Ladies how do you feel if a random guy stops you in the road on your walk home after work to ask you your name?

I don’t like that approach at all.I have always thought there is something creepy about it.I like brave men. ;)

I think it depends on how the situation is handled overall. His body language, tone of voice, and what he says would play a role in how I would respond.

If he just stops suddenly and abruptly says “Hey what’s your name”, I would be caught off guard and probably be defensive.

If he is more casual about it and makes conversations with it, something like “Hey, I noticed you are wearing a Penn State shirt, I’m a student there, are you” and it progresses from there to him asking my name, I wouldn’t be as defensive about it.

I don’t think meeting someone has to be at a certain time or place. If I see someone with a book that looks interesting, I’ll ask them about it, regardless of where we are. I think some people are just more sociable than others.

I would be frightened if it happened to me.

I think it’s fine at first – it’s not a problem if a girl does it, and we could all use another friend. However, when you give them an indication that they should leave, and they persist, that’s when the problem arises.

You may find this blog post of some interest, although I should note that the author later says that she wished she could rename it to “Stop Harassing Me”.

I have done it before because I don’t know how many opportunities I’m going to get to meet a certain woman. I just turn down the personality real low and play off what the woman gives me back. I have seen the fear come out, in which case I back off fast.

I never have or would ask a woman her name right off the bat like that.

But I often strike up conversations when circumstances don’t make it too forced, such as when waiting with someone for a bus, an elevator, a supermarket cashier, etc. But that’s just when we find ourselves together more or less naturally or by chance. I don’t ‘approach’ a woman who’s otherwise unaware of me… no matter how much I’m aware of her and would like my ‘awareness’ (and interest) to be reciprocated.

I’ve been trying to find out where @lucillelucillelucille shops for-damn-ever. No luck so far. And I doubt that she rides the bus.

I would hit him so hard he would see stars!

Is this just asking for a first name, such as hi there I’m Bob what’s your name or are we talking asking for name, address, and phone number?

Uhhh NO

When anyone asks me my name on the streets I ask them their name and why they want to know mine.

If a man would come up to me on the street- out of nowhere and just asked “Whats your name?” I would start walking faster. But if a nice looking guy, standing next to me in lie would start jocking around about whatever, and then- during the conversation would ask for my name- that would be 100% percent appropriate, as it would be for me not to answer the question :) GUYS_ don’t JUMP us !

I’ll be honest and admit that it scares the hell out of me 95% of the time when I’m walking somewhere alone. I don’t mind chitchat while waiting for the bus or train, or in line (stuff like that), but when I’m actually walking down the street by myself, I’m constantly on guard – and I don’t stop when guys yell out to me and ask my name. I glance, but just keep walking. What I really hate is when a group of two or more guys approaches me when I’m alone on the street, regardless of how polite they’re being about it. Dudes surrounding me, even with no bad intentions, is not something I respond well to.

Hasn’t happened in quite a while but no – I didn’t like being accosted on the street or having boys shout things out of cars or slow down – AT ALL!

I hate it when people call and say “who is this?” I usually ask who they’re calling. When someone interrupts you, either when you are walking or calling on the phone, they are not entitled to information.

@BarnacleBill But they aren’t demanding, they’re asking. That’s not entitlement.
Usually when I ask who it is after I’ve called someone, I’m trying to figure out if I’ve got the wrong number. Isn’t it better that if I misdialed, I waste as little of your time as possible?

@papayalily Please re-think your comment.
It’s no more appropriate for a man to walk up to a woman out alone and ask her name than it is to call up a stranger and say, “Who’s this?” It’s creepy, rude, and potentially dangerous.

I NEVER volunteer my name to a total stranger (man OR woman) calling me up on the phone. In fact, if they are rude enough to pull that stunt, they’re likely get the phone slammed down on their ear.

@snowberry No. If you have something to say, say it, but don’t tell me what to do – it is, at the very least, patronizing to tell me to reconsider my comment. You can point out a different way of looking at it without treating me like I’m inferior.

I did say it. If you were to call me up and say “Who is this?” I’d slam the phone down in your ear, If you later called me again asking the same thing, I’d likely blow a whistle in your ear. Is that better?.

Please forgive me for asking you to reconsider your actions. Let’s just say I’m just telling you what to expect if you were to call MY house. I only hope more people have the good sense not to consider “Who’s this?” as a legitimate way to start a conversation over the phone.

In fact, here, let me give you my phone number and I can give you a “treatment” right now!

I’m with @snowberry. The polite thing to do if you are calling someone is to introduce yourself first and then ask if the party you are trying to reach is there. Or simply ask if the person you’r’e calling is there without introducing yourself. These days, everyone knows that anyway, what with caller ID.

If someone calls and says, “Who’s this?” I will ask them back, “Who are you?” Sometimes, if I’m feeling nice, I’ll ask, “Who are you calling?” I never volunteer who I am to a stranger on the phone. Who knows who they are after or what kind of information they want. There are a lot of telemarketers or collection agencies out there doing underhanded stuff. The collection agencies always have the wrong number when they call my house. But you can tell they are fishing, and I’m not going to help them other than to say the party they are calling doesn’t live here.

In my book, however, there is no worse violation of telephone etiquette than to call someone and ask, “Who’s this?” It’s easy to ask for a name and then be told you’re calling the wrong number. No need to be rude.

Who knows? Maybe I’m just old-fashioned.

In all the times someone has called me and immediately said “who’s this” after I said hello it turned out to be a case of dialing the wrong number (or something of that nature). In my experience, the people that have said “who’s this” are doing it out of shock and confusion because they expected someone else to answer the phone, not out of rudeness. Now, I do think it’s rude to do it, but I don’t think they are doing it to be purposefully rude (if that makes sense). I’m a bit more forgiving of it than others I suppose. I don’t immediately give up my name, but I am not rude in return either. I take the time to figure the situation out by saying something like, “you called this number, who are you trying to reach or what number were you dialing”. At that point, the person has always said who they were trying to get in touch with and we figure out the issue. It’s usually a wrong number, but one time it was confusion over a telephone number.

The confusion over the phone number was an interesting conversation and I honestly felt bad for the lady on the other end. It turns out the phone company transposed the digits of her husband’s cell phone number when they told them what his number was going to be. I had had my number for several years at that point and she called and immediately said “who’s this” after I said hellp. I asked her who she was calling for and she said “where’s my husband”. She was unhappy (but not really rude, just reacting to her surprise of hearing a woman and not her husband), but to her, it looked like some other woman was answering her husband’s phone, so I could understand her being upset. We talked for a few minutes. She called the phone company, got the right number, and then called me back to apologize and explain what happened. If I would have just hung up on her, it would have just made things worse for them.

It’s not my responsibility to fix someone else’s mistake, but I’d rather figure out what it is and correct the person than have them continue to call my number thinking they are calling someone else.

Actually, asking “Who’s this?” is only an electronic way of doing the same boorish behavior as the original question.

I have never experienced having a strange man walk up to me when I’m outside alone and ask my name, but idiots will frequently call me up and say “Who’s this?” For me, it’s right up there on the creep factor scale.

@Seaofclouds, I don’t have the patience to deal with people whose manners are so lacking that they don’t know how to be polite when the phone is answered by someone they don’t recognize.

I like your thinking on the topic, @Seaofclouds. Without having put it into words before, that’s how I feel, too. When I get a “Who’s this?” after I’ve answered a call, my attitude gets more playful and bemused, “Who would you like it to be?” or “Who were you expecting?” or even “Well, you called me, who should I be?”

Or if the person seems utterly bewildered or hesitant, especially if they ask for someone who doesn’t live here (and it’s only Willow and me—no one calls her, poor thing), then I just ask “What number are you calling?” If they rattle off my number, then I ask them to remove the number from their directory, since I’ve had it for 8 years now, and “Joe Blow” hasn’t had it in at least that long. More often than not they’ve just mis-dialed another number, and I tell them to try that again. (And if the phone rings again 10 seconds later, then I have to gently remind them, “Don’t just hit ‘redial’ on the phone, dude.”)

When they refuse to play the game or get over their own surprise and just ‘demand’ (the second time they ask), “No, really, who is this?” then I shift over into “handling assholes” mode—and get a lot less playful.

Yeah – I don’t see it as such a big deal too. I’ll usually just say “Whom were you trying to call?” but it doesn’t get my knickers in a twist.

@CyanoticWasp Does Willow have a cellphone? I’ll call her.

I’m not giving it out, @janbb. It’s for her to use only when she’s going to be late for dinner or something. (Like that would ever happen.) Besides, I’m sure you two would just talk about me, anyway.

@Seaofclouds That makes sense to me. I never thought of it that way. I guess they could be in shock, although it seems unlikely to me. When I hear an unfamiliar voice, I generally assume I have the wrong number, but I ask for the person I want, just in case. Or I’ll ask if this is 989–234-8765 or whatever number I’m trying to call.

@CyanoticWasp I like your response. “Who would you like it to be?” Brilliant. I can’t wait to try it out. Hey! Do you give flirting classes? ;-)

Generally not, @wundayatta, and never with other dudes… so far. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

@papayalily, if they misdial, they need to tell me who they’re calling. The conversation usually goes like this:
Me: Hello?
Caller: Who is this?
Me: Who are you calling?
Caller: My wife
Me: You have the wrong number.
Caller: Who is this?
Me: What number were you calling?
Caller: (Tells me the number)
Me: You missdialed/transposed/cell phone company must have crossed the call because you have a different area code.

I am not about to give my name or phone number to someone I don’t know.

@BarnacleBill Ah. See, I thought you meant after you had exchanged several words – like if another woman picked up my boyfriends phone.

@suzie271 Maybe guys like that have allowed themselves to be brainwashed by the ridiculous dating advice dribble out there that encourages men to engage in this type of behaviour or they should be considered cowards for not “having a sack”. Our society has done a great job of demonizing men who do not approach women.

I guess whether you find this direct approach creepy or whatever depends on the women themselves. As a guy I do not operate that way. I’m lucky enough to have a sister who has alot of female friends. I would either get my dates through set-ups, online or sometimes meeting somebody through starting a random conversation at a store, ballgame, etc. It has to be a two-way effort when it comes to me however, I’m not into forcing myself onto someone. If a girl prefers a guy to come on that strong then those women obviously aren’t my type to begin with.

Totally creeped out. Apart from being stalker behaviour, it screams entitlement which I’m not a fan of. To me, a random man stopping me to ask my name is the equivalent of a random man stopping me to ask me to smile (which has, unfortunately, happened to me several times). It says that this person has no idea how to interact socially and thinks it’s okay to stop a random person and question them to the point of asking that person to alter their emotional state for the askee “Oh, sweetheart, you’d be so pretty if you just smiled.” – not something I like to be on the receiving end of.

For clarification, I live in a country whose crime statistics are through the roof, so there’s no way I’d take a stranger approaching me for anything to be a perfectly “harmless” act unless proved otherwise.