What's a polite, humorous response when asked your age and you don't want to reveal it?

I’d tell ya, but then I’d have to kill ya.

I would like to know in what situation one couldn’t be offensive and shouldn’t reveal one’s age…

But regardless, I like the old “Well, let’s just say old/young enough.”

I’m curious as to what kind of situation your SO was in. It seems strange that she “should not respond honestly”...

Anyway, there’s always the “A lady never reveals her age”.
She could calculate her age on another planet (I’m 30, but on Mercury I’m 126) and respond that way.
Depending on the situation, “Old enough to know better, young enough not to care” could work.

My wife and i agree on this statement:

“We both are 29 and holding”.

If you are going to tell a little white lie, might as well make it a good one.

The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain ~ Chinese proverb

You’re grounded! ;)

I usually just go with “I’ll never tell…”

“Plenty-something”

Old enough to buy ammo.

“Just a little bit older than my teeth”

Old enough to vote.

Some days I answer—honestly!—I’m so old that I’ve forgotten. And I leave it at that.

“Why bless your soul, sweetheart. I am so flattered by your concern.” Bat eyelashes and turn to person next to you.

Best said in a pseudo Southern accent.

Should they pursue it, you stare at them with disdain for being so rude and say with a steely tone (no longer in Southern accent), “a lady never reveals her age.” If you want to take it down a notch, you lose the attitude, and say, “why even my closest friends don’t know (or great aunt Sally doesn’t know) that. And they give me cards every year.”

I’m perfectly comfortable with my age, and one of my favorite humorous lines is…..
’ what we lose in form we gain in wisdom.’

Sure, I miss my 20 year old ass, but, I wouldn’t trade the age of wisdom for it. lol

Always answer a question that you don’t want to answer with another question.

“And you want to know this because?”

“How much do you 1) weight, 2) earn, 3) look at internet porn?”

“What’s it to ya?”

“How much will you donate to my favorite charity if I tell you?”

Use a pleasant and mildly amused tone of voice.

“It’s over nine thousaaaaaand!”

I turn it round – I ask the person how old they think I am.

If you want to know, cut my leg off and count the rings.

the next one depends on your age, but for my age i could say: “old enough to have thought 16-bit was revolutionary”.

Old enough to know better, young enough to not care.

To answer your question as to what could be said that is polite:

I have always been sensitive about my age, ever since I hit 18. My responses to people’s inquiries have always ranged the gamut, but nowadays I just say a range and leave it at that.

“I’m in my twenties.”

People typically are set back by such a strange answer, that they don’t ask again. But some do, and to them I reply:

“I never tell my direct age; I apologize.”

In a flurtatious manner, say “How old do you want me to be…...?”

Is flurtation the fluther version of flirting?

Old enough to run for President.

I don’t define myself by my age.

Old enough to do everything legal and young enough to still enjoy it.

I ask how old they think I am and smile when they get to an age near 29. It doesn’t matter to me if they believe it or not, it matters they see I’m being pleasant but still not going to answer their snoopiness.
My Grampa used to say we over 29 should be 29 forever thereafter.

When I first moved into my house the neighbor behind me came over and invited me to his birthday party because he invites all the neighbors. It was his “third anniversary to his 65th birthday” party.

“Compared to the age of the universe I am just a baby at best”.

Well now when I show off my daughters pictures I get ” I can see where she gets her beauty from”..I think that’s so cute, even if I am a fading blossom. lol