How can I tell this girl I want to be with her?

It doesn’t sound like you’re dating the work girl, so you don’t really have a responsibility to her in a big sense. However, you do have to work with her.

If the best friend really does want to go forward, the two of you should talk about whether it’s something that needs to be addressed with your work friend. It’s nice that you don’t want to mess up their friendship – but I would be more worried about creating an enemy at work.

The best friend will know best, more likely, how the work friend will handle it. Figure that out first.

Honesty is the only policy here. Talk to your work friend and tell her how you feel. It may create ructions, but it is the only way to work it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esEm67OiOx8 In the show it worked out better than the plan

I agree with @janbb that honesty is the best policy—the only one, in fact—but I don’t quite agree with her strategy.

Tell the one you want to be with that you’d like to spend more time with her, but you don’t want to hurt the feelings of your co-worker. Get her to help you break the news to her friend, if she wants to spend more time with you, too, and preserve her friendship (which we will assume that she does want as a minimum). If she doesn’t want to be with you then she’ll let you know somehow by word or deed, and you will have lost nothing with your work friend.

Clarify things with your co-worker. You should do that anyway. Tell her that you consider her a good friend, but just a friend.

Then, tell the best friend how you feel about her. Ask her advice on how to handle letting her best friend know. You can do it together.

It may affect their friendship. It’s a sticky situation, but no lines have been crossed yet.

Good luck.

Look I’m a man and I’m not a mind reader so I need to ask you something and I need you to be straight with me. Like you but I’m not sure if you are into me so I just need to know if you want something more with me.

You will probably be nervous and it will take some balls to get it out. But once it’s out you’ll feel better and then you will know.

Coming from the co-worker’s perspective, I’d rather learn from you that you only look upon me as a good friend before finding out that you have a crush on my best friend.

Is there a way that the relationship with the co-worker can be put into perspective without causing any hurt feelings? For example, could you privately mention that it concerns you that she casually refers to you as ‘babe’, and that it might be misconstrued by others that you are more than just work friends that get along well?

By putting the relationship with the co-worker in line first will make it easier on all three of you, should you end up dating the best friend.

Uh Uh, this will suck in some way or another no matter what you do…I suggest you create very clear boundaries with the work girl (though she might make your life difficult for ‘leading her on’ and wanting her bf) and go for it with the best friend (though she might make your life difficult for ‘flirting at work’ with her bf)...dude, good luck.

Why not take both?

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Dude, true story.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies I live in a small town where things get around quick. Like super quick. Like I just took a piss and everyone already probably knows, quick. And threesome won’t work, because I already suggested that, jokingly, to the work girl and she almost blew a gasket.

Thanks for the suggestions though. Much appreciated.

Honesty is the best policy, in conjunction with tact. Take care of what you have to with the first girl, let it sit for a while. If the second girl and you really connected, and you tell her why it must sit for a little while, it’ll be ok. Ructions are no fun!!! @janbb thank you so much for reminding me how cool that word is!

Date em both! The cream rises to the top.

“I already suggested that, jokingly, to the work girl and she almost blew a gasket.”

Uhhh… I would ditch the one who is more likely to blow a gasket over a joke.

btw… i wasn’t joking… small towns could use a little harmless scandal here and there. shake it up… you only live once!

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies in this small town I have created so much “harmless scandel” it’s unbelievable! I love women and they love me. And that’s a real problem for me…Seriously! I’m really trying to get better about the whole cheating and promiscuous stuff. It’s just kind of hard though (no pun intended lol).

Cruiser is a retarded anal bead, but thanks to all the rest of you who gave great responses. I’ve got my work cut out for me I guess.

@Afos22 Seinfeld is my favorite show! How did I miss this?! Lmao!!

And to the rest, I know it sounded a little pretentious for me to say, “women love me blah blah blah,” but I’m just giving facts so you all can guide me with better information. Maybe this is something you all can help me with as well. I don’t try to make girls fall for me. They just do. But honestly I would give it all up for the “BF.”

@Cruiser is a friend of mine @johnny. So that makes two “retarded anal beads” you need to deal with if you’re going to be here on fluther with us. And we can’t help it if your young punk ass isn’t smooth enough to keep the juggling aloft without dropping balls on peoples feelings.

@johnny Just make sure to wash and clean me with alcohol when you are done playing with me!

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies <<knuckles>

Oh my
I am sure they will be fighting tooth and nail over you in no time. ;)

@Cruiser: Just hop in the bed of a pickup truck and go through a car wash, you should be fine for storage and future play after.

@Johnny: If these two girls are best friends and the one is serious about you then the girl you work with is bound to know about it. The fact that she acts like she still wants you to take her out could be a girl-test for them to know if you’re a low down dirty snake that would try to uhm, snake them both. Pick well!

@Neizvestnaya Good idea as long as I can avoid the hot wax spray rinse!

@cruiser and @RealEyesRealizeRealLies sorry guys. I really do appreciate all your help. I’m sorry if I offended. I love fluther a lot because of people like you guys. I was drunk when I wrote that and I don’t really know why I wrote it lol. Maybe my friends told me to put that or something lol. Again, sorry about that. Although depending on who’s it was, that might not be a bad gig hahaha. Maybe I was giving you a compliment in some strange way lol.

If anyone is still following this question, there’s been some more that has happened. So I’m currently on vacation with some friends, but I just talked to the best friend a bit ago, and she told me she went on a date with this guy last night, and she really likes him. It’s not like I can tell her how I feel over the phone right. Because I know she feels the same way about me too though. I don’t know if she’s trying to get me to speed things up by telling me she went on a date, or what’s going on.

And another thing, it’s not like I can call the girl I work with to tell her some of the suggestions posted here. It just seems a little tacky or flaky or whatever. All I know is that I don’t want the best friend to get away from me, you know? I’m on vacation for another 5 days and I think it will be too long. Suggestions please and thank you.

awww @johnny I do appreciate the step to the plate words! You are good in my book bro!

All good on my end but please don’t make me give up my beads!!

“I don’t know if she’s trying to get me to speed things up by telling me she went on a date, or what’s going on.”

Never let a woman tell you how to drive. Either drive well yourself, or turn the wheel completely over to her and get out of the way.

“I know she feels the same way about me too though.”

You don’t know NAN.

“All I know is that I don’t want the best friend to get away from me, you know? I’m on vacation for another 5 days and I think it will be too long.”

Think about it too much and miss out on your vacation possibilities. And sorry dude, you really need to get out of the teenage mindset of thinking a Good Catch is going to “get away from me”. Women aren’t fish for your frying pan.

Grow up a little and consider the benefits of actually courting a woman into respecting you. Women love decisive men. Stop being so wishy washy… They hate that. They don’t want to be your mother.