Is there anyone in a relationship that doesn't fantasize about others?

As a teenager, there was a line I was always fond of from the movie Superman 3. Robert Vaughn was the bad guy, and he said to his henchmen…

“I can’t have anybody with me, who isn’t with me”.

I don’t know why that line has always stuck out in my mind. But I try to remember it in all affairs from business to personal relationships.

I don’t fantasize about anyone other than my husband. I do think other people are attractive, but it ends there.

Um. I can honestly say I never fantasized about oher men while I was in a relationship with my ex. I may have had passing, idle thoughts which lasted about as long as it took for me to see the next thing in my field of vision. Certainly nothing active or overt. I was just not even interested enough to take it in that direction.

I did once and, truly, the fantasy was so much better than the actual man when I did go out with him. Which is the definition of fantasy.

Nice to know that there are those that don’t fantasize haha. I don’t know what it is… I just can’t fantasize. I wonder if my bf is the same way. I know that back when we first dated he didn’t even have thoughts about me or other girls while doing things cuz he felt like it was “rude” LMAO…I’m sure it’s changed over the years.

Me. Since I have been with my boyfriend (a good few years now) I haven’t fantasized about anyone else. Like you said, if I try, it doesn’t turn me on anyway.

I never have and doubt that I ever will. My SO is more than enough. Sorry Christian Bale…I adore you, but you will never enter into my fantasy world.

I don’t. Never have. I find them attractive but the idea of having sex with them is really repulsive, for some reason.

I think there are many women who do not.

I don’t believe you!

I’m more or less the same, it’s not that I need to be emotionaly invested, it’s a loyalty thing. I’ll catch my self starting to and I’ll stop my self. I will check out girls asses, but I look at them the same way I look at a cool car.

What about men? many women are answering but I want to know from a man’s perspective

Nope… true til the end. I’ll go out of my way to avoid even looking at other women when I’m in a relationship. Not only when I’m with her, but also when I’m alone. Don’t even want to entertain the temptation.

As a courtesy to other men, if I see a couple walking towards me, I’ll specifically make eye contact with the man, avoiding looking at his girl at all costs. I respect a man’s place with his woman.

I am married and have had fantasies, but they only add to my relationship. However, I know that they are fantasy not reality. It’s a slippery slope sometimes (especially when we were first married and figuring out how to navagate our relationship), but my hubby and I are open with each other about it. I would never ACT on the fantasy and to us- that’s what is most important. I am not blind to the fact that my husband has his own little “spank bank” as well…..

Like you, I’ve only got eyes for my guy. I know plenty of people who have sexual attraction and love as different deals but for me then love intensifies the sexual aspect and then I’m spun.

Perhaps I have an unfair advantage, or disadvantage, depending upon how you look at it.

I’m a fashion photographer, for thirty years now. I make my living photographing gorgeous women of all ages. They have become nothing to me. I’m quite numb to them. And one of the reasons I’m still in business is that I don’t fuck around with the models. But you might imagine, that over the years I’ve developed some pretty good friendships with many pretty ladies. Many of them married, and I’ve often become the go to guy for them to share secrets with. On occasion, the married woman will make a move on me. Nothing repulses me more, and that perceived friendship ends immediately.

But being in the business, I know the ugly truth about beautiful women. And I try to relate that to any relationship that I’m in, or pursuing. It’s hard for some to understand my position, and often, I have to let a girl go on her way because she can’t get past the jealousy, no matter how much time and reassurance I give her. If she can’t deal with it, then neither can I.

It’s one of the very reasons that I’m moving away from the fashion side of the business and pursuing more artwork now. But even then, the network of friends is old and established, and a new date doesn’t always cope with that very well. Alas, I am currently a single soldier. I like it that way, having no plans to change it in the near future. Nothing could change that unless an extremely secure woman came along. And even then, we’d have to grow a friendship for a very very long time before any romance was considered.

Do you guys think that it’s not that serious if your significant other thinks of someone else?
I asked my boyfriend what does he think about, if he thinks about celebrities, girls he knows, porn stars, etc. He told me that he doesn’t think of people he knows because it’s weird to him. He usually thinks about doing things to me or thinks about some made up girls…whatever comes to his mind so it depends. He said he doesn’t think it all in detail like I do.

I asked him why he thought of other people. His response, “I don’t know…I’m not a robot. I just think of whatever pops in my mind.” It just sucks cuz when I think of sex I think of ONLY him.

Young guys tend to do that. I don’t know the actual statistics, but men think about sex hundreds of times per day. It is constantly on our minds, even subconsciously. The difference between younger and older men is that the younger ones don’t typically care what they stick their dick in. Older men are a bit more selective with whom they share themselves with.

I think I read somewhere that men often fantasize about disembodied parts rather than a whole body with identifiable face.

lmao that’s interesting! one time me and my bf talked about preferences with videos…I told him I preferred a ‘far’ away shot…and I was annoyed with all the close ups of the body parts. and he told me that my perspective is very female. You’re right about that…haha.

I am not bothered that my husband may have fantasies or thoughts about others. I expect it. He hates strip clubs though and never looks at nudie magazines. It think if he was more obvious about any lusting that may occur, it could be a problem….but it would be unrealistic for me to think that he never fantasizes about another person. I also have faith enough that he would never act on anything.

The entire time I was married I fantasized about other men, these days I am convinced that is how I managed to stay married to him for so long. Since I met the man I am engaged to I have never fantasized about anyone else. As far as I’m concerned @Seaofclouds said it best, I have found other men attractive, but that is the extent of my thinking on the subject.

I think men and women are wired differently and this area might be an example. I think there are many men who fantasize about women other than the one they are with. I am 100% confident that even if my man does fantasize he would never do anything toward acting on those fantasies. Just because I don’t do the same thing doesn’t mean I begrudge his doing it.

Why did you fantasize when you were married but the man you’re engaged to now you don’t fantasize?

@chelle21689 my guess is because I never really loved the man I was married to. I am crazy, unbelievably, beyond my wildest dreams in love with my fiance. I am literally living the love story right now, I don’t have to fantasize.

lol so you’re saying my bf wouldn’t have to fantasize if he didn’t love me a lot then? :( hahaa

@chelle21689 I don’t think that’s the case at all. It’s not a matter of how much you love the person, it’s a matter of who you are, what you like, and what you are comfortable with. And we have to remember that men think differently than women. Typically, men are more visual than women and enjoy visual stimulation more than women do. I don’t think fantasizing about random women means he doesn’t love you a lot or enough.

@chelle21689 no, that is not what I am saying. @Seaofclouds articulated my feelings of the subject pretty clearly. Thanks @Seaofclouds!

I have had eye-candy before I met this one guy. He is the only one I think about now. The hottest guy (he is known as the hottest) at school could ask me out and I wouldn’t want him. I don’t even look at him at all unless I talk to him.