? If you know that someone has a headache, have you ever stopped yourself from asking because you don’t want to draw their attention to it?
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Wow, I totally thought you were headed somewhere else with this Q. Kind of like, don’t talk about it or you’ll jinx it.
I used to not bring up jonesing for his fix to my ex when I could clearly see that he was struggling with it because he told me that talking about it made it worse. Of course, he never got any professioal help and consequently never was able to kick. That’s the closest that I can think of offhand.
not sure if this is what you mean actually…but…
After having a breakthrough this morning in my counselling session, in which something very painful but very useful came to me to help move through some emotions I have gradually (as the day has gone by) let it drift from my mind. However, every now and then I have remembered and I have realised that I’m still trying to avoid it, but actually I need to move closer to it, challenge my beliefs about this thing and embrace compassion for myself, which for some reason is deeply difficult and disturbing. But it must be done.
Yes, I’ve had those moments because my day-dreaming world/imagery can be pretty distracting and my philosophy on ‘being in the moment, all the time’ can make me temporarily take myself out of what’s happening in my life, bigger picture wise and all kinds of triggers can bring me back and yes, I do get upset when it happens.
You just made me realise I’m still bored.
I’ve been bored forever now.
Razor shaving bleeding cut that didn’t start to hurt until after I saw the blood.
When I blew out and herniated my disc….I dreaded the “hows your back” question as if my agony wasn’t obvious enough. I can say the same about deaths and breakups…asking me “how are you doing” did not help matters at all!
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@noelleptc You get points for awareness, I just make a fool of myself and puke all night.
@Cruiser Yeah. That’s what I was thinking about. Do other people know this effect? Is there any way to show concern without drawing a person’s attention to their pain and making them feel worse? It feels kind of weird seeing them and not talking about it, and yet….
Maybe it’s a damned if you do and damned if you don’t situation.
@wundayatta Strangely though, I do and have found a sort of therapeutic comfort when a person asks these questions of me not out of curiosity or sympathy, but when someone who has been there and had the same experience, talking about that shared experience did bring relief of the pain or perception of distress. IMO true, heart felt empathy is a very powerful emotion.
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Your headache example is what I’ve experienced, in the physical sense. However, I’ve had many moments of a sudden realization that things have changed. You awake and all of a sudden something hits you, like “this is really over” or “something has just begun”. I’ve had both of those feelings very recently.
Waking up in jail. Coming down from a crack binge. Yeah its real.
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