My son asks, "Why am I me?" What do I say?

Tell your son to look in the mirror. ask him, “what do you see? tell him that he is a one-of-a-kind person. that no one on earth looks exactly like him. his fingers are only his and toes are his only. you might also tell him about snow flakes not one looking like another. its Gods plan.

Is he too young to learn about the genome?

Well, if it’s something one of the collective suggests you won’t really be the one saying it. Sure, you’ll be speaking the words but you should probably preface it with, “Son, insert person on internet’s name here, said I should answer the question thusly. . .”

Tell him he’s him because that’s all he can be. That’s all any of us can be, just exactly what we are. Just let him know that he should always try to be the best him that he can.

@Blondesjon – I’m willing to bet that @wundayatta would filter the answers for son-appropriateness, and therefore be at least in relative agreement with them, before presenting them as valid concepts.

Explain how he was projected from your scrotum into your mother’s egg? Or you could say something really deep. Explain to him that ‘he’ is a network of billions of neurons lol.

Sometimes all you can say is, “Because you are.”

Wow! I don’t think I ever asked such things when I was a kid. I kind of agree with the snowflake type of answer. We are each unique, and that is just the way it is.

“Because YOU couldn’t be anyone else”

Why does he think he is who he is? That’s more important than who you think he is…

I think therefore I am.

Wow, I remember this feeling when I was a kid, it’s still a little bit of an awkward thing for me to look in the mirror and say “I’m jlelandg”. I think some of our fellow experts have done a good job here, especially @RealEyesRealizeRealLies.

Nope. He doesn’t go for those kinds of answers. He wants something meaty, that will actually make him think. Not a put-off. Just pretend it’s an adult who needs the answer.

Why am I me, and not someone else? How did I get to be me, and not someone else. Isn’t this all sort of random?

He doesn’t mean where does his body come from. He is asking where his personality and essential humanity comes from. I think.

Oh. He’s been asking shit like this since he was five. Not that he remembers the answers.

“Why am I me and not someone else?!

Because if YOU were someone else, that would be YOU too.

My parents wanted a child. Out of the ashes of the Holocaust, they desperately wanted to continue life, to celebrate the living. And so, selfishly, they produced a child and tried to give him everything they never had, and more. Love, mixed with selfishness and a bit of science and instinct, bring a child to this world, who then does the same.

Now it’s your turn, son. But wait a few years.

Seems like your son is a philosopher. To better answer his question, you should go ahead and ask him “why do you think you are you?”. If he wants answer to this question, the only person who can answer it is himself. What does he want to be the purpose of his existence? You can tell him that there are always certain questions where only the person who asks the question know the answer. Or you can also try to motivate his interest in science or religion by telling him several theories that scientists or religions have.

What an inspired question. He must be quite bright to be wondering about such preplexing questions at such a tender age. You might get some insight from the discussion here.

What @seazen said is more along the philosophical route, maybe that will give your pensive child more to ponder? You can say along the lines of mommy and I love each other so much that we wanted to have a child as a product of that love. To continue life. I don’t know exactly how to put it, but I was always told that children are a persons’ immortality. And, it is not that he has to be just like you or his mom, but that he was created as his own unique being to be part of the world and part of your family. That experiencing life is a gift, and you wanted to have children so they could also experience that gift.

Each of us becomes ourselves through the many experiences we go through, that helps shape our personalities and our perspectives on life. So, he is who he is, because of what he has gone through, and he will continue to change and grow. Maybe point out to him how much more he knows now than when he was 5, that life continues like that, we learn more and more, and it only gets more interesting.

I’m rambling. I guess once you get started, you can change direction depending on his follow up questions.

It also comes to mind, ours is not to question why, I never really question why do I exist? Why am I me? Why do we exist in the universe? I feel no need to answer these why questions for myself. I just think this is how it is.

What a wonderful question, my dear son. You just asked me one of the ultimate questions wrapped in mystery, which are very difficult to answer. We all need to keep searching.

good luck with that one… that’s a beauty ;)

”...been asking… since he was five. Not that he remembers the answers.”

What answers have been given to him?

You probably know this one. I remember hearing an old Indian story about how each person has two wolves living inside of them. They are at constant odds with each other, battling for supremacy in our hearts. One is good, the other evil. The one YOU feed the most will win.

I asked my father what I feed the two wolves with. He told me I feed them with MYSELF.

i didn’t like the sound of that at the time

Maybe he just wanted to know where he came from! In which case, it’s time for the birds-and-the-bees talk!

@Dutchess_III LOL. He knows so much about birds and bees (they kind of force feed it at school), that the whole thing makes him go “Yuck!”

I like the idea of turning it back on him, because sometimes he just asks shit to hear me perform. I also like the idea that we brought him into the world—a) so we could be the best parents we could be, and b) because that is one of our gifts to the world, and we want to make sure it’s the best gift we can make.

I told him my story about people being the accretion of all their experiences in life so far, but this didn’t seem satisfactory, either. The physical explanations aren’t working. But I’m not sure which of the psychological/spiritual answers might be of use to him. He might believe in God, which makes it difficult for me to say anything helpful. I can only talk about what I believe.

Thanks, all!