Is a break in a relationship good?

Was that the first time the two of you talked about loving each other? Has he ever said he loved you before? If this was the first time love was brought up, it could have scared him and that could be why he wants the break. The fact that he said he doesn’t love you, but might in a month, makes it seem like that is part of the issue. But, how he could say he might love you in a month, I don’t know. It sounds like a cop out to me and that was his way out of things.

If he’ll come back or not is really hard to say. I’d be willing to bet that if you don’t give him the space he wants, he probably won’t come back. Did you guys talk about what is and isn’t okay during this break?

Breaks are neither objectively good or bad. Sometimes you need some space in order to work things out. The fact that he wants a month seems a little disturbing, though.

It also depends on how you are defining “break.” If it’s a break in communication, that’s totally fine, I think. If he really needs to think about the relationship clearly, you messaging, texting, emailing, calling at any point shifts him from thinking about what his problems might be as well as his problems with you to the whole “Why is she doing this when she knows I just need some time” and “Great, now I get to feel guilty if I don’t call her back” thought line.

Just figure out what you both really mean about the whole thing. Space sometimes makes it possible for a party to breath and realize “hey, it’s not all his/her fault.”

Perhaps your argument presented a side of you that he hadn’t considered before. Apologize, and then quit bombarding him with communication attempts. If he’s ticked at you, you’re only adding annoying to your list of transgressions.

This is where the saying comes from, “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.”

You cannot retract words, or force someone to forgive you. You’re just going to have to give him room to work through this on his own.

He doesn’t love you at the moment? What is that? Please do not phone, do not email, and do not text him. Maintain your pride and your dignity. As hard as this is going to be, you need to move on—without him.

You need to respect the break.

There is no telling how he will feel, but if you are clinging so tightly, he will be wanting to get away.

Forget about him. What he said is the one of the dumbest things I have ever heard. “I don’t love you at the moment but I might in a month”??? That guy doesn’t love you at all. Doese he mark it on his calander? On this day I will love this person? On this day I will love this other person? This guy is a douchebag. You will be one too if you fall for this crap. Be smart and move on.

We all say stupid things in a fight. Incredibly stupid things. If we all reacted by taking it seriously and leaving a person, I doubt there would be any relationships lasting much more than a month or two.

You had an arguement. He has suggested space…a break…and now you are hounding him ad nauseum. What is wrong with this picture? You don’t say here what the arguement was about but ignoring a request and then clinging is never the correct response. Honoring someone else’s request while maintaining your own dignity IS the way to go. You apologize, acknowledge that they want space, and then you give it too them…in entirety letting them know that you will be exploring other options. And then you do it. You don’t call, text, e-mail or cruise by their residence. You go out and meet other people and move on with your life. You reflect on what you could have done differently in that relationship and you make those adjustments in new relationships. He may or may not come back around.
Sometimes people are gone for years and make a reappearance in a new improved version. YOU BECOME THAT NEW AND IMPROVED VERSION, but you let him come to you.

After dating someone 1½yrs, for them to say they don’t love me would piss me off to no end, I’d ditch them and stop wasting my time. So yes, take the break and let yourself be available to meet a guy who will appreciate, fall in love with and thinks living/sharing his everyday life with you is a treat.

He isn’t “coming back”.
But even if he does, and you accept him, you will have demonstrated that you can be used according to his whim.
That is not a good position to be in any relationship.
Move on while you still have your self respect.

It annoyed me to just read that you are texting and calling him to death. This will not help your case at all, you are just annoying him more and reinforcing the fact he doesn’t love you.
Give the relationship a rest, give the calling/texting/emailing a rest. If he doesn’t come back to you, then you will move on. I would do so anyway, because usually when a guy wants a break, he isn’t coming back.

Only if you want to break up, because that’s what it is—the beginning of breaking up.

Just move on. For some people, when they say a break, they mean they want to break up but they just don’t want to say it. Don’t text him or call him anymore. Same thing happened to me 5 months ago. If you think about it, a guy who just stopped loving you out of nowhere isn’t really worth it. I think you need a break from all the worrying. I went crazy thinking about my ex to the point where I was dreaming about shouting at him and asking him why he treated me that way. When a guy doesn’t want to be with you, texting or calling him will just speed up the process. My ex got really annoyed at me when I texted him. Learn it from me, don’t do this to yourself. Give yourself at least some self-respect. Don’t end up like me! I was with my ex for 4 yrs. I gave so much to him and I let him do whatever he wanted and yet now he tells everyone how much i “tied him down” and not give him any freedom. He tells everyone how happy he is without me. Move on, girl. If I would do everything over, I would have walked away and not tried to get him back.

Well personally I think breaks in a relationship are a bad idea, that gives you the option and the right to fall for someone else. Also not trying to be the messenger of gloom and doom but sometimes people ask for a break because they either don’t know how or have to courage the end the relationship or they already have a replacement (for lack of a better term) in mind.

@chyna I agree. To think that would bring him back is just rediculous. I bet if it were the other way around she would want a restraining order on him.