How can I become dominant over my cat?

He is in the peak of his adolescence and will be through his first year to 18 mos.

Make sure he has plenty of toys to bite and play with.

Alternate toys, bags, etc. for variety.

The best thing to do is tell him “no” and stop playing with him when he attacks.

Some cats become over stimulated and it is up to you to read his signals.

A spray bottle works well for a quick reminder.

When he bites, push your hand into his mouth more, not forcefully, but with some pressure. He will release it usually.

Ignore him until he calms down again and praise him when he is gentle.

You don’t want to become ‘dominant’ but you do want to be clear and consistant in your behaviors.

I have a 9 month old neutered male that is quite feisty as well. It is part of their maturing process.

NEVER hit the cat!

If he growls or meows and gives you a warning that he has had enough of whatever, cuddling, playing, it’s your cue to ease up.

If you force or antagonize him you will get what you deserve! lol

All I’ve ever had were dogs, so I’m not sure how true what I’m saying is, but it’s what I think is true…

I know for dogs the dominant/submissive thing matters because they’re pack animals, and packs have alphas. But I’m not sure you can be the ‘dominant’ one over a cat, because they’re more solitary creatures? I’ve never had a cat, but that’s what I understand.

What I think might work is a technique I use with my dogs (because talking at them doesn’t work anymore for me than it has for you). When they’re misbehaving, I’ll give them a firm, sharp, but not hard jab at their sides. It’s supposed to mimic the nip that other dogs would give them as a reprimand.
When they’re being particularly difficult, I’ll pick them up by the scruff of their neck (supporting their feet, but still) and they’ll shape right up.
[edit: reading @Coloma‘s response… maybe not so nevermind. This is kind of ‘hitting’...]

One thing I will say will go for cats, too, because it goes for all animals (including us) is be careful to match the discipline to the action. If you use too strong of a method too much, even if it’s very effective, the strength of it will weaken and the reprimand will mean less (why I only grab by the neck if it’s really serious.)

@Coloma he has a million and one toys. They’re scattered all threw the house.
If I just tell him no and stop playing he continues anyway.
Spray bottles have almost no affect on him.
One time he was biting my hand and I put my fingers in further and pinched and he just had a major spaz attack and just flipped out on my hand, it was so bad that the cuts are still visible.
And NO I would never hit him.
He has never growled or meowed. The only noises I’ve ever heard him make is a pert.

@DancingMind I can’t jab my cat because I fear if I am angry I’ll do it to hard. And lifting him by the scruff of the neck makes him flip out and crazily kick around and he does it so crazily he’ll likely break his neck.

The cat acts just like a dog! He runs to the door when someone is at the door. When he is being docile he sits on command and plays fetch. He sits up pretty and begs for food, occasionally stealing it. I swear he is a crazed dog in the shape of a house cat.

@daytonamisticrip

Cats are not truly social animals, so they do not follow the same rules as dogs do. They don’t really have dominant/submissive roles like dogs.

Coloma had some good advice; here’s some more.

Oh I forgot to mention my mom got him off craigslist and the owners told us about his parents. His mom was a stray cat and the dad was a tame house cat.

If a spray bottle definitely won’t work (you may want to try to increase the pressure), try using citrus fruit. My cat hates orange peels. (Don’t spray him with citrus fruit, but wave it in front of his face or something.)

I agree about not thinking of it in terms of a dom/sub relationship. You should think of it in terms of Pavlovian conditioning.

You can’t dominate a cat. They are independent and free creatures. You also don’t own a cat, it owns you. Generally, you need to use positive reinforcement for cats or displacement.

Some cats are less inclined to be handled than other cats. Find out what triggers your kittens behavior. If your kitten does not like to be picked up you have to decide if you can handle that or not. Two of my cats are don’t like to be picked up but love being pet. One will struggle to get away but not growl or fight, the other is a growler.

If your kitten does not like to be near you, or being petted, you could try giving it treats. Make sure the treats are high value to the cat. Canned foods are another high value treat. you can put out the canned food and slowly approach the cat. Eventually the cat should trust you enough to let you pet it. If your cat is full, they should still eat the treats but if they are showing no interest, try a different flavor/texture/brand and try withholding meals for a little while to stimulate hunger. The hungrier they are, the less likely they are to react to you approaching while they eat. Please do not interpret this as a suggestion to starve the cat.

Most behaviors should be remedied by using a spray bottle (make sure it makes a noise of some sort when you spray it) or a toy squirt gun, preferrably with a noise maker attached. Be careful to not spray the cat in the eyes ( i did that once and my poor cat squinted at the squirter for months). This works best for when a cat is jumping on countertops or cabinets, or is in general going places you want it to not go. At some point, simply picking up the squirter will be sufficient.

I mentioned displacement, what I meant by that is, if you catch the cat clawing your furniture, move them to another place to claw (I like cardboard scratchers) and pet them. If they like climbing on your cabinets, move them to a tall shelf where you dont mind them perching.

Instead of a spray bottle, how about something that makes a loud noise? Like, a metal coffee can with nails in it. When the cat misbehaves, give the tin a good loud shake. It may startle him more than the spray bottle, and if he associates it with certain behaviors maybe he’ll stop those behaviors. I say maybe because he is a cat, and cats are not like dogs. When he does something you like, such as sit calmly on your lap or let you pet him without attacking your hand, give him a small treat. Set aside some time each day, preferably at a time when he seems calmer, to work with him in this way. Keep the treats and noisemaker handy, and use them consistently. Don’t let him get away with something inappropriate because it’s funny or cute.

You say ignoring him when he attacks you doesn’t work, but would it be possible for you to ignore him by shutting him out of the room? Or, you go into another room and close the door.

He might need toys and games that require a bit more mental power than your average chew toy. Or, toys that give him a lot more exercise. Do you have a laser pointer so he can chase the light around? How about one of those cat toys that looks like a fishing pole but has a feathery toy at the end? Or something like this ball chase toy?

If you really want to give his brain a workout, which is a good outlet for his energies and may help curb his unwanted behavior, you can take advantage of how smart he seems and try to train him to do tricks. Besides stimulating him and giving him something to do besides attack you, it could be a good bonding experience for both of you.

Finally, you could try some calming products for cats. I haven’t tried these and have no idea if they would work, but they are pheromone based and claim to calm cats to prevent certain behaviors. It might be worth looking into. This website I keep linking to is my favorite pet supply site. They just have the coolest stuff and great customer service. However, a lot of these things you can find at any pet store.

If he hasn’t been neutered yet, please make an appointment with the vet to have that done as soon as possible. Besides being better for his health and a small thing you can do to help control the cat population, it may also curb some of his aggressive behaviors.

Make sure you’re giving him enough attention and love. When mine act out like that, it’s normally a sign that they’re pissed about the lack of snuggles and general attention that they’re getting.

You can get some of this so that it smells like he already owns the place. It helps calm cats down and makes them feel at home.

i’ve use a combination of a couple things, and my cat is very friendly now. even if your spray bottle is not working well, use it anyway. the spray needs to be a squirt, not a mist. every time you squirt your cat make a loud “TSS” sound with your tongue against closed teeth. eventually you will just have to make this sound as a deterrent without the bottle. it may take a while for this to begin working. (i know people will be mad at me for saying this… but if it’s really, really not working, you should spray the cat right in the face… carefully)

if that does not work, still keep doing it, but when the cat does not respond pick him up, or hold him down by the skin behind his head on his neck. this is what his mother would do, your cat should almost stop moving when you do this because his mother would move him around by the skin on his neck, and he should have learned from birth not to move in order to avoid getting hurt. the purpose of this is to show that you are his parent. it may sound forceful but i’ve had a lot of success with this. even when the cat is older you can do this but don’t pick them up by this skin, it will hurt them.

One of my cats didn’t respond to the water sprayer at first, I had to find the right setting (sharp vs wide) and do it several times, often more near her head than her rear. I also used a can filled with a few pennies that you throw near them (but NEVER at them) and it lets them know to cut it out. If they’re right near you, you can also blow in their face – they hate that!

@papayalily

Oh yes, the blowing thing, very effective! haha

I don’t know if this will be considered animal cruelty but when my cat’s do something bold I give them a little tap on the head with my finger so they know it. To assert your dominance maybe when you walk into the room, move them from where they are sitting and you sit down there, esp if that’s his favourite spot because then to him, that’s the most imoportant spot in the house.

@MissAusten ha locking him in a room makes him ticked off for days and he will destroy the house and attack out of the blue.
@papayalily he gets all the attention he wants, no more no less.
@lucid If you read above I already said that he flips out when I hold him by the scruff of the neck to a point he could break his neck.
@papayalily he doesn’t mind being blown in the face. He puts his ears back and threatens to launch himself at your face.
Oh and by the way he does have an appointment to get neutered. I don’t know what is wrong with this cat. I really think it is a dominance thing. He does snuggle and act friendly but if you do something he doesn’t like or just sometimes out of the blue he attacks.
Also the 4 of us that live here if we leave the minute we come back he goes all vicious. I think he’s trying to tell us that we have to stay here in HIS territory.
I think part of it may be because of the way his siblings treated him. Anytime he tried to hunt his brother would steal it from him. And he got pushed out of the way when it came to feeding time. And his past owners would let him outside but we don’t yet. He’s to small.
Almost everything that has been said here I’ve tried but nothing works. The only one I haven’t tried is putting oranges in his face which doesn’t sound like it will work but I’ll try it.

@daytonamisticrip

Neutering and maturity will mellow him out.
He is in full bore active mode and his hormones are kicking into high gear.

Neuter him and give it another 3–4 months, he WILL calm down, eventually.

@Coloma I sure hope so the little bugger just jumped and climbed my brother!

This is one of the main reasons to get kittens in pairs – play mate!
Mostly the discipline you’re trying isn’t super effective on a cat – they’re not going to respond well to being locked up or struck or shouted at. The shouting can sort of help when they learn that it’s a precursor to a squirt from a squirt gun or spray bottle, as a last resort, but that’s not really the best either (It can actually have a weird psychological effect on some cats, though this is rare, where they stop grooming properly. Be sure the water you squirt them with is very clean and not soapy or anything so they don’t get the wrong idea if you must do this.)
He’s probably just a bit bored. Get toys… get a laser pointer and keep him occupied for a long long time. Make sure his food bowl is well stocked at all times as well, as they get a little predatory when they think they may have need for hunting…
Also, keep in mind he’s still a kitten, and kittens are just bat-shit crazy sometimes.

He always has a full bowl of food! He’s fat, not literally, but he goes threw a whole bowl a day!
Sometimes, that’s a joke. He is almost always crazy and sometimes he is docile.

He got neutered about a week ago and for the most part has mellowed out, yay!