You've 24 hours before your folks arrive at your home for a two-week visit, what do you do?

Clean, hide anything I don’t want them to see, and enjoy one last day of sex without worrying about them hearing.

What @Seaofclouds said.

I live with my folks, so I don’t have to worry about that.
But when we have extended family come, I go into hibernation and enjoy my last moments of sleep.
My family contains the loudest people in the world.

Leave town, with an explanatory note pinned to the door naturally.

Move out for 2 weeks…

Seriously. There would be nowhere for them to sleep if they didn’t have my bed.

Call a hotel and make a reservation for them.

@augustlan – nice, but that’s not an option! =P now what?

Execute a tactical retreat.

Lord, what did your parents do to all of you! ;-)

Hey, @iamthemob, if we had wonderfully perfect parents, more than half of the stuff on Fluther wouldn’t be there!!

Both of my parents are deceased, so I’d throw the monkey’s paw into the fire to see if that would cancel their visit. ;-)

Well, I don’t have any contact with my mother, so she’d never be setting foot in my house. But, if it was my dad… I’d clean (and it would probably take me longer than one day to do it) and stock up on groceries. And, have sex. ;)

This is make-believe time for me since I too live at home with my parents.

My mum has a bad back and wouldn’t be able to sleep comfortably. I would make sure to set the couch up for her, which is where she prefers to sleep. She also consumes mass quantities of tea. That would be the number one item on my grocery list prior to my parents’ arrival. There is no way my mum could go two weeks without her fix.

I would also check that my medicine cabinet and emergency kits are well stocked (particularly concerning pain medication, stomach relief medicine, and bandages.) Even if my parents remember to bring over-the-counter stuff along with their daily medication, it’s good to have back up just in case.

I’d also make sure the guest bathroom had unscented products because just about everything breaks my mother out into hives or gives her a headache.

Other than those things, I would wonder what the hell I would do to entertain them for two weeks. Surely they know by now how extraordinarily dull I am.

Nothing really. I’m already a clean-freak. Maybe just cancel… ‘sleepovers’ :)

It would depend. If it were my dad, I’d clean like a maniac and stock up on good food and beer.

If it were my mom, I’d clean like a maniac, consider taking some drugs, stock up on good food, think about leaving the country, buy Jack Daniels and ginger ale, the grit my teeth and pray for the two weeks to go really, really fast. I’d also fantasize about her saying something so horrible that I could kick her out and break off all contact.

First off if my dad were alive, there would be no way he would come and stay for 2 weeks. If he visited for a day, I would try to prepare him a meal like mom’s. And if my mom were to visit for 2-weeks, I would grocery shop to have enough food so that she could cook her arse off while here. That’s her favorite thing to do.

LOL! @MissAusten Seriously??

Clean the bathrooms.
Launder linens & towels.
Grocery shop.
Write out a list of possible places to go.
Have unabashed nekid fun with my favorite person (we’re seldom alone).

For all those who listed sex and nakedness… You mean you wouldn’t have any while your folks are visiting? I mean.. None, even of there’s a private room? I would think it would be a fun thing, like the teenage years when there was a lot of sneaking around going on under the parents’ roof!

@prolificus Not that we wouldn’t do it while they were here, just that we would be respectful and not let them hear us while they were here. It would also mean no sex anywhere but our bedroom if they were staying in our house with us while they were here. My husband is very modest around our parents and he doesn’t want them to hear/catch us.

Go shopping. Plan a bunch of meals. Not necessarily in that order. Try to figure out what to do with them.

My wife freaks out about how clean the house it and that the beds are made and towels set out. Actually, she freaks out enough for a hockey team. Which is why we hardly ever have guests. She puts so much pressure on herself. The holidays make her nuts. But me.,.. I’m laid back. My parents never got all worried about things, and always made arrangements at the last moment. It it was the hospitality they offered, I don’t see why it isn’t the hospitality they expect.

@AmWiser Seriously. I think I have some unresolved anger issues. :)

Our guest room is quite far from our bedroom, so my husband and I never have any problems having sex when guests are here. In our 11 years of being parents, we’ve had a lot of practice at quiet, sneaky sex!

^^ giggle

@prolificus: My mother lives with us so yeah, we have nekid fun but it’s just not the same as when the house is all to ourselves. Besides, I like to have free roam of my digs and not be confined to my bedroom all the time.

Get @phoebusg over here asap to clean the place up.

When my parents were alive, I worked full time, so I had my housekeeper clean everything extra clean, make sure the guest toiletries were put out, the guest clock was set for the correct time, and the alarm turned off.

They always insisted on eating out, so I wanted the refrigerator a little emptier than usual so nothing would spoil.

I would make sure to have loud earth shaking sex… get it out of my system and then enjoy the kind of sex where you have to be real real quiet while they are there… that can always be hot too!

Set up their bathroom with two bathrobes, two towels, a hand towel, little shampoos and soap. Go to the supermarket to pick up food for dinner when they arrive and breakfast the next day. I know you didn’t ask, but a week before I would have sent things to do that we have not done yet around town, and loosely plan out the schedule for the two weeks.

After reading some of these answers I am more and more sure my fantasy house has a guest house.

Have sex as much as possible, get totally trashed and then after waking up from my drug-induced coma, clean up my house. LOL

Why, where’d they go? LOL, they live with me so I’d be getting anxiety at them coming back because we probably had a good rest for the past 24 hours.