[NSFW] What are your feelings, associations, judgments, or other thoughts about masturbation?

I think this is a great question especially for the young that are coming of age. I was born in a religious family and was taught throughout my younger days it was taboo and you were very sinful if you do this. Every year I had to go before a Bishop and he asked about it and I had to always lie to him because I felt so evil. As a young man my own self image was greatly damaged by this constant push to be more than we are. In time I reflected on life and what we are and I have taught my children that it is very natural and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with it. Frankly I would rather have my children doing that than creating children while they are too young.

Everyone does it. If you say you don’t do it, I probably don’t believe you. If you really don’t do it, why the hell not?

I love it. :) I don’t think God would keep you out of Heaven because you whacked it.

My thoughts are, if it was wrong and harmful then why does your body prompt you to do it? I think its a healthy natural activity that keeps our sexual impulses in check, ive done and thought some very nasty self image damaging things because I just needed to masturbate at the time, scoring with a passed around stripper and having her biker boyfriend come looking for you is far more dangerous than going home and peeling the chillies.

I was never taught that masturbation was wrong, despite being raised Catholic. I was never taught much about it at all, to be honest. My parents never talked about it, we didn’t mention it much in sex ed, I really had to discover it for myself (and being a late bloomer, that wasn’t until high school). I am very comfortable with it and I do not feel guilty doing it at all. I do it relatively regularly. Although I’ve been busy lately, so it’s been a while.

I know that many religions seem to be bent on stifling pleasure in some way or another, this idea that resisting sexual urges somehow makes you a better person, but I’ve never agreed with that. We all have sexual urges and it’s embracing them and balancing them with other needs that makes you a better person, not ignoring and stifling them. Still, none of that has ever discouraged me from masturbating or caused me to feel guilty; I’ve been pretty comfortable with it since I first discovered it.

I don’t really do it very often, at least not to orgasm. I don’t know why; I wasn’t ever told that it was wrong or anything like that.

I started when I also started to remember (aka have long term memory in this system of repr.) – probably 5. Never had an issue with it. No guilt, just pleasure. It’s a necessary release for the time being given my hormones, and eventually it’ll fade a little. Just nature going about its business.

@phoebusg Don’t count on it fading. Just saying.

@wundayatta all the more fun then :P I’m fine either way.

Did you ever feel guilty about it; do you feel guilty now? Nope. The only thing I feel about it is… well, good.
Do you judge yourself for liking it too much or too little? Who am I to judge? (chuckle)
Does it bother you that you use porn to help you? The only issue I’d have is the manipulation aspect – I don’t like the idea that people are used and manipulated for the porn industry. Most of the porn I look at is free and posted on a website by people who freely contribute; they’re giving a “free show”, so to say. Therefore, my conscience doesn’t bother me.
Do you sneak it into your life? I mean, I do it in private… no more than I sneak showers into my life?
Are you totally comfortable with it? I’ve talked extensively about masturbation with my closest friends; I’d say I’m fairly comfortable about it. I’ve already caught enough people doing it to know I’m not the only one banging one out every now and then, ha.
If so, how did you get past all the negative messages about it? Who cares? Jimmy down there sure doesn’t. I guess I got past all of the stigmatization by blocking everything out and using my own mind and instead of buying into every utterance of conditioning by society.

It’s a good stress release, it isn’t harming anyone and it’s perfectly safe (assuming you dont accompany masturbation with other “fun” hobbies and adventures”. What’s wrong with it? Religious dogma practically tells you that it’s wrong to breathe – not to knock it or any theology (I actually respect theology a lot) for that matter.

Did you ever feel guilty about it; do you feel guilty now? I honestly don’t think I was ever ashamed of it. I knew it wasn’t something to do in front of anyone, but I never felt embarrassed by doing it or admitting to doing it. My mom was (is) really embarrassed by all things sex, which actually worked out well for me, because I assumed that her attitude towards sex had at least a small part in her deep unhappiness and unending craziness. My reaction was to simply hide my different opinions (and other things…) from her, while understanding that sex and masturbation was a natural part of life and the sooner I got on board with that, the sooner I’d be happy.
Do you judge yourself for liking it too much or too little? No, I’m not hurting other parts of my life with my liking it or lack thereof.
Does it bother you that you use porn to help you? Yes — not because I see something inherently wrong with it, but because so much is a turn-off. Usually, on my way to find some suitable porn, I come across some watersports, several rape scenes, and several handfuls of scenes where the woman is crying, getting bitch-slaped by the penis she was just blowing, and no healthy attention is being paid to her needs whatsoever. Which then leads to me feeling sick to my stomach and needing a stiff drink and a sedative instead of a battery-operated-boyfriend.

Side note: I was totally freaked out the first time I stuck a finger in my vagina. My brain didn’t quite make the connection till a couple years later that what I had felt was my vagina, not a hole in which my guts were going to spill out if I continued to poke it. Course, during those two years, I continued with my clitoral stimulation… ah, to be 9 again…

I remember being afraid that I was going to give myself AIDS by doing it. This would have been around ‘84–85, right after I hit puberty. Back then the media made it sound like if you had sex with someone without a condom you might as well kiss your ass goodbye, because unprotected sex meant you’re going to get AIDS. Despite this fear I continued to do it anyway, of course.

@papayalily I can see it now, “omg why do I have two butt holes?”

@FutureMemory I actually thought it was a hernia. But an inside out hernia…

I’m pretty indifferent to it now. I didn’t use to be though. Not counting if I did any “exploring” of my body when I was a very young child (if I did I don’t remember it), I didn’t masturbate in my teens and early 20s.

I was never told it’s good or bad or anything like that, but I was dating someone (when I was in my late teens) that masturbated and it made me feel bad because I felt like I wasn’t good enough for him. A few years later I learned that it’s not really about the other person in the relationship.

After being single for a long time, I started to masturbate myself. Now it’s something I do to hold me over when my husband is gone for long periods of time. I prefer being with him, so it’s not something I really do when he’s home. I know he does it when we are apart. If he does it when he’s home, that’s his business, as long as it doesn’t interfere with our relationship. If he (or I) start wanting to please ourselves instead of each other, we will have to talk about it and go from there.

Did you ever feel guilty about it?
I did, yeah. I’m not exactly sure why because I my dad is way too traditional 50’s dad to ever try to talk about it, so my guilt didn’t come from him. My mom is the opposite of my dad, very liberal and open-minded, and even if she’d talked to me about it, she wouldn’t have tried to guilt me.

I think I was 10 when I did it for the first time. I musta broken my junk since then, because I used to be able to reach orgasm in a matter of seconds. Aaah, those were the days. Anyway, I felt intensely guilty about it and thought it was bad. My New Years resolution for the next few years was always that I’d stop ‘doing that’, which, of course, I didn’t. I’m not even sure I knew it was called masturbation until later.

Do you feel guilty now?
Hell no! I matured a bit, became more aware of sexuality in general, and – to my relief – realized it was totally normal and expected of a teenager. It all worked out in the end – I have a higher-than-average sex drive and I can’t imagine what I’d do if I couldn’t masturbate. If I go a week without.. look out!

Do you judge yourself for liking it too much or too little?
Nope. I like it just the right amount for me, for who I am, and for my particular physical/chemical makeup.

Does it bother you that you use porn to help you?
Not really. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with watching porn non-excessively, per se. I do experience cognitive dissonance at not agreeing with how things are done in the porn industry, but you know, sometimes I’m just in the mood to watch somebody get fucked.

Do you sneak it into your life?
No and yes. Mostly no, I do it when I want to do it, pretty much. In relationships, it’s interesting, because I do sneak it in sometimes. I mean, I love sex and masturbation is fun, but it’s no substitute for sex with your SO. My body doesn’t even recognize them as the same. So, I can be sexually satisfied and still want a little bit of private ‘me’ time to get lost in a fantasy or something.

It depends on the relationship, how open I am about it. In my last two relationships; with J, 98% open, but with E, not very. J and I had much better communication and we were pretty much equally matched in terms of libido and sexuality. As for E, when things got shitty, I masturbated quite a bit, primarily when she was in the shower or otherwise occupied. She’d have been hurt and pissed to find out, but mainly because I was wanting to be intimate with her less and less as time went on, due to our relationship issues and how volatile she was. So, I felt a little guilt knowing that she’d see it as selfish or as ‘wasting’ an orgasm when we could have spent that sexytime together.

Are you totally comfortable with it? If so, how did you get past all the negative messages about it?
Yes, totally. I never experienced any negative messages about masturbation growing up, so I don’t feel any shame about it at all.