How to quickly get alcohol out of your system?

5 or six beers will be out of your system in about 5–6 hours naturally. So, if last night was a while ago, you should be good by now. The only way to speed up the process is exercise, but it wont make much of a difference

I’m not sure how to answer this question. Are you hungover?

These ways definitely won’t work. As far as I know there’s no magic way to get alcohol out of your system, other than time, though this page looks helpful.

The metabolism of alcohol is said to follow zero-order kinetics, which means that only a fixed quantity gets eliminated from your bloodstream each hour. The higher your alcohol level, the longer it will take to disappear. (This is unlike most drugs, which have first-order kinetics characterized by an exponential half-life.)

Other than metabolism by the liver, plus a small amount excreted by kidneys or exhaled by lungs, I suppose you could try hemodialysis—an artificial kidney machine!

@gasman
It isn’t quite a fixed quantity though. The presence of alcohol stimulates its removal, so towards the end of the removal fewer enzymes are produced to rid the body of the alcohol. To restimulate this removal rate, hair of the dog (aka a shot of whisky) is the only, and very counterintuitive, way.

@robinj1963 Welcome to Futher.

By my calculations based on @Aqua ‘s references, you should be OK about now.

@ModernEpicurian In my youth that was the technique for hangovers. Drunk on beer: Have a can of beer. On wine: drink a glass of wine.

It was not something to enjoy, but it sure helped the head.

I don’t think anything can actually speed up the process of removing alcohol from your bloodstream, but drinking a lot of water will definitely make you feel better. A hangover is basically just dehydration.

Your body’s rate of alcohol absorption varies with many different factors affecting it, such as your weight, gender, stomach contents prior to, during and after drinking, activity levels, the speed at which you drank, your general mood etc. To be completely safe (for driving), you should estimate 40 minutes per unit (10ml) of alcohol consumed.

Have a look here and here for more information

Can’t be done without an external machine.

@mattbrowne what kind of a machine?

@ModernEpicurian I suppose chronic alcoholics metabolize more quickly due to enzyme induction—at least until their livers are shot! I think the reason metabolism occurs at a fixed rate is that the enzyme system (alcohol dehydrogenase etc.) becomes saturated with substrate. As @meiosis explains, however, the (mainly) fixed rate varies among individuals.

There’s also the issue of redistribution: peak blood alcohol concentration (BAC) falls after drinking & absorption, as some of it leaves the blood by absorbing into other tissues, eventually reaching equilibrium at a lower point (you’re less drunk), and then steadily falling as it gets metabolized.

@gasman
This would be the case assuming alcohol dehydrogenase is produced at a constant and high rate, however this is not always the case as I alluded, hence me stating that there is a need to stimulate this production by increasing (obviously not by too great a quantity) alcohol in the blood stream.