Would you choose to do the right thing even if it meant turning many people against you?

I can’t say in the abstract. I would like to think so but there are times I have found myself to be incredibly brave and other times when I could kick myself for my silence.

I do that all the time. Some of the time people eventually understand why – and get to like me more. Others misunderstand my intention and get to like me less. But it’s more important to be true, than to be liked. Because at least it’s your true self (at the time) that gets the feedback. True feedback is the most helpful for positive development.

Yes, and have done.

Yes, and have done.

However, I try as much as possible to remember that just because it feels like I’m right, that doesn’t mean that I am right.

The willingness to do so is the only true measure of someone’s moral character.

@iamthemob I can agree with feeling like I’m right doesn’t always mean I am right so the way I’ve asked the question left it open for that, especially when it comes to issues.

What about other things I’ve mentioned like when someone gets outright disrespected for no justifiable reason that you can see or when you see obvious favoritism, what about the very obvious cases and you had to make a tough decision that may cost you many friends or loss of your reputation?

I don’t care about my “reputation”, because I don’t care what people think about me. I do what I believe is right, regardless of how other people will see me.

@Paradox – Those lines are too fine to call absolutely. For instance, a person may be disrespected because they’ve behaved in a disrespectful manner, etc. There are ways to express yourself that is standing up for a viewpoint that brings the discussion back to real issues rather than name calling.

Standing up for what you think is right doesn’t mean that you’re screaming, shouting, and railing against a machine, by necessity – you always have to assess whether how you’re doing it is or is likely to be productive. Sometimes the screaming is all you can do. But rarely, if you have good reason and can back yourself up, do you do anything that could alienate your friends if they are really your friends.

@DrasticDreamer Well said! Here is my take on this. If you have a few people who truely care about you then they are your true friend/s. It is obviously a jewel to have people like that in your life. However I’ve learned through experience that it is more important to do the right thing then to be popular. Again I’d rather be alone than with bad company. If people are decent enough to be your friends in the face of adversity then they were the real deal to begin with. I’m not perfect with this myself but I try.

@iamthemob Again I’m talking about an obvious case where you know others are in the wrong. I see this alot and I call people out on this and yes this hasn’t made me popular but I always feel better knowing I did what I felt was the right thing.

I have done that before and am not afraid to do it again.

What’s an obvious case? That’s the question this begs.

@iamthemob It’s an open question. This is common sense. You are sitting with a group of co-workers at lunch time, you get along with them and they never did nothing personally to you but they all of a sudden start calling another co-worker names because he/she is slow or maybe has other problems. Just one tiny example here.

Then you give the counter-examples. If you couch it in facts, and they hold it against you – well, that’s on them.

But again, you have to assess whether this is something that’s worth it. Co-workers are a different problem because you have to work with them. You can make a situation more difficult by correcting the wrong person at the wrong time.

By saying things like “this is common sense” for instance, you create the problem. If you think it’s common sense, but people are questioning you, it’s probably not common sense because it’s not the general sense people have. You might be wrong, or you might be uncommonly perceptive. Thinking of something as “common sense” means that you’re already assuming you’re right.

If the people who are bitching have only had bad experiences with this person, then they’re completely reasonable in complaining about the person.

I have done it.

@iamthemob You keep dancing around the question here. It was an open question to any situation that you may have faced in your life where you are reasonably certain that the other people are out of line. Why can’t you answer questions instead of trying to correct everyone all the time. It was a simple question.

@Paradox – I already answered it clearly – situations are rarely clear. You have to try to suss out what the situation is before you can be reasonably certain that you’re dealing with it right.

For instance, you are saying that I always do something, when your experience is limited with me. That’s bullshit. If I take that stance, I could say that you always discount anyone that doesn’t agree with you, and call people “right” when they agree with you, as I’ve seen you do on here.

That’s calling you out for doing something that I think is wrong. So, was that the best, and most productive way to do so? Are you going to agree that you ask questions only with the intention of getting the kind of answer that you want?

Yes. It happens on fluther all the time. There are certain topics that if you happen to post something politically incorrect, it will bring on the wrath of the majority and the establishment. Happens in real life too. Bottom line, I am the only one I see when I look in the mirror, and it’s only my own conscience I must answer to. The rest is fluff.

@iamthemob An obvious case where people pick on someone because of maybe a physical defect, Down’s Syndrome or something where the others are clearly in the wrong and it would cost you your popularity or friends. Some situations are very obvious.

@snowberry Fair enough answer. This can happen unfortunately on any other website as I’ve learned the hard way.

Generally, I would do the right thing even if people turned against me, and I have many times. Looking back tho, i probably would have done it less often. Some things are just not worth the struggles. You have heard the expression “Pick your battles” well that applies. People are treated poorly all the time. If you were to stand up for them every single time… well you could make it a full time job.

@Paradox – I don’t think those are the friends that I would want to have in my life. So I wouldn’t consider losing those people costing me anything.

Of course. If people don’t like my decisions that are good, then they can beat it.

At 67, I can see to the end of the road. It’s very sobering. It has made me realize that there are only a very few things worth fighting for: freedom, family, and honor. If I can die free, my honor intact, and with my family still loving me, I will die a happy man.

Yes. Without question.

As a parent and a boss it can be some of the hardest moments of ones life.

I’m a liberal. And I think to expose the serious dangers of non-militant Islamism (political Islam including the sharia) is the right thing to do. The majority of liberals seem to turn against me. Like myself, they criticize the Christian Right, but when it comes to political Islam most are extra careful thinking this is politically incorrect and looks like Islamophobia or worse, Muslim bashing (which I think isn’t the case). I have nothing against non-political tolerant Islam. In fact, I respect and appreciate it. I know many wonderful Muslims, who are afraid of the Islamists like I am.

But the discussions with liberals about the matter is kind of frustrating.

@janbb I have to agree with you. Sometimes if you are feeling strong its easy to do the right thing, other times it’s not. I think you have to measure how important a situation is to your own ethics. If you do the wrong thing, whether it makes you popular or not, it is you that is doing it , and you that will have to live with yourself for doing it. Whatever it is. That thought usually helps me to come to a decision. Hope that helps.

I truely believe that one should always stand up for what they believe is right. But over the years I have learned several things. 1) There is a time and a place for everything, including speaking your opinion. 2) There is a graceful way to voice an opinion and it should be used. 3) Just because someone is asking your opinion doesn’t mean they’re interested in it. They may just be looking for a fight. 3) Sometimes silence is best. While other times actions speak much louder. When it comes to bullying, I will take action against it. But as far as political views…..like opinions. And opinions tend to be like rectums…everyone has one and they all stink!

I’ve done it before and I’d do it again. I’m not a good politician; I dont do what will get me the most fame just because it will get me the most fame. I do what I feel is right and although I consider the possibility of my mistake, I dont change my stance just because the majority opposes me. I’ve spent too much of my life being walked on – I’ll be damned if I’ll spend any more of it not standing up for myself and what I believe in.

I guess I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I’m not.

I stand up when people minimize the harm that Christianism continues to do in the west, and blame political correctness and the liberal left for disagreeing when what they’re doing is spreading a good message in a potentially harmful way.

depends on who the people were that I would be turning away from me…people are the most important thing in my life and i would struggle to see something that would hurt, endanger or affend them as the right thing to do.

@mattbrowne I have to agree with you there. We should expose all types of dangers from any religion. Christianity is the default religion for most liberals to pick on. Islams track record isn’t too great either. Many Muslims do not support many liberal philosophies such as women’s rights, abortion rights, gay rights but yet they seem to get left alone. I’m not talking about “those few extremists” either. Most Muslim countries treat women as second class citizens.

I’m not trying to suck up to you here but again I have to applaud you for being one of the few liberals who address this issue. When I start seeing more Muslim men protesting for women’s rights then maybe I would give this thought a second look but I’m not seeing this.

I’d like to think so.

@Paradox Hey I’m a Christian, but there are many things about it that I don’t care for. Not all Christians are bad either. You made a good point. Thanks for being fair minded.

@Paradox Wasn’t there some harrumph some decades back about liberalism, and how it used to have something of a different meaning?
I’d like you to first demonstrate why liberal=good.

@Nullo – I think this is about fair minded=good. Both ultra conservatives and ultra liberals at some point lose their ability for critical thinking and challenging their assumptions. Temperance is a Christian virtue. This applies to how sure people are about their views. Everything is seen as certain for totalitarian mindsets.

@Nullo When you fall under the trap of labeling yourself as “conservative” or “liberal” you obscure your own freedom and advancement. I don’t need labels for I’ve learned to think for myself and not blindly accept every bit of baloney from either side.

My views on different issues are half liberal half conservative. In fact I’m very sceptical of people who put labels on themselves and miraculously agree with the majority or even all of the propaganda that supports a certain side.

I personally don’t like being confined to two extreme choices such as liberal or conservative. It’s the same with religion for I don’t appreciate being told it’s either atheism or religion. I don’t appreciate being called an atheist because I don’t believe in the Christian God. I don’t enjoy being called “irrational” by atheists because I still believe in a higher purpose and that we’re not just some cosmic freak accidents. I also don’t care for the way the creationist movement has tried to hijack the original intentions of the intelligent design movement and even criticise people like me who don’t refer to the Christian or Muslim God as being the designer.

I prefer to think for myself. Perhaps some people get an ego boost from conforming with certain labels or they find it easier to deal with life and other people this way. I guess I’ve choosen the more difficult path yet again.