Social Question

snowberry's avatar

What's your favorite idle threat?

Asked by snowberry (27879points) December 1st, 2010

Two of my favorites are:

If you don’t submit, I’ll hang you from your toes and beat you with an organic carrot until you’re unconscious!

Don’t do it, or you will come down with a very bad case of bad luck!

What are yours? (I want a fresh supply.)

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

20 Answers

LuckyGuy's avatar

I heard a woman yell to her kids: “Behave or I’ll rip your arms off and beat you with them!”

She was kidding.

snowberry's avatar

ReallY??? LOL. Awesome!

LuckyGuy's avatar

It was hysterical. The kids (about 8–10 years old) totally ignored her. That would have given me nightmares!

iamthemob's avatar

The classic “One more word and I’ll turn this car around and no one gets to go to (Disney World/go skiing/whatever).”

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I’ll make you scream like a little girl ;)

Likeradar's avatar

I threaten “my” kiddos by saying I’ll sell them to the zoo and bring back a baby gorilla, because I know a gorilla will put away their shoes/speak respectfully/etc.

It’s been years and their reaction is always to roll their eyes or giggle, but I still feel the need to make sure they know I’m kidding and will love them forever. God, I hope they don’t end up in therapy.

Cruiser's avatar

Just remember I gave you your life and I can take it away!! Now go empty the dishwasher!!!

snowberry's avatar

Awesome responses! Thanks so much! If you come up with more, please post them.

JilltheTooth's avatar

Mine was always “Do <whatever> or I’ll bore you death with empty threats!” Katawagrey always loved that one.

jonsblond's avatar

I will beat you so bad, your mother will not recognize you.

Stole it from someone on Top Chef just now. Sue me. :P

aprilsimnel's avatar

If you don’t shut up right now, I’ma knock yo’ butt into next week!

Oh, stifling the urge to yell back “HEY, THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!” when I was 7 was ever so hard.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I tell my kids, “Stop that right now, or I’ll beat you with a wet noodle!”

Seelix's avatar

My mom used to say, “I’m gonna split your lip in about two seconds!”

ratboy's avatar

Stop walking in circles or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor.

snowberry's avatar

Awesome! This is great

BarnacleBill's avatar

When they were younger, I would say, “Watch it, or the next time your friends are in the car with us, I will sing along with the radio.” Given that I cannot carry a tune in a bucket, and am an enthusiastic singer, that usually worked quite nicely.

rangerr's avatar

I’ll pull this car over and make you walk home.
That stopped after I jumped out of the car while a cop was behind us.

ucme's avatar

“I’m going to gouge your eyes out & skull fuck you!” Said by the Pope to the Queen of England….he was in a bad mood that day :¬)

Brian1946's avatar

“I’m not going to let you go to any Justin Beiber concerts unless you stop smoking weed!”

For some reason I don’t find win-win situations to be that threatening. ;-)

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