What's good about the holidays? How can a scrooge become more excited about them?

I would say give him what he wants for one season and take his wife with you. If he was totally alone with no one around he might think different.

The only good thing about the holidays is that people make an attempt to be nicer to each other and that if you live a kind of miserable life in general, you might have a nicer time around the holidays ‘cause that’s what is expected. I also think it’s a way for people to make sure they get together (though it’s not always a good idea) when they wouldn’t otherwise do it. Also, you get vacation time. Otherwise, it’s all incredibly overblown and I’m with you.

I think the key to changing his feelings is to change what he does for the holidays and what the holidays really mean. Take his kids to a soup kitchen to volunteer to help the less fortunate. Donate presents to a women’s shelter for the children that are living there instead of a home.

As far as the traveling and all that, why not just stay home this year. There is no rule that says you must go spend Christmas with your whole family.

Change your traditions. Go out to eat on Christmas Day so no one has to cook.

Don’t visit the grandparents this year.

Plan outdoor ice skating, music outings, and cut back on the decorations.

Just do what you want to do! It is amazing what that will do for your mood.

A number of years ago I just said “Enough!” and stopped dpong what was expected. I don’t succumb to family pressure anymore, the only person I worry about doing for is Katawagrey and we have simplified down to a bliss state. Maybe he could suggest an alternative to tradition and put his foot down and do the things that have been suggested above. It’s hard to buck the holiday trend, but I’ve done it twice, now, and am much happier for it.

I love the holidays. But I understand why people don’t.

In truth, I think that there is only one important thing about the holidays – they show us how we shouldn’t need a holiday to tell us that we need to show each other how we are appreciated.

I would say don’t boycott this time around, but do it next time with the resolution that you’ll start making sure you have random events to celebrate each other more often. Do smaller things more often. Have true “surprise” parties. Have a “Thanks for not Giving a Shit about Valentine’s Day” day.

The holidays should be a jumping off point for building a real relationship, finally, with each other – not a high-pressured event to jam all of the love we haven’t shown each other regularly into one day to prove that it’s really there.

Load the eggnog with lots of booze and pound some down.

Like others said, do something different. I don’t see much great about the holidays, either. I’m tired of doing the same crap every year and eating the same crap. I did do something different and it was refreshing.

The only thing he can do is to stop thinking about himself and how miserable he is. He should be pro-active and go out and do something positive for somebody else. He can make a conscious decision not to go to the traditional family gathering and instead, he can collect blankets and cans of pet food from all his neighbors and co-workers and donate them to the local animal shelter. He can do the same thing with non-perishable food that he can donate to the local food bank. He can volunteer to go to a senior center and visit with the seniors, help them with holiday crafts projects, sing carols or help serve the holiday meal. He can and should help somebody else to be happy and have a less miserable holiday.

If you are the one hosting the family gathering, you should suggest that he might enjoy staying home and doing whatever he would prefer to do and no one will hold it against him. But someone should definitely make sure that his wife gets transported to and from the gathering and is well taken care of. Sounds like she could use a little joy in her life, away from this miserable old sod.

You can’t make this man enjoy or appreciate the holidays, but you can give him the alternative to stay home (and you can even set him up with a pre-paid meal at a restaurant or with a home delivery so he doesn’t starve or complain about not being taken care of). But for everyone’s sake, don’t invite boors, spoilsports or buzzkills to your gathering. And don’t resent him for not coming, make sure he knows that you support his desire not to participate and make it comfortable for him not to come. Tell him you love him anyway.

The holidays give most of my friends and a few family a paid day off so we can try to gather together to celebrate each other, catch up and exchange some gifts. Most people I know really enjoy giving gifts so the holidays provide a venue for that. Aside from that, the holidays give us a chance to show off some cooking skills and excuse to eat treats we don’t allow ourselves the rest of the time of year. Hardly anyone I know is religious so we make the holidays about each other.

Not everybody needs to feel good about the Holidays. My cousin lost her son one year and her mother another year, both on Christmas day. I wouldn’t even expect her to be happy.

If someone wants to feel miserable, that is their choice.

Years ago I stopped thinking about the holidays as being only for the religious or historically interested folks, I stopped pissing and moaning about the blatant consumerism of it all and I started my refocus to enjoy the people I wanted to over those others felt I should be gathering with and that made all the difference. Scrooge- humbug right back atcha!

A scrooge can be excited about the holidays because somewhere, someone in the world is dying and/or they did not get what they wanted/anything for Christmas. Happy Holidays!

@DerangedSpaceMonkey: Hey, great way to remind me of all those sad “impoverished children of the world” shows my parents would find around this time of year :(

@Neizvestnaya I’m always happy to bring a little holiday cheer! LOL

I agree with those who suggest doing it differently. You don’t have to let extended family, cultural traditions, social customs, or TV commercials drive your observance. I can think of several people who’ve handled their holiday of choice (Christmas, in their case) their own way:

•  One couple buys a box of chocolates and a fresh jigsaw puzzle, puts their favorite music on the stereo, and shuts out the world for the day.

•  A mother of three school-age kids takes them with her as volunteers to serve food in a homeless shelter.

•  One family goes away to a cabin on Lake Tahoe, taking along a few gifts to exchange but mainly just chilling and playing away from all the usual stuff.

•  The first Christmas after my parents divorced, my sister and I decided not to have Christmas with either of them. We treated ourselves to new, fancy outfits and made dinner reservations at the Ritz Carlton in Boston for a truly sumptuous repast. We were a pair of pretty blondes in our twenties. The decorations and atmosphere were lavish, waiters fussed over us, the food was exquisite, and all would have been perfect if I had known what oysters Rockefeller were like before I ordered them.

@Jeruba : The visual I just got from that was priceless!

@Jeruba That was nice. I especially liked the Oysters Rockefellar part. :)

There is nothing good about the holidays. Scrooge is right. Pay heed to his wisdom.