How do you honor somebody on the day the died?
Just wondering how others remember special people on the day they died – rituals, special thoughts, etc.?
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In Judaism,one lights a 24hr. candle at sunset the night before as a memorial. You extinguish it at sunset the next day. Many things – prayer, reminiscences, a meal w. family/friends may be encorporated. You can also go to services on Friday night or Saturday morning and say the Kaddish; the mourner’s prayer.
just getting together with loved ones and talking about all the good times you had with that person. Laughing, and remembering all the humorous things about them.
My family has known this other family for years. We met them through my mom, shes been working with “nancy” for years. Nancy and her husband have five kids and the youngest one who was five, died last night. He drowned in there pool. We are all devastated by this, but most of all the mother, Nancy. This afternoon my mom went to go visit the family and everyone got together and just talked about the little boy and looked at picture, and shared all there stories about him.
I’ve always been a fan of the simple black armband.
I make a practice of getting very depressed for a few days before I realize the death
date is coming up, and then, when I understand why I’m bummed, I take a walk and
cry and have a long talk with the person I miss and then I tell my husband all about it
and he and I have a long hug on the sofa.
wow that sounds exactly like what I do
Go the the gravesite for a visit and clean up the grave. Then attend a mass in their name.
We did things that reminded us of the person we wanted to remember – like making a dish they liked or reminded us of them. On Easter, my husband went to the chocolate store where his mother used to buy Easter candy and got the same pieces that his mother bought to give each of our kids “from Gamma”.
We also often talk about memories from those people. Going to the gravesite and cleaning it up or planting flowers is a great idea. Really, doing anything that helps you remember that person or reminds you of that person is a great thing to do.
One time, my boyfriend ( now hubby ) was missing his stepmom, who died of breast cancer, it was on her birthday or anniversary of her death. So I went out and got a balloon for him to release in the air.
Recently on my childhood friends first birthday after she passed away also of breast cancer, I did the same thing, got a bunch of balloons (would have been her 40th) and my preschooler son and I sang “happy birthday” and released the balloons in the air. Emailed her hubby to let him know we were thinking of him and her family and that she won’t be forgotten.
The relatives of my family all get together, and then we get food and pray with incence. And go to the temple and pray.
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